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Massawyrm Has SEX AND THE CITY And Leaves It Bleeding And Crying On The Mattress!!

Hola all. Massawyrm here.

Two and a half hours. Process that for a moment. Two and one half hours. Not 90 minutes. Not two hours. Two and a half hours. Now, with that firmly in mind, process this. Imagine, if you will, a Rob Schneider movie, a Ben Stiller movie and an Adam Sandler movie teaming up and slipping Rohypnol to the BRATZ movie, pulling a train on her sorry, barely legal ass, then leaving the unfortunate spawn of that unholy union in the LA sun for 40 years until it rotted and leathered to the point that it was attractive only to gay men and other women. That’s the Sex and the City movie.

TWO AND A HALF HOURS.

Look, before you start with the chorus of “That movie wasn’t for you” remember this: I enjoy a good chick flick. But this wasn’t good; not by any stretch of the imagination. This was a dick and fart joke movie for women. Make no mistake, the humor in this is as crass and base as anything the boys’ movies have to offer. Someone shits themselves. There’s a close up of some forty-year-old pubic hair poking out of both sides of a swimsuit. A four year old utters the word SEX to the amusement and shock of all present in the room. A Dog repeatedly humps pillows. Sound familiar? I spent a goodly portion of this film wondering when the Farrelly Brothers had decided to cut their balls off and develop a fondness for Prada.

Two and a half god damned hours.

Look, at its root, this thing is a comedy. And no comedy, no matter how funny, can truly sustain its vibe for two and a half hours, especially when it is gunning for laughs this low in the gutter. Add to that the fact that it is extraordinarily light on plot to begin with and you might understand why I was beginning to crave the cold taste of steel from the barrel of a colt about 45 minutes in. It isn’t so much a movie as it is a string of television episodes woven together. Every problem has an easy solution. Worse yet, those problems really aren’t actually problems. On the contrary, Sex and the City has set out to blaze an entirely new trail. One that leads toward the creation of the Anti-RomCom.

Now, that’s not to say that if you hate RomComs this might in any way appeal to you. No. You know how in a romantic comedy, the big second act kicker somehow involves one of the characters screwing up, then realizing how they screwed up only to seek out and win back the love of the person they screwed up with? Yeah. It’s kind of the plot of almost every single one of those fucking things. And, yeah. It’s also kinda why we love them. Well, in Sex and the City we see the movie from the other point of view. The guys still manage to fuck things up – but rather than watching them realize that and try to make amends – we instead watch the bitter, heartbroken women swim in an endless sea of self pity for TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS while, somewhere offscreen, those male characters are trying to make amends, only to find their apologies rebuffed. You see, in Sex and the City it isn’t about the big, romantic solution. It’s about women getting over their shit, realizing how they fucked up and then saying “Okay, I’ll take you back now.” And while I’ll admit that there’s more truth to these solutions than most people would like to admit, they do not make for entertaining stories.

In fact, it only seems to reinforce what I never liked about Sex and the City to begin with. They’re not flirty and single because it’s so hard to find a good man. It’s because they’re all completely self-obsessed, neurotic, high maintenance divas. And I found each and every one of them thoroughly unlikable. There’s a workaholic neglectful wife who commits the sin of all marital sins – uttering the phrase “Would you please finish.” There’s the oversexed nymphomaniac who is in a long-term relationship with the perfect guy, but is getting bored because she wants to bang other people. Oh, and no one’s ever mentioned the swinger lifestyle to her, despite her living in LA. And being in the movie business. Then there’s the girl who used to be the most neurotic of them all, but now has the perfect life. Married, kids and utterly nothing to do in this movie. Then there’s our glib narrator, the woman who makes a living writing about the adventures of the other three. And while the narration might have worked as a tool to string together stories in an episodic format in the show, her incessant droning will make you want to but your shoe through the screen time and again.

FOR TWO AND A HALF MIND NUMBING HOURS.

But I just couldn’t get over how much this shared in common with BRATZ: the Movie. Montage after montage after montage with each and every problem finding a solution by the fabulously dressed four getting together, squee-ing in a pitch that will deafen dogs and neuter most of the males in the audience, and realizing that friendship will get you through any bout of rampant self-absorption. Oh, so this is what happens when you leave Bratz dolls in the sun too long. I’m not gonna get on the consumerism trip. Not here. Not with the crowd that will drop a grand on a mint condition Revenge of the Jedi poster and consider it an investment in the future. A COOL investment in the future. Come on, I’ve been to a sci-fi convention. And once you’ve stood in the dealer room and pondered dropping $45 on the Battlestar Galactica Boardgame you had when you were five years old, you can’t really fault a woman for getting excited about a $600 pair of purple fuzzy pumps that look like they should come with their own stripper pole. I mean, who the fuck am I to judge? But Christ in a bucket people, did we need so many montages of them doing it? For two and a…you get the picture.

I will say this - the movie did take me back. 8 Years in fact. May, 1999. The screen goes black and words fade in. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The crowd loses its fucking mind. Then they watch Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Outside, after the movie, while several people bitch about the utter crappiness of the film, others embarrassingly say “Come ooooooooooon. I Liiiiiiked it.” Then they accused the detractors of not being fans. They didn’t get it. The movie didn’t suck, you just weren’t the right audience for it. Well, instead of A long time ago…, it was a piano tinkle. The familiar opening of the television series. I’ve read a number of flabbergasted critics try to explain the crowd reactions as devotional or bordering on the religious. But that’s only because they’ve never had a Trekee try to explain to them the redeeming qualities of Star Trek: Insurrection. Once you’ve been down that road, you can see exactly what this is.

Will the fans love it? Yeah, probably. This is an event film and yeah, I can totally get that. But it ain’t for anyone else. I pity any man who walks into this with his girl thinking he is in for just the usual hour and a half ass pounding only to discover that instead he’s entered a two and a half hour oubliette from which there is no escape. Ladies, you want to get your man to do something wholly unpleasant like spending a day with your mother or cleaning the rain gutters? Offer this as an alternative. He’ll do it. Trust me, he’ll do it.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.

Massawyrm

Wait a second. I think the plot of this was taken from an old D&D module.
I think it was called INTO THE PIT OF THE SHRILL HARPIES.



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Reader Talkback

Maybe first?
by Abominable Snowcone
May 28th, 2008
07:40:18 AM
Entourage the movie
by Orcus
May 28th, 2008
07:40:19 AM
Looks Gay
by The Ender Smites Foes
May 28th, 2008
07:40:28 AM
Never saw the show
by Abominable Snowcone
May 28th, 2008
07:44:05 AM
love the article title
by greentealite
May 28th, 2008
07:44:11 AM
Nasty old hags
by TedBundy
May 28th, 2008
07:45:02 AM
Damn You Michael Bay
by MCMLXXVI
May 28th, 2008
07:45:59 AM
Christ In A Bucket?
by The Ender Smites Foes
May 28th, 2008
07:47:00 AM
Orcus tried watching an episode
by Orcus
May 28th, 2008
07:47:44 AM
Yeah, but...........
by ChiefRoberts
May 28th, 2008
07:50:09 AM
So they made a movie version of that show...
by Kid Z
May 28th, 2008
07:51:31 AM
I was forced to watch a couple episodes of this shitfest.
by AgentArchangel
May 28th, 2008
07:52:34 AM
Thanks, Massawyrm!
by The Harp
May 28th, 2008
07:53:06 AM
Bad movie or not - the fans will never admit to hating it.
by beastie
May 28th, 2008
07:54:52 AM
should have had a pissed off bear in this
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:00:31 AM
or samurai monkeys
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:01:23 AM
we can even have dancing penguins
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:02:22 AM
Hags and the City
by DarthBakpao
May 28th, 2008
08:02:25 AM
The show was only ever dick and fart jokes
by Laserhead
May 28th, 2008
08:02:49 AM
they should have the same concept...
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:03:09 AM
Tony Jaa should come flying in from off-screen
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:04:02 AM
you know 2for2true is gonna see this
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:04:53 AM
saw most of Tremors II the other night...
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:07:32 AM
If you ever wondered why
by Series7
May 28th, 2008
08:10:30 AM
Can't pay me enough to see this
by Sithdan
May 28th, 2008
08:11:10 AM
I could just imagine the premieres for this film...
by AgentArchangel
May 28th, 2008
08:19:08 AM
it only seems to reinforce what I never liked about Sex and the
by Trazadone
May 28th, 2008
08:19:21 AM
$600 for a pair of purple fuzzy pumps?
by Knuckleduster
May 28th, 2008
08:20:04 AM
Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse!
by Marxeffect
May 28th, 2008
08:21:19 AM
A rancid show/movie about trash-talking shrews
by No Respectable Gentleman
May 28th, 2008
08:23:36 AM
Massa takes one for the team, and Harry...
by Pennsy
May 28th, 2008
08:23:54 AM
I never understood the womens fascination with
by Series7
May 28th, 2008
08:26:05 AM
What? I heard this was good.
by YakMalla
May 28th, 2008
08:27:00 AM
Epic Win
by tomdolan04
May 28th, 2008
08:27:39 AM
You know what I'd like to see next?
by fassbinder79
May 28th, 2008
08:30:07 AM
maybe a nuke will go off...and when they all
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:31:07 AM
Two and half fuckin hours
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
08:32:15 AM
No, NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
by BrandonGK
May 28th, 2008
08:33:10 AM
what this movie needs it graboids...
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:33:57 AM
A Theory
by YakMalla
May 28th, 2008
08:35:17 AM
wow, nicely said massa, not watching this shit
by couP
May 28th, 2008
08:35:49 AM
marx
by deSambor
May 28th, 2008
08:37:00 AM
i'm gay and i hate the show
by robat
May 28th, 2008
08:37:25 AM
Smug smug smug smug
by tomdolan04
May 28th, 2008
08:38:32 AM
massa I'd fuck a harpie but
by logicalnoise01
May 28th, 2008
08:41:28 AM
This statement alone seals the deal....
by matalo
May 28th, 2008
08:41:36 AM
TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF SJ'S BIG HONKER
by la_sith
May 28th, 2008
08:43:04 AM
I hated the show, but...
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
08:43:11 AM
Another Theory
by YakMalla
May 28th, 2008
08:44:48 AM
only to discover that instead he’s entered a two and a half hour
by Jonah Echo
May 28th, 2008
08:47:17 AM
er that should have read...
by Jonah Echo
May 28th, 2008
08:47:55 AM
All you Talkbackers..
by DonLogan
May 28th, 2008
08:50:09 AM
Wow this headline
by egg86
May 28th, 2008
08:52:48 AM
DonLogan
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
08:53:25 AM
Fuck the Medal of Honor
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
08:54:26 AM
DonLogan
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
08:57:25 AM
Movie abomination
by kwisatzhaderach
May 28th, 2008
08:57:54 AM
Plant
by menacingphantom
May 28th, 2008
08:58:44 AM
So how long was the film again Massa?
by Big_Bubbaloola
May 28th, 2008
09:00:40 AM
Nice review
by Bobo_Vision
May 28th, 2008
09:01:12 AM
Sex and the City is vaguely feminist...
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
09:03:28 AM
This was actually once a good show
by youhatestarwars
May 28th, 2008
09:05:41 AM
If you don't like the show, then why
by Cruel_Kingdom
May 28th, 2008
09:05:51 AM
If your GF drags you to this
by I Dunno
May 28th, 2008
09:09:35 AM
Sorry deSambor
by Marxeffect
May 28th, 2008
09:10:13 AM
It
by The Funketeer
May 28th, 2008
09:16:54 AM
Honestly...
by HeyJoe
May 28th, 2008
09:17:28 AM
It's the chick version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
by The Funketeer
May 28th, 2008
09:18:50 AM
rbatty024
by tomdolan04
May 28th, 2008
09:18:58 AM
This sounds like the perfect movie
by slone13
May 28th, 2008
09:22:08 AM
Lucky Me....
by NoCalFlicks
May 28th, 2008
09:26:17 AM
People will be shitting TPM forever
by Harry Bolzonnia
May 28th, 2008
09:28:50 AM
3 Hookers and their mom...
by charlie dontsurf
May 28th, 2008
09:32:39 AM
How dare these sluts comment on Star Wars
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
09:34:47 AM
The whole argument
by tomdolan04
May 28th, 2008
09:34:56 AM
MCMLXXVI sucks cock
by ChocolateReign
May 28th, 2008
09:36:26 AM
Is this really a surprise......
by D o o d
May 28th, 2008
09:39:13 AM
wow, bob, wow ...
by emu47
May 28th, 2008
09:43:16 AM
So how long is this movie?
by Midnightxpress
May 28th, 2008
09:49:41 AM
Quite seriously...
by Latauro
May 28th, 2008
09:51:09 AM
emu47, dude its two and a half fuckin hours
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
09:53:08 AM
"Insurrection" is great...
by Christopher3
May 28th, 2008
09:54:53 AM
For what its worth....
by Bobo_Vision
May 28th, 2008
09:55:47 AM
"...convinces ugly horse-faced women.."
by Silverglade
May 28th, 2008
09:56:26 AM
you really need some female reviwers round here
by FILMFUNK
May 28th, 2008
10:02:02 AM
emu47
by Laserhead
May 28th, 2008
10:05:50 AM
me me me me me
by hoisin
May 28th, 2008
10:10:56 AM
So how long is this movie?
by The Seaward
May 28th, 2008
10:12:19 AM
Your Opinion Please On This Deal: The Dark Knight and SATC
by Clarke
May 28th, 2008
10:12:59 AM
The review and feedback
by pearlanddean
May 28th, 2008
10:15:41 AM
Clarke.....your a dead man
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
10:15:58 AM
Don't do it clarke
by Laserhead
May 28th, 2008
10:16:04 AM
SO MASSAWYRM, I GOT UP THIS MORNING AND READ THIS
by BurgerTime
May 28th, 2008
10:16:41 AM
You can make a show about shallow people, but...
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
10:17:50 AM
flee the country Clarke...
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
10:19:05 AM
rbatty that was perfect
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
10:22:24 AM
Clarke, this brings me back to my earlier question...
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
10:24:12 AM
Yeah, Julia Roberts and Gere
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
10:27:57 AM
Exactly Nomore dirtyjokespleaseweareYanks.
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
10:35:23 AM
I can't watch any made today
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
10:41:40 AM
No...no...they should have let Crispin Glover direct...
by Kid Z
May 28th, 2008
10:49:13 AM
Sex and the City was never for dudes
by blackmantis
May 28th, 2008
10:49:52 AM
Did Massawyrm piss somebody off?
by Lucasblows
May 28th, 2008
10:54:21 AM
But, does she marry Mr. Big??
by TopHat
May 28th, 2008
10:56:47 AM
Only a hardcore lezzie four way will save this film.
by gridbug
May 28th, 2008
11:01:39 AM
rbatty024
by YakMalla
May 28th, 2008
11:07:14 AM
"real fact" #113
by just pillow talk
May 28th, 2008
11:19:19 AM
BEST ... REVIEW ... EVER !!!!
by TheCap
May 28th, 2008
11:20:26 AM
2 and a half long hours
by moderate
May 28th, 2008
11:22:58 AM
Haha, alot of insults
by Novaman5000
May 28th, 2008
11:27:24 AM
Also, think about it this way:
by Novaman5000
May 28th, 2008
11:31:27 AM
Indy at 90 Minutes...
by AgentArchangel
May 28th, 2008
11:33:05 AM
My uncle owned a Horse, I fucked it
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
11:36:12 AM
Speaking of Indy 4...
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
11:36:56 AM
Best thing about this show/film is the talkback
by conspiracy
May 28th, 2008
11:41:13 AM
Novaman5000
by Bobo_Vision
May 28th, 2008
11:42:46 AM
My wife has been rewatching the entire show in preparation...
by Bones
May 28th, 2008
11:43:01 AM
PS I Love You
by xevoid
May 28th, 2008
11:45:25 AM
The Phantom Menace...
by TwinkieTheKid
May 28th, 2008
11:46:11 AM
Kim Cattrall was hot in Police Academy
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
11:46:24 AM
Good point, rbatty024
by AgentArchangel
May 28th, 2008
11:46:46 AM
headline
by AnnaChron
May 28th, 2008
11:46:49 AM
And she was hot in Mannequin, too...
by Pennsy
May 28th, 2008
11:47:37 AM
Bobovision, don't talk to him
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
11:48:06 AM
marxeffect
by General Crom
May 28th, 2008
11:50:00 AM
really AnnChron? Whattabout Harry for fucks sake?
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
11:50:37 AM
Moderate, you are wrong.
by xevoid
May 28th, 2008
11:50:43 AM
Don't sugar coat it.....
by WickedChicken37
May 28th, 2008
11:51:44 AM
Yeah, she was hot in Mannequin
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
11:52:59 AM
Novaman5000...whats threatening about easy sluts?
by conspiracy
May 28th, 2008
12:00:22 PM
3 Hookers and their Mother
by ukharry1971
May 28th, 2008
12:03:18 PM
Did anyone know what an oubliette was before Labrynth?
by half vader
May 28th, 2008
12:08:46 PM
Labyrinth even.
by half vader
May 28th, 2008
12:09:45 PM
Your right vader, when I use plethora, and the person
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYan ks
May 28th, 2008
12:20:23 PM
You're review title:
by JMiles_T
May 28th, 2008
12:24:28 PM
FLAMING FRIDGE for Jessica Parker
by Orcus
May 28th, 2008
12:26:56 PM
I hope in the next headline
by Vern
May 28th, 2008
12:27:01 PM
Now, now, now Vern...
by Massawyrm 1
May 28th, 2008
12:33:38 PM
And half vader: yeah, I did.
by chrth
May 28th, 2008
12:34:44 PM
Even Monty Python couldn't be funny for 2 1/2 hours straight!
by kevred
May 28th, 2008
12:35:20 PM
A movie for and about
by Dark Knight Lite
May 28th, 2008
12:39:43 PM
nice review and all...
by RaveX
May 28th, 2008
12:43:59 PM
Look, the solution is really simple
by chrth
May 28th, 2008
12:44:16 PM
I have an image in my head...
by spectrebeeyatch
May 28th, 2008
12:47:01 PM
For those of you who get dragged to this....
by Bobo_Vision
May 28th, 2008
12:49:29 PM
I find Grey's Anatomy...
by SK229
May 28th, 2008
12:54:05 PM
spectrebeeyatch: you think half the guys here
by chrth
May 28th, 2008
12:55:54 PM
My wife dragged me to see some Kate Hudson movie...
by Big DM
May 28th, 2008
01:01:54 PM
Big DM
by Dark Knight Lite
May 28th, 2008
01:05:34 PM
Indiana Jones and the City
by pokadoo
May 28th, 2008
01:06:31 PM
Marxeffect
by Abominable Snowcone
May 28th, 2008
01:13:06 PM
I've only seen one episode
by Mattyboy122
May 28th, 2008
01:21:27 PM
SK229...
by AgentArchangel
May 28th, 2008
01:28:11 PM
Ooooookay...
by Archive
May 28th, 2008
01:30:27 PM
Glad my girl was never into the show so I'm safe!
by captboulder
May 28th, 2008
01:34:29 PM
I can't wait to see this!
by IAmMrMonkey!
May 28th, 2008
01:44:02 PM
I can't wait to see this!
by IAmMrMonkey!
May 28th, 2008
01:44:05 PM
Kim Catrall Is The Smoke Monster
by IAmMrMonkey!
May 28th, 2008
01:45:43 PM
"Relationships are like chocolates because blah blah blah"
by IAmMrMonkey!
May 28th, 2008
01:46:40 PM
Oh, so this is what happens when you leave Bratz dolls in the s
by christian66
May 28th, 2008
01:51:02 PM
RE: Whoever said Greys
by Ghost of Señor Nixon
May 28th, 2008
01:53:02 PM
Oh
by Ghost of Señor Nixon
May 28th, 2008
01:53:55 PM
my gf forbids me to see this
by Ghost of Señor Nixon
May 28th, 2008
01:54:54 PM
Wow
by quentintarantado
May 28th, 2008
01:59:22 PM
Now that Chris Noth has gotten his final paycheck
by skimn
May 28th, 2008
02:01:21 PM
The Fly VII: Horsey Bugaloo
by Ghost of Señor Nixon
May 28th, 2008
02:16:42 PM
xevoid
by oisin5199
May 28th, 2008
02:17:32 PM
Serious question for you Massawyrm
by Vern
May 28th, 2008
02:19:35 PM
Loathe the misogynist headline...
by Boromir
May 28th, 2008
02:20:44 PM
Vern, Vern, Vern ...
by TheCap
May 28th, 2008
02:29:17 PM
AICN CLASH OF THE TITANS: VERN VS. MASSAWYRM.
by blckmgk13
May 28th, 2008
02:30:44 PM
Why is this review on this site?
by Rupee88
May 28th, 2008
02:31:49 PM
Oh Christ, you people are predictable
by gruntybear
May 28th, 2008
02:36:39 PM
vern's got a good point
by frankenfickle
May 28th, 2008
02:37:52 PM
Why review this on AICN? One word...
by AgentArchangel
May 28th, 2008
02:38:45 PM
Gruntybear...
by AgentArchangel
May 28th, 2008
02:41:53 PM
not a clash of the titans
by Vern
May 28th, 2008
02:43:00 PM
How long is it?
by Drunken Rage
May 28th, 2008
02:44:57 PM
SATC Colon Movie Film For Theaters
by The_Fredo
May 28th, 2008
02:48:57 PM
SATCINO!
by bobjustbob
May 28th, 2008
02:52:59 PM
I am however enjoying
by The_Fredo
May 28th, 2008
02:53:29 PM
"Sluts" in the city
by Tarl_Cabot
May 28th, 2008
02:53:44 PM
I disagree completely...
by Golitsyn1
May 28th, 2008
02:53:58 PM
Kristin Davis
by FailureAtTheCave
May 28th, 2008
02:55:29 PM
That is a goat...
by caruso_stalker217
May 28th, 2008
02:56:09 PM
Pure.Fucking.Gold
by Sin86a
May 28th, 2008
02:57:02 PM
For all the things cited as being wrong with the show...
by KanekoFan
May 28th, 2008
02:57:16 PM
Just a Guess.
by YakMalla
May 28th, 2008
02:58:19 PM
Vern
by Massawyrm 1
May 28th, 2008
02:59:21 PM
Round 2: Coming UP!
by Flying Spaghetti Monster
May 28th, 2008
03:03:37 PM
The title of this article is not okay
by theclassic
May 28th, 2008
03:06:22 PM
Massa
by Flying Spaghetti Monster
May 28th, 2008
03:10:36 PM
Of course it's "okay"
by KanekoFan
May 28th, 2008
03:11:15 PM
theclassic
by dr_john_zoidberg
May 28th, 2008
03:11:23 PM
Ah, but how does it stack up to The Wizard of Speed & Time?
by uppercanuck
May 28th, 2008
03:14:19 PM
At first I thought Massa was the one bleeding...
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
03:16:08 PM

by Flying Spaghetti Monster
May 28th, 2008
03:16:48 PM
I'm with Vern on this
by necgray
May 28th, 2008
03:18:26 PM
horse face
by El Borak
May 28th, 2008
03:18:50 PM
But he's reviewing it for us?
by Flying Spaghetti Monster
May 28th, 2008
03:19:41 PM
I disagree.
by theclassic
May 28th, 2008
03:21:27 PM
One of this site's not-so underlying themes
by Boromir
May 28th, 2008
03:22:19 PM
For the haters...
by dr_john_zoidberg
May 28th, 2008
03:25:36 PM
Not saying the headline advocates anything positive
by KanekoFan
May 28th, 2008
03:30:32 PM
It would probably have helped a bit
by Trik_Ster
May 28th, 2008
03:31:27 PM
I would rather watch Superman Returns
by teethgnasher
May 28th, 2008
03:37:19 PM
It will do pretty well.
by gotham_night
May 28th, 2008
03:37:34 PM
This review is utterly pointless.
by Luscious.868
May 28th, 2008
03:38:21 PM
What's all the hate on Sarah Jessica Parker?
by dr_john_zoidberg
May 28th, 2008
03:38:46 PM
oh...
by dr_john_zoidberg
May 28th, 2008
03:41:18 PM
re: Firefly reruns...
by Trik_Ster
May 28th, 2008
03:42:16 PM
headline
by El Borak
May 28th, 2008
03:42:53 PM
Fuck this shit
by dioxholster
May 28th, 2008
03:46:59 PM
SATC. a curious spectacle
by Kizeesh
May 28th, 2008
03:47:17 PM
Headline "humor"
by theclassic
May 28th, 2008
03:49:02 PM
Rape isn't funny, however
by KanekoFan
May 28th, 2008
03:50:28 PM
theclassic
by Flying Spaghetti Monster
May 28th, 2008
03:52:12 PM
yah, what KanekoFan said
by Flying Spaghetti Monster
May 28th, 2008
03:53:02 PM
Conspiracy,
by Novaman5000
May 28th, 2008
03:54:08 PM
Rape is funny
by Kizeesh
May 28th, 2008
03:54:35 PM
KanekoFan, what are you a post-structualist?
by rbatty024
May 28th, 2008
03:54:59 PM
Must be the end times...
by REDD
May 28th, 2008
03:58:23 PM
Oh, and the title of the article is funny.
by Novaman5000
May 28th, 2008
03:58:26 PM
Actually, by and large
by KanekoFan
May 28th, 2008
03:58:32 PM
Oh if only Sean Connery would voiceover the commercial
by skimn
May 28th, 2008
03:59:39 PM
This show promotes the notion its ok to be a whore....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
May 28th, 2008
03:59:39 PM
Nobody go see it because
by dioxholster
May 28th, 2008
04:10:21 PM
To all da Haters
by Rufferto
May 28th, 2008
04:21:36 PM
Misogyny - so much more fun than getting laid!
by odessa21
May 28th, 2008
04:22:17 PM
girl wants me to see this
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:24:22 PM
Odessa21
by Kizeesh
May 28th, 2008
04:30:23 PM
your girlfriends want to see this
by Rufferto
May 28th, 2008
04:30:41 PM
Gee, a guy hated the movie
by gotham_night
May 28th, 2008
04:30:53 PM
all the great discussion of horse faces, bitches, faggots, chink
by Ghost of Señor Nixon
May 28th, 2008
04:32:27 PM
NOT SINCE 1979...
by DucksNRoses
May 28th, 2008
04:35:46 PM
I'd still rather sit through this
by JackinNYC
May 28th, 2008
04:44:31 PM
REVENGE OF HORSEFACE
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:46:06 PM
Like you could score
by Ghost of Señor Nixon
May 28th, 2008
04:46:19 PM
NEVER GO BACK TO HORSEFACE LAKE
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:46:24 PM
THE HORSEFACE PROPHECIES
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:46:54 PM
CITY FUCKERS 2: THE LEGEND OF HORSEFACE'S GOLD
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:47:58 PM
ok, i'm done
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:48:39 PM
YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE HORSEFACE
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:49:39 PM
MEAT THE HORSEFACE
by turketron
May 28th, 2008
04:50:23 PM
INDIANA JONES VS HORSEFACE!!!
by gotham_night
May 28th, 2008
04:56:46 PM
JackinNYC...you have a point...
by conspiracy
May 28th, 2008
04:59:39 PM
turketron
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
May 28th, 2008
05:03:03 PM
Sarrah Jessica Parker and the Crystal Skull City
by gotham_night
May 28th, 2008
05:03:28 PM
Novaman5000...it actually isn't the promiscuity
by conspiracy
May 28th, 2008
05:07:24 PM
SEX AND THE CITY OF CORUSCANT...EPISODE 1.9
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:08:02 PM
Is it just me...
by conspiracy
May 28th, 2008
05:09:52 PM
LOL conspiracy
by JackinNYC
May 28th, 2008
05:11:52 PM
Seriously, change that fucking headline.
by Kurutteru Yatsu
May 28th, 2008
05:14:14 PM
SEX AND THE CITY OF AIDS... EPISODE 2.3
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:17:35 PM
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF CARRIES SKULL...
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:19:20 PM
Kurutteru Yatsu
by Kizeesh
May 28th, 2008
05:19:46 PM
INDIANA JONES AND THE CONDOM OF DOOM...
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:22:14 PM
Indiana Jones and the old dudes of doom!
by gotham_night
May 28th, 2008
05:22:53 PM
Wow, stop this gay talk
by infinite_zero00
May 28th, 2008
05:25:30 PM
HORNY WHITE BITCHES LOOKING TO GET DICKED DOWN...
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:25:57 PM
KIM CATTRAL AND THE STILL LOOKING FOR A HIT
by gotham_night
May 28th, 2008
05:27:11 PM
KIM CATRELL HAS SEX WITH THE CITY--
by TomBodet
May 28th, 2008
05:27:28 PM
SEX AND THE SAUCERMEN FROM MARS CITY
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:28:34 PM
SOMEONE SHITS THEMSELF?!?
by eoneon
May 28th, 2008
05:28:52 PM
Vern that's some funny shit.
by TomBodet
May 28th, 2008
05:30:01 PM
KIM CATTRAL AND THE WRINKLED COOCHIE...
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:30:17 PM
ORAL SEX AND THE CITY...
by Robo-Obi
May 28th, 2008
05:32:10 PM
KIM CATTRAL AND THE MANNQUIN WAS BETTER
by gotham_night
May 28th, 2008
05:34:23 PM
tasteless title
by Ray Gamma
May 28th, 2008
05:42:22 PM
More Barbie Doll pink than any human can stand
by Utamoh
May 28th, 2008
05:57:45 PM
Vern and Massawyrm 1
by starscream1
May 28th, 2008
05:58:56 PM
Those of you offended by the title...
by Blue_Demon
May 28th, 2008
06:01:14 PM
Thank god I don't have to see this...
by ckane123
May 28th, 2008
06:09:43 PM
Jesus
by Kizeesh
May 28th, 2008
06:31:07 PM
Massawyrm is worse than my father
by merricks14yearoldson
May 28th, 2008
06:31:48 PM
It'd be interesting to read Moriarty's analysis of the SATC film
by BDuncan
May 28th, 2008
06:41:26 PM
Umm...
by Marvinatmiddleage
May 28th, 2008
06:49:25 PM
148 minutes IS NOT TWO AN A HALF HOURS FUCK YOU
by Proman1984
May 28th, 2008
06:59:54 PM
PLEASE DONT MAKE DEALS WITH YOUR GIRLS
by Phategod2
May 28th, 2008
07:15:58 PM
Werewolf Ass Fuck
by Kloipy
May 28th, 2008
07:27:46 PM
Proman1984
by Flying Spaghetti Monster
May 28th, 2008
07:52:19 PM
INTO THE PIT OF THE SHRILL HARPIES
by Jack Colby
May 28th, 2008
07:57:07 PM
As Kevin of the Kevin and Bean show said today...
by Pennsy
May 28th, 2008
08:01:26 PM
And PS:
by Jack Colby
May 28th, 2008
08:05:49 PM
YakMalla
by pr0g2west
May 28th, 2008
08:08:15 PM
"Attractive only to gay men and other women?"
by s00p3rm4n
May 28th, 2008
08:11:15 PM
THE MAN SHOW: THE MOVIE
by TheNorthlander
May 28th, 2008
08:44:00 PM
"Attractive only to gay men and other women!"
by I am Batman
May 28th, 2008
08:59:18 PM
I bet all four ladies...
by mrfan
May 28th, 2008
09:02:53 PM
okay, thats just wrong
by jax9999
May 28th, 2008
09:28:04 PM
PWNED by Vern
by Fleet
May 28th, 2008
09:29:07 PM
how long was the movie?
by Jubba
May 28th, 2008
09:29:32 PM
...and PS
by Fleet
May 28th, 2008
09:31:24 PM
"So it's about three hookers and their mom?" - Brian, FAMILY GUY
by LaserPants
May 28th, 2008
09:36:35 PM
I liked Episode 1.
by Cotton McKnight
May 28th, 2008
09:36:42 PM
Massawrym is one of my favorite AICN reviewers
by Rupee88
May 28th, 2008
09:46:51 PM
pr0g2west/Gopher Controvesy
by YakMalla
May 28th, 2008
09:47:31 PM
for "effeminate" gay men
by Frizzurd
May 28th, 2008
09:52:36 PM
Frizzurd...
by Fleet
May 28th, 2008
09:59:14 PM
INDIANA JONES AND THE SEX AND THE CITY
by Johnno
May 28th, 2008
10:06:40 PM
great fucking review
by deliciouscowbell
May 28th, 2008
10:21:28 PM
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS MORE THAN I WAS KOTCS
by BringingSexyBack
May 28th, 2008
10:22:49 PM
this or spice world?
by El Borak
May 28th, 2008
10:26:11 PM
The Real question is, why have you seen...
by slicer
May 28th, 2008
10:33:03 PM
Dear God, what have I got myself into
by jingle_balls
May 28th, 2008
10:44:00 PM
I would only see this....
by seniorspeilbergio
May 28th, 2008
10:48:23 PM
bluedemon re: title
by necgray
May 28th, 2008
11:15:49 PM
Wait, so how long was it?
by YouAreAllMyBastardChildren
May 28th, 2008
11:22:30 PM
Gotta love Massawyrm reviews!
by br1947
May 28th, 2008
11:23:04 PM
incidentally, I'm neither gay nor suffering from
by necgray
May 28th, 2008
11:26:08 PM
AWWW SHIIIITTT
by thebearovingian
May 28th, 2008
11:28:04 PM
You know...
by seniorspeilbergio
May 28th, 2008
11:29:49 PM
Spice World was a fun film......
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
May 28th, 2008
11:30:37 PM
Redeeming qualities of Star Trek: Insurrection
by TallBoy66
May 28th, 2008
11:47:40 PM
film shoulda had Queen Latiffa in it
by Groothewarrior
May 29th, 2008
12:41:05 AM
That review sucked!
by Motoko Kusanagi
May 29th, 2008
01:14:29 AM
As for the past twenty four hours...
by spectrebeeyatch
May 29th, 2008
02:01:06 AM
This talkback needs to be sent to one of those ranches
by Vern
May 29th, 2008
02:19:36 AM
Oh brother
by gotham_night
May 29th, 2008
02:28:28 AM

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