May I take your order?

March 2nd, 2006 · 721 Comments

It was a night like any other - people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, Go ahead and look at the menu - its in English.

Oh Really?

I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.

Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.

I think Ill have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.

Whats in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?

I was so stunned by the English blunders herein, I had to buy the menu from them. Can you imagine the scene when that happened? Ill never forget it. They couldnt decide whether to be flattered or confused.

The Bcabes connected to the um

Can I get Retchup on the side?

Im not quite that hungry, thanks.

Um Is this vegetarian, then?

I didnt know cucumbers had feet, let alone hooves.

whats with all the verbs? But man, you had me at sweet and sour bone.

Bartender, Ill have the usual!

wow, they love their cowboy meat here.

hold the foliage please.

Am I the only one turned on now? Guys? Anyone?

1 article pot: hometown? what the shit?

the scorn adds that little extra kick.

Nah, I think Ill just have a Papsi.

maybe they should eat more words plum.

Im starting to get nauseous at this point, but Im still laughing. It gets better.

Wow - glad to know there are three ignedients, but what ARE THEY?

Arent these kung fu moves?

Is this like supersizing or what?

Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?

Do I order this or agree with it?

Does anyone order the Strange Flavour of inside Freasure?

man fruit? is that a euphemism?

Double boiled frog for dessert? does that come ala commode?

mordacity: a disposition to biting. Well, I should hope so. Its a PIZZA - does it come in suppository form?

well, then, what the hell is it?

black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date.

Isnt this a show on CBS?

I passed on this.

lol. just pure lol.

how do you numb vegetables? and whats fuck silk? satin?

What happens if I get that to go?

and with that, Im stuffed. Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.

Tags: Manglish

721 responses so far ↓

  • 1 brandon@elbo.ws // Mar 3, 2006 at 8:48 am

    I think my favorite is Strange Flavour of inside Freasure.. I simply cant imagine ordering that.

    Awesome work on the site, we enjoy reading it.

  • 2 eyal // Mar 3, 2006 at 9:29 am

    I love it. Dont stop posting.

  • 3 Anonymous // Mar 4, 2006 at 2:56 pm

    too funny - cant stop laughing - keep it coming!

  • 4 codeman38 // Mar 5, 2006 at 1:22 am

    Mustve been translated by the same person as these menus:

    http://community.livejournal.com/engrish/164141.html

    I guess one should be glad they were only serving sidersts and not west many privates

    (Comment deleted and reposted to make the link clickable, and because I got 四 and 西 mixed up in coming up with my translationin my defense, I was tired.)

  • 5 David // Mar 5, 2006 at 5:01 pm

    Personally, Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole is the one which cracks me up

  • 6 Anonymous // Mar 6, 2006 at 12:24 pm

    It must be a machine translation job.

  • 7 Garrett // Mar 6, 2006 at 12:58 pm

    I managed to restrain myself until you got to Duck bukkake. :-)

  • 8 Anonymous // Mar 6, 2006 at 6:56 pm

    Oh dear I dont know whether I should be furious, cry till no tears are left, or collapse from laughter.

    Those machine translations are terrible! Particularly if you read both languages. Gah! =^P

  • 9 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 8:28 am

    Cowboy Leg, Beautiful Pole if you ask me that sounds like a Brokeback Mountain synopsis.

  • 10 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 8:50 am

    I have not laughed so hard in a very long time!

  • 11 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 11:43 am

    Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
    Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
    Keep makin shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers wont know whats happening.

  • 12 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 12:59 pm

    Oh, this is so not made up. Ive travelled to China for 20 years and this is TYPICAL, though I must admit its a classic example. If you read Chinese (as the previous commenter clearly doesnt), you can see exactly how each of the errors was made. Theyre all perfectly logical, even if the result is unintentionally hilarious.

    Take #1313, Benumbed hot vegetables fries fuck silk. It should read Hot and spicy garlic greens stir-fried with shredded dried tofu. However, the mangled version above is not as mangled as it seems: its a literal word-by-word translation, with some cases where the translator chose the wrong one of two meanings of a word:

    First two characters: ma la meaning hot and spicy, but literally numbingly spicy it means a kind of Sichuan spice that mixes chilies with Sichuan peppercorn or prickly ash. The latter tends to numb the mouth. Benumbed hot is a decent, if ungrammatical, literal translation.

    Next two: jiu cai, the top greens of a fragrant-flowering garlic. Theres no good English translation, so vegetables is just fine.

    Next one: chao, meaning stir-fried, quite reasonably rendered as fries (should be fried, but thats a distinction English makes and Chinese doesnt).

    Finally: gan si meaning shredded dried tofu, but literally translated as dry silk. The problem here is that the word gan means both to dry and to do, and the latter meaning has come to mean to fuck. Unfortunately, the recent proliferation of Colloquial English dictionaries in China means people choose the vulgar translation way too often, on the grounds that its colloquial. Last summer I was in a spiffy modern supermarket in Taiyuan whose dried-foods aisle was helpfully labeled Assorted Fuck. The word si meaning silk floss is used in cooking to refer to anything thats been julienned very thin pommes frites are sold as potato silk, for instance. The fact that its tofu is just understood (sheets of dried tofu shredded into julienne) if it were dried anything else it would say so.

    See?

    Best wishes from an anonymous professor of China studies :-)

  • 13 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 1:06 pm

    I just choked on my own saliva from laughing too hard. I wonder if thats on the menu anywhere?

  • 14 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 4:22 pm

    This is too funny, but I wish I knew Chinese, because the Anon. Prof. is right - its funnier when you can see how it got mistranslated.

    As for the person tired of just seeing how non-English speakers mangle English, check out Hanzi Smatter (www.hanzismatter.com) for examples of American manglings and misuses of Chinese Japanese. (Im not affiliated with that site in any way, just a big fan.)

  • 15 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    The Olive Garden is the only restaurant offically reconized as the shame of Italy. on the commercial pappa comes from the old country, MY ASS, ive eaten 2 day old macaronni and cheese that was better!

  • 16 Dawn // Mar 7, 2006 at 8:22 pm

    I LOVED it!!!!!!! Hahahahaha.

  • 17 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 10:47 pm

    Quote: Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters.

    Welcome to JPEG compression artifacts. Obviously youve never worked much with images, but maybe next time you see something like this you wont look like such a fool.

    Also, this is the funniest Engrish Ive seen in a long time Carbon burns fresh particularly must? Hahaha Thanks for posting.

  • 18 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 11:00 pm

    Heh, and while I was posting, someone else pointed that out. Well, there you go, now youve got two people telling you the same thing, so maybe youll actually believe it. :)

  • 19 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 11:00 pm

    To the anonymous commenter complaining about the haze and square: apparently youre unfamiliar with compression artefacting, as well as with how badly languages can be translated into English if done simply by picking words from a dictionary and hoping.

    Since the latter has been explained, let me give you an incomplete summary of the former: when you take an image with a lot of contrasting colours, and manipulate either the actual size (that is, the dimensions) or the file size (that is, the compression), you sometimes get small but noticeable errors the haze you pointed out is one of the more common expressions of those errors. (Actually you get them even in images with fewer colours, but theyre generally not as noticeable.) Try it yourself: take an image from a digital camera and save it as a JPEG with a low size/quality, then compare the two. Or take a small image and change the dimensions to something larger.

    BTW, the poster afterwards who helpfully explains? Thanks! I was trying to figure out how the hell dry could turn into fuck, and now I know! (The only kanji dictionary I had handy was Japanese, which wasnt helpful in figuring it out.)

  • 20 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 6:09 am

    Reminds me of a couple of things a Spanish cookbook I picked up years ago, with a recipe for Yorkshire Chicken, directing one to brown the chicken in a quarter cup of hot fart, and a machine translation I did a couple of years ago, of a letter in Hungarian, the closing of which was translated into Love, Outhouse, instead of Love, John.

  • 21 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 9:39 am

    The funniest one to me is the STAGHSSD NOODLE, because what the professor posted made a lot of sense, but I dont understand how anything could ever be translated to STAGHSSD.

  • 22 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 10:08 am

    Wow, Last time I checked we lived in the US where we have free speech. So, really if you dont like the page then you dont have to come back. And the Asian community has the same thing for our botching the Asian languages. I, personally love this site and have many friends that like it too, including some Asian friends. I dont see the poster as having a malicious or racists agenda here. Ah, hello, his family is Chinese.
    Anyways, 2 thumbs up Jon, and gold circles to you and yours. :O)

  • 23 Rolando Garza // Mar 8, 2006 at 11:41 am

    Mmmm duck Bukkake. Great find, and great writeup.

  • 24 Soul Ajax // Mar 8, 2006 at 12:15 pm

    Having lived in Thailand before for three years and traveled India for 6 months. I can totally understand about this. However, this is by far the fucking funniest broken English menu ever!

  • 25 Shunra // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:34 pm

    Oh, I laughed so hard I was crying - and blogged your entries in my for-translators blog.

    That has got to be the funniest menu Ive ever seen, far transcending the red whine and its ilk.

    Im wondering about that mountain, though. Ive got this teenage son, you see

  • 26 Emese // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    LMFAO! Thats cool. And getting a bit sexual at the endfuck, rapemmmm LOL

  • 27 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:49 pm

    anonymous professor of China studies, would you please explain every form rape?

  • 28 Poposhka // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    Staghssd Noodle Briliant Its like a menu from The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy.

  • 29 Wing // Mar 8, 2006 at 4:03 pm

    Anon professor is rightall of these are word-by-word translations without context. Someone mechanically went through every word and took the first meaning in the dictionary. Whoever wrote this menu DOES NOT KNOW ENGLISH, AT ALL. Otherwise the word fuck would not appear at all on the menu.

    Rape (pronounced ra-pe) is a type of vegetable. Various rape originally meant rape, prepared in any way you want, i.e., fried with garlic, boiled, etc.

    Interestingly enough: when they say bowel, they do mean bowelwell, intestine, actually. And the frog desert is actually made of a type of frog.

    Spring chicken means a young chicken, by the way.

  • 30 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 4:14 pm

    LOL! LOL! LOL!!! Whew!

  • 31 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 4:36 pm

    My friend lived in China for 2 years and sent me many funny stories of bad English translations. One of my favorites was when he had a bug problem in his apartment. He asked a Chinese co-worker what to buy to get rid of the bugs. His co-worker told him not to worry about it and that he had just the thing to fix the problem. Later that day his co-worker returned with a bottle of bug spray labeled The Monarch of Genocide He really had to queston wether he wanted to spray that stuff around his home.

  • 32 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 9:41 pm

    Burn those machine translators!!! :P But those are hilarious! LOL

  • 33 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 10:35 pm

    Funny stuff. When I lived in China, I often wondered if I could make a living correcting the horrible English on signs at cultural sites. Maybe if that didnt work, I could translate menus, too.

    PS - Dont know if its just me, but that page is in serious need of word-wrap.

  • 34 kinu // Mar 8, 2006 at 11:56 pm

    Truly amazing. Ive seen some pretty poor menu translations in my day, but this certainly takes the duck bukkake I mean, cake.

  • 35 Borimira // Mar 9, 2006 at 4:43 am

    Laughed my head off!!! However, appreciated the poetry of the language Poetry is incredibly difficult to translate into another language of different cultural background, trying to keep the assossiations of both and managing to keep some sense in the process. Appreciated the honest effort too - that is a big detailed menu Whether the effort was successful - well, it made us all laugh, didnt it? Come on guys, say thank you for the serendipity!

  • 36 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 5:35 am

    There is some funny shit on the net these days, but I have not laughed that hard for a while. I had to stop looking at it and come back because I couldnt breathe. Its funny because its a printed menu in a restaurant. Its funny because they dont know any better. Its funny because theyre probably proud of it and would be insulted if someone pointed out mistakes. Its just pure lol. You couldnt make that shit up.

  • 37 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 5:40 am

    Also, if anyone thinks this form of humour is racist, go get a brain. Ive had my foreign language skills laughed at, and although it was insulting, I didnt for a moment feel that it was a racial slur. Just get a brain if you think this is racist humour. lol.

  • 38 butshebites // Mar 9, 2006 at 7:37 am

    first thing i read today, thanks for putting me in irreverent mode, now Im stuck :-)

  • 39 AJ // Mar 9, 2006 at 8:23 am

    Does anybody know what Fuck the salt( beautiful pole) duck chin is?

  • 40 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 8:24 am

    Funniest thing Ive read in years, Paddy

  • 41 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 9:21 am

    These are great!

    I assume cowboy is a bad translation of the Chinese for lamb?

  • 42 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 9:23 am

    the chin is the best part of the duck after all

  • 43 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 10:43 am

    To the author: could you delete that retarded Woooooooo. comment? It ruins the line breaks on the page.

    Thanks,
    Ben

  • 44 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    Got off a plane in Dallas. Went to a Chinese Restaurant. The waitress barely spoke english. It is a buffet and she brings a plate, then leans forward and asks if I would like pussy. I had just come off a plane and my ears were still shot so I asked her to repeat it. She did. All I could say was Uh, no.

    It was later that I realized she wanted to know if I wanted a Pepsi.

  • 45 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    I can laugh at these realizing that their English is much better than my Chinese.
    As someone who owned Japanese cars and motorcycles when they were first brought to the U.S., I can assure you that there were some hilarious mistranslations there.

    I always assumed there was someone back in Japan who, with his one semester of English, said, yes, boss, I can write the instructions for installing that part.

  • 46 Ariel // Mar 9, 2006 at 1:34 pm

    I think what disturbs me the most is the fact that theyre serving Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole, and not simply commenting on Heath Ledgers package

  • 47 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 1:42 pm

    Im glad I wasnt trying to drink something when I read this. This gets a 99.5 . If I followed the rule of ordering only what I recognized, Id have a Coke and the broiled squid. Mmmmmm.

  • 48 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 2:03 pm

    This made me piss my pants, i was lauphing so hard

  • 49 ed // Mar 9, 2006 at 2:08 pm

    Did you notice that, in the second menu item, there is a choice between Fresh Mixed Fruit Salad and Mixed Fruit Salad? And the non-Fresh variety is more expensive? I guess rotting fruit might be a bit more of a delicacy

  • 50 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 2:10 pm

    People should realize that these translations were probably done by some person with an English-Chinese dictionary. Then they wrote it down, and the people at the printing press not knowing any English either, tries to read the sloppy handwriting and so they cant get the spelling right either. So while these are extremely entertaining, you should also realize that very few restraurants in China actually have English menus, and the upper-class ones will have professional translators to make a really good menu, so these occur only once in a while.

    Oh, about the three ingredient thing, You want to know that they are? Youll have to ask, because many Chinese dishes have names like Potroast with 5 ingredients. They are commonly know items to put into that kind of dish in China, so the orginal name assumes the person already know what those ingredients are. And of course the dummy with the dictionary translates it litteraly and doesnt consider people who will need to read the English menu probably also dont know that those ingredients are either.

  • 51 Chris // Mar 9, 2006 at 3:32 pm

    holy fuck! I am sitting in the library shaking and crying. People are looking, staring, and probably pointing. This is GREAT!
    I would like to borrow a small jpeg to point some friends (or non-friendly people who stop by my blog)if thats ok?

    Please post morelike this!

  • 52 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    The guy, or woman, that said this was fake is a proponent of reverse racism. Trying to pick a fight. I know of no other culture that makes more fun of itself and its mistakes and I was raised in Southeast Asia. This person needs to take a chill pill, I think it was #43 on the menu. And if he/she cant translate that fuck offstart trouble back in your own country. I think they tolerate disssention in China about as liberally as you tolerate this posting.

  • 53 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 7:54 pm

    Whats with the letters? (word verificcation)

  • 54 jon // Mar 9, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    had to delete a few comments - some numbnuts posted 3 MEGABYTES of Woooooot after a few others had done nearly the same. Im watching the comments now. More Mangled English coming soon - I have TONS!

    Jon Rahoi

  • 55 BeckoningChasm // Mar 9, 2006 at 10:13 pm

    I laughed so hard at this I nearly punctured a lung. Good stuff.

  • 56 Red A // Mar 9, 2006 at 10:51 pm

    Every Form Rape should be something like All Kinds of Rapeseed (literally oily plant.)

  • 57 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:12 am

    omg!!! This is so damn funny! Those guys really have to go for english classes

  • 58 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:38 am

    A couple of my favorites from China-
    In a shop called Many Girl

    Please do not touch yourself
    Let us help you to do it

    And the main sign of quite a large hospital

    The Arsehole Hospital

    The last has since been changed and now reads The Anal Hospital.

    Keep it up its all fun

  • 59 Lonnie // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:43 am

    Absolutely hilarious. Dave Barry is an amazing source of cultural craziness. Read his book Dave Barry Does Japan for the best book I have read on Japanese culture. Be prepared to laugh yourself hoarse.

    I live on the Chinese mainland and see this kind of thing all the time.

    I agree that this was probably manually translated by someone with the aid of a machine translator. And while I am sure his English is better than my Chinese the guy needs a proof reader.

    I havent laughed this hard since I watched the English subtitled version of Star Wars: http://www.onemanbandwidth.com/wordpress/?p=118

    Nihao from China.

    LON

  • 60 Lonnie // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:45 am

    Wait! You are Dave Barry!

  • 61 Cardinal Dextrous // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:38 am

    Juice of steams the fish mouth

    HAHAHAHA! What? This is genius. Theres a french lemonade called Pschitt (pron. Shit) which I always buy loads of whenever Im over there.

  • 62 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 4:55 am

    Did anyone else notice the fucking blah blah blah Taiwan sausage (3T) THAT MEANS THREE FUCKIN TONS!!! sooo, in conclusion.lo friggin l!

  • 63 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:07 am

    I just laughed so much I cried! Yay to b3ta for linking to you!!

  • 64 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:30 am

    Even the Chinese is not fully accurate at parts. I wonder why they chose to use words that sounds the same rather than actual names.

    E.g, Tuna fish isnt written like that. Theres a Chinese word for it.

  • 65 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:41 am

    I am in High School and I was in class listening to the teacher talk while reading this. At first I disguised the laugh as a cough but twords the end I busted! The teacher was like what the h**l are you looking at. Which made me laugh even more. Thanks!!!!!!

  • 66 PK // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:18 am

    This is hilarious! As if the menu wasnt funny enough, the comments were even funnier.

    Question: There are many references to a menu item called Duck Bukkake, but I cannot find it on the menu; where is it?

    Thanks for the laugh!

  • 67 Jay // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:20 am

    I think I just got a hankering for some rurality salad.

  • 68 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:47 am

    Oh, God, this is hilarious I cant believe they translated the words directly into English

  • 69 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:48 am

    Just one question - what did you actually order?

  • 70 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:49 am

    Just one question - what did you order?

  • 71 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:00 am

    wow.

  • 72 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:00 am

    wow.

  • 73 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:02 am

    Man, I cant recall having laughed that hard, well, ever! You just made my year!

  • 74 Janey // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:15 am

    Id like to order the fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin, but hold the chin. And can I choose the size of my beautiful pole, its been a while. And wont the salt sting?

  • 75 abbyladybug // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:28 am

    Im reading this a second time, and tears are still streaming down my face.

  • 76 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:52 am

    OMG SO FUNNY!!! we have all fallen off our chairs, ellie hyperventilated (twice) and charlie, i, squeeked, once to many a time, kate could not breathe - thank you fo giving us all our lives a purpose, LAUGHTER! heheheheheheheheheheheheheh , ow! my sides hurt

  • 77 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 10:01 am

    Carbon Burns Black Bowel!!

    That sounds like hell!.. for only 3.8

  • 78 Ed W. // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:00 am

    This is the best thing Ive ever seen.

  • 79 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:03 am

    Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
    Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
    Keep makin shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers wont know whats happening.

    GIMME A BREAK. ITS FUNNY AND IN NO WAY DIRECTED TOWARDS RACISM. I WAS NOT OFFENDEDI LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST WET MYSELF. I WOULD LOVE TO TRY COWBOY LEG BEAUTIFUL POLE WITH A SIDE OF DUCK BUKKAKE, PLEASE.

  • 80 Daralis Devon // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:18 am

    OMG
    I havent EVER laughed so hard in my entire lifeI wonder if my schools computers will let us go to this site
    Anyways, thanks for the laughs!

  • 81 Victoria // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:33 am

    Im absolutely wetting myself, i think the comments made by the narrator add an element to it too!!!!! please please please give me more!!!!!!

  • 82 mike // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:39 am

    i just cant stop laughing.
    did they know no english at all cos its the same kind of quality translating as these online translator things

  • 83 Traitorfish // Mar 10, 2006 at 12:29 pm

    Holy Flirking Shnit, thats messed up. how exactly do you fuck the salt?

  • 84 Casey WIllson // Mar 10, 2006 at 12:48 pm

    Oh, Thank you! Having made my own mistakes in learning a foreign language I assure you Im laughing WITH, not AT. Anyone who has offered their underpants as cleaning rags or called a priest a Pimp cannot ever laugh AT.
    But I laughed WITH so much that I couldnt see to read more! This is marked a favorite! Casey

  • 85 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:13 pm

    Great! I am proficient in chinese and english and cant stop laughing at the translation.must be using some online translation service

    thanks for sharing!

  • 86 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:54 pm

    real or fake who cares, it made me laugh and i am sure others also, life is short be happy. words do lose in translation, same for spanish.

  • 87 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:58 pm

    .

    The people that think this posting is racist are silly. You know, if I planned on opening an American restaurant in China I would LEARN SOME CHINESE first. Otherwise, I just might look like a jackass and I would expect some ribbing from the locals when I accidentally mislabel my sausage as roast donkey penis, etc.

    And, yes, I do understand that there are more socioeconomic factors that can hinder language adoption in China, etc. BUT, English is relatively easy to learn and its very accessible. Im not saying that everyone HAS to learn English before coming to America but they certainly SHOULD if they want to eat fuck less cowboy leg strange. And the same goes for Americans tromping around in other countries. Cultural respect is a two-way street.

    - Cowicide (extreme moderate)

    http://iamtv.tv

    .

  • 88 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:07 pm

    Cowboy is not lamb, as one poster suggested, its veal.

    I had my own menu favorites from our years in Japan (such as mashed bee), but this selection is tops!

  • 89 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:11 pm

    Lol. Fuck the salt Is that healthy?

  • 90 Loz // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:21 pm

    Dude. Its so not racist. Stop being so politically correct. I thought it was fecking hilarious. Especially the benumbed hot vegetables fries fuck silk Can carrots even THINK about that kind of stuff!? Lmao. Keep it coming, dudes.

  • 91 Riley // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:21 pm

    COWBOY LEG!

  • 92 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:25 pm

    I think these were all translated by an American who called themself as Chinese Experts, they live in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan and teaching English for living, but most of them cant or only read a little bit of Chinese, according to the list of the menu, they are not tranditional Chinese characters, those Chinese characters were invented by Hong Kong people, you cant find those characters in the Chinese dictionnary,the translation in English are using the word that are not common to any Chinese, I dont think a Chinese person can comes up with this kind of translation. Open your mind and think, if this make sense to you at all. These translation were done by a non-responsible American.

  • 93 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:29 pm

    Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
    Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
    Keep makin shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers wont know whats happening.

    whoever wrote that i have thing to say, who the fuck cares. u gotta admit its funny. u prolly wouldnt think like that if it was some indian restaurant menue with the same mistakes and if it is fake it still made a lot of ppl laugh and thats all that should matter. im half chinese myself and i wasnt thinking for 1 second the person who post this up was racist, its just a joke. He prolly found something funny and just wanted to share this with everybodyso if u dunt want to see shit like this dunt bother coming into sites like this

    anywayz lolthis site honestly made my day

  • 94 Jenni // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:46 pm

    ROFL! This is great! thank you for making my day!

  • 95 :: Rogue :: // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    FRUIT IN EYES!!!

    Brilliant stuff. It looks like the entire thing was run through Babelfish.

  • 96 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    They are just trying to make it easier for you guys. Be nice and dont be so mean on the translation.

  • 97 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    Bukkake is a type of soba noodle, you tools.

  • 98 PoopooLarson // Mar 10, 2006 at 4:21 pm

    I am putting replica manhole covers and sewers in Asia. If you want to send one to Japan, then guess what? Its going to Japan.

  • 99 Rob // Mar 10, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    Im hungry

  • 100 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:22 pm

    Im chinese but grew up in Australia and I could actually read the chinese part of the menu and I find it so hilarious. My entire family is having a ball reading this. When we went to visit in China couple of years back I noticed that alot of places has really bad English translations posted for whatever reason. Is actually very embarrassing because people then think all Chinese people are like that.

  • 101 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:49 pm

    Theres a doomed restaurant space on Phoenixs main avenue that was a West Indian place for a while. I noticed that the menu, which seemed to be entirely composed by native English-speaking restaurant types, featured a mescaline salad. (I have to think they meant mesclun.) On my way out I mentioned it to the waitress and told her they might want to change it. Wow, really, she said. The customer who edited that for us is sitting right there. . .

  • 102 Princess Sarah // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:51 pm

    hilarious!

  • 103 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:57 pm

    Oh my god, oh my god! I cant stop laughing

  • 104 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:10 pm

    fuck the salt? those are so funnay i havent laughed so hard in a long time, awesome job on making these

    about the cowboy legs, the chinese version meant cow boy but they put it together and thats whatmakes it funny

  • 105 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:27 pm

    this didnt make me laugh at all, this was shit

  • 106 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:49 pm

    to bad that every resturant in the world didnt have to acomindate every other language. You stupid white people think its so easy to know English. Try learning a different language and write a book. I bet you couldnt do it without messing up.

  • 107 Jem // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:59 pm

    I also want to know what you ordered!

  • 108 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 8:05 pm

    You might want to share your find with:

    http://www.engrish.com/

  • 109 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 8:11 pm

    This must surely be from a restaraunt in Qingdao. Or somewhere else in the Shenzen kind of area.

    Worth noting that the translations are , from a Chinese point of view, almost completely literal.

    Chinese people could make no more sense of, say, Scotch Egg or Spotted Dick, than we could make of some of their foods.

    They do a much better job of writing english than I ever could chinese. But it is still hilarious.

  • 110 Schizohedron // Mar 10, 2006 at 8:58 pm

    Friggin classic example of Engrish. Even better than the fugazi subtitles on the Episode III bootleg from some months back. And anonymous haters can go to hell.

  • 111 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:27 pm

    I cant breath propely anymore I thank you gave me asthma from laughing so much - worth it

  • 112 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 10:20 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHHHA OMG OMG I NEED TO GO TO CHINA!!!

    LMAO!!!

    -Cesar

  • 113 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 10:45 pm

    ROFLMAO!!! I wet myself!

    WTF is sparerib or Colour`s world???
    Big Bowl white of immerses three pill WTF???
    Qiet Lady???

    Lthick mordacity - a thick opposition to biting - What I feel about the rest of the menu

    Burning Pi

  • 114 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:10 pm

    oh my gosh my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. that was awesome. shoot me now i cant stop laughing. thanks
    misty

  • 115 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 12:32 am

    Thank you! :) I laughed so hard (2AM here) that I woke my daughter! I tucked her back into bed and I had to post a comment here!

    Im Chinese living in USA. I speak and write Chinese and have parents living with me that to this day translates their thoughts from Chinese to English word for word. We have many laughs in our house here because of that. Lifes too short. Learn to laugh, especially at ones self. :) Itll make a happier life. Heck, if Im Chinese and dont find this offensive, why should anyone else. :P

  • 116 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 2:01 am

    Sidrsts is actually what we Americans call French Toast. The Chinese is West toast (or Western Toast). Do-si is the Cantonese transliteration for toast.

    A geng is a thick soup (as opposed to tong, a broth-based soup).

    I dont get how cowboy leg got into 5001. If you compare it to cowboy leg in the 3rd graphic, its completely different.

  • 117 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 3:49 am

    I think these were all translated by an American who called themself as Chinese Experts, they live in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan and teaching English for living, but most of them cant or only read a little bit of Chinese, according to the list of the menu, they are not tranditional Chinese characters, those Chinese characters were invented by Hong Kong people, you cant find those characters in the Chinese dictionnary,the translation in English are using the word that are not common to any Chinese, I dont think a Chinese person can comes up with this kind of translation. Open your mind and think, if this make sense to you at all. These translation were done by a non-responsible American.


    Whoever said this is a HUGE idiot that cant deal with a bit of laughter. If it was somebody who was a native English speaker, they would have KNOWN these translations were wrong because they wouldnt make sense in their own language. Obviously its somebody who doesnt know any English

  • 118 icelava // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:42 am

    http://engrish.com/

  • 119 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:44 am

    I havent laughed this hard in years.

  • 120 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:45 am

    I havent laughed this hard in years.

  • 121 teph // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:54 am

    hey anoymous dude
    you know, they do the same in china, making fun of foreigners for their chinese
    eg bank of china, thought it was china is very good (only a bit of difference) also, i highly doubt its a fake. there are stupid things out there in the world, waiting to be laughed at.

    anyway, those must be the most screwed up translations ever. Sure, ive seen pirated discs on the back with a completely different blurb to the cd, (side dish of bad spolling included) but who would put the word fuck in a menu?

  • 122 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:54 am

    I think Cowboy Leg, Beautiful Pole should be Ang Lees next film. You could call it Brokeback Mountain meets Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon!

  • 123 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 9:28 am

    Yo Mama Cracker Fishfuck

  • 124 Gina Cobb // Mar 11, 2006 at 11:24 am

    Linked at:

    Worlds Worst Chinese Menu Translation

    Thanks for the hilarious post!

  • 125 blogagog // Mar 11, 2006 at 11:36 am

    On an unrelated note Does anyone know where I can find some pretty salt?

  • 126 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 11:58 am

    The poor restaurant owner (most likely doesnt know a word of English) translated the Chinese menu word for word literally with a Chinese-English dictionary, hoping to get some English speaking customers. The profit they made on you, say $0.20 max, is not even close to the entertainment they provided for you and your friends. Have you considered going back there and giving them some money? Or helping them with the translation, now youve gotten lots and lots of laughs out of it?

    I think it is dead funny too. Im not offended as an Asian-American, like white trashes are not offended by My name is Earl. Talking about that, I think from karma perspective, you need to do something for that restaurant. Be a decent man and go back there and translate the menu for them, ok? Or your Chinese is not good enough to do that.

  • 127 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 12:33 pm

    im laughing and crying so hard, i scared my cat away. thanks for making my day!

  • 128 Lugubert // Mar 11, 2006 at 2:21 pm

    Four years later, I still regret that I didnt buy the cook-book in Swedish that I found in Greece.

    Take out your liver, wash it and cut it into small pieces.

    So you dont have to travel very long to find things affecting your appetite.

  • 129 Fiona Dudley // Mar 11, 2006 at 5:18 pm

    Two for the price of one - not only was this hysterically funny, its a real learning opportunity.I dont know darn of Chinese, but it was obvious that somehow, someone or some software program was attempting to translate idiomatic expressions into literal English. Trying to decipher that process is worth much more than the laughs. And I am sure that if I attempted to translate any English into any other language, the results would be just as outrageous and I would be laughing at my own attempts right along with the native speakers.

  • 130 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 7:05 pm

    Every Form Rape? Thats not a food, thats a sex crime
    This is sooo funny - better than the Italian Laundry notice that said Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having fun.

  • 131 jackalsandjays // Mar 11, 2006 at 7:46 pm

    Man fruit braise the north almond either has to be a line from a Robert Bly poem, or a coded message from a terrorist group. Either way, Ill have a steamin heap!
    Hey, its not just the Chinese who have trouble with English syntax. There was a sign up in Hopkins, Minnesota for years on a candy manufacturing co. that read People needed in December to pack fudge. Lets see THEIR menu!
    Finally, Ive seen this fuck thing in Chinatown in NYC plenty of times, sometimes scratched out by humorless fun-police visting the neighborhood. You poor people that cant laugh, go chew on a duck chin!

  • 132 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:05 pm

    Please forgive me, but I live way back in the woods and I dont know what lol means. I get everything else. And, godamighty, am I hungry now!

  • 133 jon // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:19 pm

    Hi all - thanks for the comments!

    to answer some questions, I had the Sheep Leg New Zealand and some form of Staghssd Noodle. A bunch of us shared steaks, too. It was quite good. My wife got Carbon Burns the Black Bowel. Yes, it was just as gross as it sounds.

    The restaurant was called Edinburgh Western Chinese Restaurant. Its in Foshan, which is in the south of China. Famous for kung fu and now, for this.

    As for offering to help them translate the menu - they honestly dont care. I wouldnt be surprised if they had never had an English speaker in there before me. They do it to keep the appearance of being a western restaurant. But it matters little to them. Food is the true international language.

    For those of you who like this kind of thing, Ive taken TONS of these kind of pics in my travels, and some are just as funny. Please look around - i have gathered some of them here.
    And of course, I have a few hundred more Mangled English (aka Manglish) pics that I havent even posted yet - stay tuned!

  • 134 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    I was born with blocked tear ducts and never cried before Not until reading this. This is honestly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life.

  • 135 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:26 pm

    Racist? Hell no. I lived over there for a year and a half, and the mistranslations are all over there.

    The Fuck ones are, admittedly, a little hard to figure, but for the most part, the translation looks almost right. Well, almost in that really fucked up way.

  • 136 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 10:12 pm

    i am chinese. this is fake, all the translations by man are wrong.

  • 137 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 2:08 am

    Every form rape? Dude, the entire menu is great! Where the hell did you find this?

  • 138 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:09 am

    I am not chinese, but I also frown on all of mankinds inability to translate.

  • 139 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:38 am

    haha, the translation is funny,right? As a Chinese student,i cant help laughing at those automatic translations either.
    However, i am doing a research on how to put Chinese menu into English correctly.
    I think you might interest in Chinese food. Well Would you recommend some website to me? I greatly appreciate your help. ^_^

    Nicole
    littlequin@hotmail.com

  • 140 Craig // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:20 am

    I find it as mind boggling and as enchanting as Pi itself

    (it didnt really say Duck Bukkake did it???)
    Shit like this makes me happy to be alive :D

    Hmmmmm Pi/Pie..Circles..the circle of life from a birth to a death, all I look for in life, is happyness (Pie)
    The planets appear circular from one perspective/distance every energy cannot vanish, only change, all life forms are made of the same things, everything relies on everything else

    awwww I wish clever people would hurry up and work out the universe so I could know everything before I croak.

    Ignorance = depression, depression = comfort eating comfort eating = Pie :D

    Pi is everything, everything is Pi
    nothing is anything
    everything is something.

    Duck Bukkake hahahahahaha
    (fuckin sheet iron? quality post!)

    http://www.craig-mansfield.co.uk/diary.html

  • 141 Craig // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:26 am

    and.

    I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language.

    Oh the irony :D
    Calm doon, sell frog leg, and stop bullying Korea.

    (and the word freakin isnt English, its American English (which is something of an oxymoron in my opinion) so your mastery of the English Language still needs some work, Brian..or whatever name youve chosen to mask the fact that youre actually called Hung which is another irony as youre Chinese, and not :D
    hahaha)

    wa wa wahhhhhhhhhhh hahaha

  • 142 Craig // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:29 am

    AND

    apparrenly Im a lovely puff

    Lovely Puff from Hong Kong!

  • 143 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:34 am

    the message is clear: if you cant read chinese, go eat somewhere else, whitie.

  • 144 Roberto // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:50 am

    Ok its slightly funny but not that funny.
    Ger over yourselves, people!

    (not you, them)

  • 145 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 11:22 am

    Ill have the cowboy leg beautiful pole, please.

  • 146 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 1:19 pm

    every form rape gets my vote.

    im reminded at this point of a local restaurant of our own its english speaking and everything, but one of the things on the menu is the now infamous wiener schnitzel. one of the side orders is the creamy poundies. i reckon that if you can order a wiener schnitzel with creamy poundies without laughing in the waiters face, you dont have to pay for it.

  • 147 GacktLover // Mar 12, 2006 at 2:22 pm

    EVER FORM RAPE!!! WOOO!!! LMAO!!!!

  • 148 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    oh my god. I just died. That was too funny. lol

  • 149 Jass // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!

    I have a Chinese menu with only one error.. instead of Hunan Shrimp, the printed error reads Human Shrimplol! This still does not compare!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Jass

  • 150 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    Im sure it says something terrible about my sense of humor, but I love this sort of thing. I love it even more when I make the mistake myself. Once when I was visiting Germany I got hopelessly lost. Fortunately, I had a map. Unfortunately, I couldnt find any street signs (theyre on the buildings, not on separate poles like in the US). Finally I found one. Rescused! Unfortunately, I couldnt find it on the mapafter a longish period of looking, I thought more about what the sign actually said: EinbahnstrasseOne (something I didnt recognize at the time) streetOh: one way street. I laughed so hard at myself I nearly fell over. Fortunately, my hysterical laughter attracted a friendly English speaker who oriented me. I still cant believe I fell for the old tourist writes down the name of the street shes staying on from a sign outside her hotel, only to find out that the sign said one way street trick. Im probably just lucky that I didnt follow the signs to the famous town of Umleitung.

  • 151 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 5:07 pm

    Its very common that even Chinese dont know the meaning of the dishes names without pictures since they often have so literally beautiful names. Forget the name, just watch the picture and the stuffs, watch out garlic and pepper if you dont like them.

    BTW,the street signs in Germany are always by the crossings, not even on the Buildings.

  • 152 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    A friend of mine sent me the website address and I personally think that it is brilliant I honestly could not stop laughing, really funny. do you have anymore

  • 153 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:22 pm

    That was awesome, thank you!! By the way, Im Chinese myself but grew up in the States. I LOVE mistranslations =)

  • 154 anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:23 pm

    That was awesome, thank you!! By the way, Im Chinese myself but grew up in the States. I LOVE mistranslations =)

  • 155 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:29 pm

    I´ll have a fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin´with a Coca Cocawith a cowboy stick, thanks.

    LOL

    LMAO!!

    HAHAHAHAHA

    GREAT!!!

  • 156 Matt // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:48 pm

    I swear to you, I have not laughed this hard in years.

  • 157 Lyn // Mar 12, 2006 at 11:01 pm

    personally I find all the whitie comments offensive. whats up with that guys? cant you be above this? if you dont like it, fine, I wasnt real wild about the menu either. Im a half breed myself and didnt particularly find it funny, but it also wasnt offensive. But honestly, you think calling people whitie is gonna solve anything? arent you doing exactly to us what you hate??? get over it, I did.

  • 158 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 1:12 am

    the concept is older than jesus riding a dinosaur, but some of that had me laughing to the point of tears! im crying for the first time in a very long time!

  • 159 MM // Mar 13, 2006 at 1:52 am

    Ohthis is heartily brilliant.

    I can only add to it by letting you know that Restaurant Number 13, at (shock of shocks) 13 Ngo Duc Ke Street, in Ho Chi Minh City, is a seafood restaurant that features fried crap on its menu.

    Having lived here a while, I suspect that its either fried carp or fried crab, but honestly, Im too scared to ask.

  • 160 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 3:27 am

    Upper-class English pronunciation explains some of the mistranslation - the long a sound in glass and grass (as if spelt glahss and grahss) has been mistakenly added to fat (making fart) which upper-class English would pronounce fet (approximately).

  • 161 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:36 am

    I hate to be a pain in the ass but Im going to agree with that last Anonymous. This was funny but it is a form of racism. Whoever translated this menu, they did a whole lot better than I would have if I tried to translate a diner menu into Mandarin.

  • 162 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:54 am

    Damn, this was hard to read and the laughing + tears did not help at all, great work :)

  • 163 RandomDNA // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:12 am

    5001 to 5004s english translation is shifted by one. So the chinese in 5001 corresponds to the english for 5002 and so on. 5005 has no translation into english, since 5006 has the correct translation. The infamous cowboy leg beautiful pole is probably a translation of the item that came before 5001, which is veal leg BBQ by the way. As already explained cowboy leg is really veal leg. beautiful is the chinese mei, which is also the the abbreviated form of america in chinese, especially in adjectives. The word pole probably came from the chinese for style. So beautiful pole refers to american style, which since the 90s has came to be synonymous with BBQ. So Cowboy leg beautiful pole is most likely: Veal leg BBQ

  • 164 Planty // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:28 am

    To the people who think this site is racist - you are sad, humourless retards. Laughing at badly translated english is not racist and if you think so you obviously dont understand the meaning of the word.

    I find it amusing when people tell Jon to: try learning chinese if you think its easy and you should get yourself some chinese friends and learn about there culture before mocking them When he lives in China, with a chinese wife and speaks there language perfectly!

    Sorry for the length, girth, width of this post

  • 165 John Stone // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:48 am

    That is screamingly funny I posted a link on my blog this morning .

  • 166 A // Mar 13, 2006 at 8:12 am

    LMAO!! This is so ridiculous, Im shaking my head thinking this cant be real?!. And every form rape? Whoever they paid to print up their menus mustve been laughing hysterically.

  • 167 Simon Ayesse // Mar 13, 2006 at 2:40 pm

    oh my goodness this is just too much fun. i love mistranslations and linguistic misadventure.

    as other comments have already alluded, i do feel rather sad for people who dont have a sense of humor about language and communication.

    i know a joke thats been stuck in my head for about twenty years now, because it is ONLY funny in french try it in any other language, and it cant be done. and yet, for the rest of my days, ill chuckle at the thought of an austrian trying to buy an airplane ticket to get out of paris

    racist? whatever. i have more fun laughing at myself than i do at anybody ive ever met. that joke i cant forget? its not funny to me because the austrian is a jerk, or because the parisian clerk is so anxious to get rid of him its FUNNY to me because the twist of language truly cramps my US-made brain.

    and, having been raised here in the states, i have to say that most of my favorite mistranslations are still stupid things we americans have carried to other countries in our wonderful attempts to be cosmopolitan

    I am a jelly doughnut, anybody? and i think weve all heard the one about why chevrolet could not seem to sell their famous Nova in mexico? in fact, i seem to recall an absolutely hysterical advertising campaign, when coca-cola first tried to make a big push into china

    you get the idea. or at least, some of you do. and for the rest:

    CANT TAKE A JOKE?
    YOU COULD BE SUFFERING FROM IRONY-POOR BLOOD.
    TRY NEW ONE-A-DAY PLUS IRONY

    peace,
    -simon
    a.k.a. simon says

  • 168 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    its been said many times, but it can never be said TOO many times. ANYBODY who thinks this is racist is retarded and unable to separate the idea of something being humorous from having actual maliscious feelings toward someone. More than that, they obviously havent experienced ACTUAL racism before. The way the translation sounds to english speakers is whats funny, not look how stupid this translator is (at least for me, and I think most people here). I can only hope that when I make mistakes in the other languages i speak, people can get as much amusement out of it.

    Bottom line: LIGHTEN UP PEOPLE.

    to the person/people who say get over youselves- I think you need to direct that line to yourself. Youre taking it waaay too seriously

  • 169 miken // Mar 13, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    Breathtaking! I love a good bad translation.

  • 170 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:18 pm

    Frucking phunny.

  • 171 Luís // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:34 pm

    Absolutely hilarious stuff!! Almost died laughing! And the Drinks (Coca Coca and Sprit)and comment are awsome. What do we need extra ingnidients for?

    Brilliant!!!!!!!!! Loved it!

  • 172 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 6:03 pm

    That was just amazing.
    I hope I get to see more.

  • 173 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    I can understand this as everyday occurrences in Mainland China, but I cant understand how they can have misspelled so many words such as Coca Cola and Sprite because translation programs dont misspell words, and dictionaries dont have fuck as its first definition for 干 @_@

  • 174 chris tucker // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:48 pm

    We think youre all so frickin whitewashed that you dont see it as even a lil bit racist. How about we re-do this with the jewish, spanish, german, or african languages.

    Please, dont tell me to lighten up. If it wasnt for ppl that didnt stand up for you kowtowing, Yessuh, Me want no trouble asses, you think you would like America as much as you do now?

    We hope THE MAN keeps you down you sellout bootches!

  • 175 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 8:18 pm

    This is about the funniest thing Ive ever seen. I think it was a nice gesture on the part of the restaurant owners to at least try to welcome foreign customers (few enough American restaurants go to that effort), although their translator should perhaps be forced to drink the big bowl immerses miscellaneous germ. Thanks for putting it on, with a good sprinkling of sarcasm to boot. I couldnt stop laughing! Who needs to work out anymore? Thanks to Rahoi.com, I have abs of steel!

  • 176 Tom 7 // Mar 13, 2006 at 8:31 pm

    glonous

  • 177 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 9:58 pm

    hell that was funny as hell fuck the salt

  • 178 max // Mar 13, 2006 at 9:59 pm

    Thanks for posting this gem, and thanks to the helpful anonymous commentators for helping me understand whats going on! The hardest Ive laughed alone in as long as I can remember

  • 179 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 12:26 am

    OMG, that was sooooo effin funny! Please keep your racist sense of humor, and continue to belittle other ethnic groups, and their attempt at learning english! I mean really, I think you are just. So. Funny! You know what would be hilarious is if you wrote out a menu in english, and attempted to translate it into Chinese calligraphy. What hilarity would ensue!! Total spasmatic chuckling from every orifice. Meanwhile, why stop with just the Chinese? I think you should post something humorous, and entertaining about Jews, and African Americans. Better yet, post something funny about some white guy - yknow, like those beheadings. oh wait, thatd ONLY be funny to some Iraqi dudes.

    Humor is relative. Dont breed stereotypes, misconceptions, and hate. M-Fers like you breed it. M-Fers giving you props here are too ignorant to realize otherwise.

    ~Peace.

  • 180 HighKnee // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:01 am

    Waiter, I would like to order the strange flavoured bone, please!

  • 181 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 6:26 am

    I believe the rurality salad is garden salad. I would guess what happened is that these salads are common US restaurant salads, with the names translated to Chinese, then translated back to English. Something was lost in the process, so it seems.

  • 182 Shaffer // Mar 14, 2006 at 8:06 am

    The forest frog is fallopian tubes of a kind of frog. Its from frogs indeed!

    Add a peaceful is from transliteration of Galliano.

    Beautiful Pole is the brand of the sauce, I guess.

    STAGHSSD is the misspelling of spaghetti.

    sidersts should be French Toast.

    But I cannot figure out why the high-grade Shaoxing wine changed into Good to eat mountain yet.

  • 183 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 8:26 am

    FAKE! They can make mistakes, but not this much. What building is in the background?

  • 184 John Vinson // Mar 14, 2006 at 8:43 am

    Very funny! My late father brought home a book from China, entitled Correctly English In Hundred Day - maybe the menu translator studied from a modern edition!

    Im sure that many of us would make equally hilarious mistakes translating into Chinese, of course!

  • 185 me // Mar 14, 2006 at 9:15 am

    delicious fuck articock and kings pole white sauce shoot sky

  • 186 rekiwi // Mar 14, 2006 at 10:58 am

    As far as fakes, the boxes around the text are called JPEG artifacts. They are a result of JPEGs lossy compression, not inept Photoshopping.

    As far as racism, everyone is effectively a retard in a language they dont speak. (Sorry, PC Police! I should say a low-functioning individual.) Why not highlight and celebrate our shared ineptitude rather than preach and posture?

    Theres a reason why Mrs. Malaprops name has been enshrined in the English language. Its damned funny. Anyone who doesnt laugh at Man fruit braise the north almond is taking life, and themselves, way too seriously.

  • 187 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 11:40 am

    These are fake. There is no correlation to the chinese characters. One translation says mountain, there is no character for mountain which is easy because it looks like a W. Try harder guys.

  • 188 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 12:22 pm

    And this is what happens when people get translation jobs based on guanxi (connections), and not the actual ability to translate !!!

  • 189 Y. R. 言念平 // Mar 14, 2006 at 1:23 pm

    I had to stop reading halfway through because my rib cage started to hurt from the laughingwill come back when I recover a bit.

    This is totally not intentional. No one could be that clever.

  • 190 Theadeaus // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:09 pm

    At least these have the excuse of machine traslations. not like when in Spanish Class when we went to a spanish restaurant and i tried to order chili con carne and said leche con carne. the looks i got then I think i could have hidden behind a salt shaker by that point!

    Also i do not speak or read chinese but i do watch a lot of translated cooking shows from japan and china. Beautiful Pole i think may refer to bean sprouts which have the root and leaf removed and they are said to look like the staff of the monkey king. and are also called the complaint vegitable. but Beautiful Pole would sound like a plausible translation of the descriptor of the ingredient.

  • 191 Theadeaus // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:33 pm

    to the person that said

    These are fake. There is no correlation to the chinese characters. One translation says mountain, there is no character for mountain which is easy because it looks like a W. Try harder guys.

    try using a charachter translater sometime

    they are all over the net
    you know this thing you are on now?

    that is the traditional charachter for Mountain pass. specifically narrow ones. whihc means it is more than likely mountain vegitables from a pass. or the dish is reminicent of one.

    honestly did you think thier language is that simple that only the Chahracter for generic mountian would be the only one

    How about the names of some of the sacred mountains like Kwonlon or maybe a specific mountian in a famous range (which is what i searched for first)

    as it is i found the right charachter on just plain old Mountain in entries of the translators i found which gives the simple and traditional

    http://www.mandarintools.com/chardict.html

    Please actually try before slamming someone.

  • 192 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    not in the slightest bit funny, go translate some chinese see what you come up with f**kwit

  • 193 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 3:48 pm

    holy crap, thats funny! Whether or not it was made up

    There used to be an Asian restaurant round here called the Poo Ping Palace (dont think they got much business).

    As for being racist, are we supposed to be so pc we cant laugh anymore? I sure hope there are people in other countries laughing at bad english-to-whatever translationswhy should we have all the fun? How bout Chevy tryin to sell a car in Latin America called the Novano va?

  • 194 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 5:24 pm

    Bwa! Thats pretty fantastic. It reminds me of some of the horrifyingly funny things I said in french while I lived there. I was the walking comedy troop for my french friends. :)

  • 195 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 6:05 pm

    This is what happens when people use babelfish or Words built-in translator!

  • 196 Vinny // Mar 14, 2006 at 6:46 pm

    Waiterwhat comes with the every form of rape?

  • 197 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 7:35 pm

    Im laughing so hard, Im crying and coughing at the same thime, my dog is getting very worried about me. Ive never read anything so funny! Will pass it on and on and on!

  • 198 R2K // Mar 14, 2006 at 8:14 pm

    Pretty funny :)

  • 199 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 9:07 pm

    LOL Is good to eat mountain. Fuck the salt, tastes better without

  • 200 The Intrepid Dr. Root // Mar 14, 2006 at 10:41 pm

    OMG I nearly died. I havent laughed that good in a LOOOOOOOOOONG time.

  • 201 fet // Mar 14, 2006 at 11:26 pm

    I once signed a gift to my Japanese roommate in Japanese as follows: If I do anything weird in my sleep, please rape me. :D

  • 202 Jan Wiklund // Mar 15, 2006 at 3:11 am

    All people laugh at each others bad translations. Nothing racist in that, just the way humour is. Here is a Danish one about Chrysler Building: http://politiken.dk/VisArtikel.iasp?PageID=207792

  • 203 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 3:56 am

    I find it somewhat amusing (in a sad sort of way) that one of the people berating the O.P. for racism and cultural insensitivity referred to the Jewish language and the African language. Doh.

    Anyway, I think all of you who are crying racism! really need to consult a dictionary of the plain old English-to-English variety. For something to be racist, it must necessarily involve some form of generalization based on race - e.g. Chinese people are stupid. A statement about an individual event, person, or thing (e.g. This particular Chinese menu is badly translated) without any correlation whatsoever made between the qualities of the thing, person, or event under discussion and its associated race has nothing racist about it, and I have no doubt that any of the people reading this would find it just as funny if it had been translated from Hebrew, Swahili, Swedish, Georgian, or Basque. No one is laughing at Chinese people; we are laughing at one particular Chinese menu, and anyone who is offended by that is really trying far too hard to find offense where none exists.

    Incidentally, this is the funniest thing Ive read in weeks. Thanks for the laughs! :)

  • 204 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 4:35 am

    Wow, Last time I checked we lived in the US where we have free speech. So, really if you dont like the page then you dont have to come back. And the Asian community has the same thing for our botching the Asian languages. I, personally love this site and have many friends that like it too, including some Asian friends. I dont see the poster as having a malicious or racists agenda here. Ah, hello, his family is Chinese.
    Anyways, 2 thumbs up Jon, and gold circles to you and yours. :O)

    I dont live in the US. Am I doing something wrong?

  • 205 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 6:56 am

    This is, quite simply the funniest freakin thing Ive read in a loooonnng time. As others have said, Ive made my own mistakes in another language, and had the grace to laugh at myself.
    To all those who think this is racist: Fuck the salt and get over it.
    tigerowl

  • 206 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 8:21 am

    (quote:)
    We think youre all so frickin whitewashed that you dont see it as even a lil bit racist. How about we re-do this with the jewish, spanish, german, or african languages.

    Please, dont tell me to lighten up. If it wasnt for ppl that didnt stand up for you kowtowing, Yessuh, Me want no trouble asses, you think you would like America as much as you do now?

    We hope THE MAN keeps you down you sellout bootches!
    # posted by chris tucker : 7:48 PM
    (end quote)

    Has it occurred to you that this internet thing might have been switched on in other places, too?

    And if its offensive to laugh at unintentionally funny things, prepare to suffer, cause your post treads a thin border between being quite offensive and just plain funny in its utterly misguided absurdity.

    If you actually had the horizon to visit places, youd find that this stuff IS DONE with German, Spanish, and probably Hebrew and African languages (though I havent encountered those yet). All the time.

    Nobody is offended who has the brain to realize that this sort of stuff simply happens once you leave your monocultural little podunk backwater.

    This is as offensive as pointing out that people fart. Fact of life. Some find it funny (some hilariously so), and the others can just fuck off.

    -chris.

  • 207 Dreaming Mage // Mar 15, 2006 at 8:27 am

    A Mexican brought me a floodlight package and asked me in confusion what was in it.

    I noted that the Spanish labeling said there was Luz de Libre. Someone who doesnt speak Spanish used a dictionary rather carelessly. Libre mean free as in at liberty, not free of charge. So the package said there was a free-range lamp inside.

    Mage

  • 208 L-E Morin // Mar 15, 2006 at 10:28 am

    If theres something wrong with publishing this menu, its doing it without giving the poor restaurant people a chance to correct their mistake. Mr. Rahoi doesnt tell us if he did.

    Myself Im a translator from English to Swedish and I see quite a few US and British websites machine translated into Swedish. The worst typically come from the free translator of InterTran, a British company, and they are easily recognized since their Swedish vocabulary is mixed up with Norwegian. But the results are not much better with Systran, the expensive #1 product for machine translation, if the users dont know the target language. When they know, they can use it for a raw translation and then polish it themselves.

    Whenever I get to laugh at one of those ridiculous translations, afterwards I tell the webmaster he should fix it. Or simply have the Swedes use their knowledge of English.

    Regards,

  • 209 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 10:55 am

    Sour and sweet bonehehe.
    Thats wayyy too random to make up.

  • 210 Cernovog // Mar 15, 2006 at 11:03 am

    It is funny, but it is also a perfect example of the very sad state of foreign language instruction throughout Asia.

    What many posters dont realize is just how complex the situation is. Im saddened by ignorant comments like English is relatively easy to learn and its very accessible.

    I cant begin to tell you how far from reality this is and I hope and pray that the majority of readers arent this naive.

    On the contrary, English is one of the most difficult languages to learn with exceptions to every rule, multiple conjugations, homonyms and multiple spellings.

    I certainly dont find this post racist or offensive, and I appreciate the unintentional humor, but there is a subtle racism here as illustrated by comments like: Im not saying that everyone HAS to learn English before coming to America but they certainly SHOULD.

    Uh correct me if Im wrong, but I was under the impression that the restaurant is in CHINA. So the poster is a guest in a country in which he is illiterate. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I wonder where Cowicide stands now that his/her high horse has swiftly been removed.

    The English translation on the menu was well meaning gift to visitors. Unfortunately, they simply used word substitution from a Chinese/English dictionary and through luck of the draw, picked the worst possible word in every situation.

    One of the problems is the lack of teachers. Schools have to settle for teachers whose mastery of the language is less than stellar. How often does the student surpass the teacher? Especially when the teacher cant even tell the student what theyre doing wrong?

    Before native English speakers go around bashing Asians for their poor language skills, perhaps you should look at the state of language instruction in the United States or other English-speaking countries.

    There are very few foreign languages offered and in most cases they arent offered until junior high school or high school well beyond the optimum age for learning foreign language (which is about 5 years old).

    America is rich nation. Imagine what the problem is like in a less fortunate country.

    Believe me, I see the humor in a menu that lists cowboy leg and every form of rape. It is funny. But these are not mistakes because people are stupid or lazy. Its a problem in many, many countries.

    Next time you go to a school board meeting or when you are trying to decide what school to send your child to, ask what age the district begins funding foreign language instruction. I challenge you to find one that begins in elementary school.

    Now whos ignorant?

  • 211 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 11:41 am

    that kept me laughing all the way through, a proper classic

  • 212 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 1:26 pm

    I saw something like this in a Chinese in resturant in Chile. I laughed so much I idnt think of getting one of the menus. I wish I had. Keep posting stuff like this. It had me in tears!

  • 213 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 2:47 pm

    That is the funniest thing Ive read in months. I laughed until I cried.

  • 214 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Ok, there are some funny mistakes in this menue. But Mr Funnyguy (I suppose US-American?) made one big mistake: taking for granted that the rest of the world should be perfect in his mother tongue. Just a little proposal: why dont you try to translate just a single English word into Chinese, smarty pants?

  • 215 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 9:34 pm

    Prince Edward County elementary school, Va, has spanish from Kindergarten.

  • 216 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    Reading the menu, I wished I knew even a tiny bit of Chinese so I could figure out where the mixups occurred. Many thanks to the experts who explained it!

    A couple of people have mentioned the story of the Chevy Nova, which is an urban legend (see http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.asp if you dont believe me).

    However, I do have a real example of an amusing Spanish mistranslation. A few years ago, my husbands younger brother was learning Spanish in preparation for a church mission. My husband and I already spoke Spanish and wrote to him (in Spanish) that we were planning a trip to Portland. He wrote back asking if we were going to ride in a car or housefly. Clearly, hed translated word for word from a dictionary.

    By the way, my husband once asked for worms (gusanos) when he wanted green peas (guisantes).

  • 217 Anonymous // Mar 15, 2006 at 11:55 pm

    Its really funny. I m still laughing. Except sharing the bloody funny menue, have you ever tried to help the owner to improve this menue? I think if you do that, you also help a lot of English speakers who ganna to do travelling in China. Especially you married Chinese wife.

    I think difinately you are a really humorous person and its fun. I like it!!But please do something more helpful!!Not just laughing at the menue. That will be perfect.

  • 218 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 2:34 am

    This is hilarious. Thanks a lot for posting; in return I would like to offer something myself:

    I live in Germany and usually take the train to work. This morning the conductor announced on the speaker: Frau Shtephany Morrow, please come to the information point in wagon 10, it licked informations for. (If you do understand German, you even understand what he tried to say)

  • 219 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 4:09 am

    HAHA i laughed so hard i think i damaged my heart and will die 3 years early cause of this. But its worth it!

  • 220 Janneia // Mar 16, 2006 at 4:12 am

    Im chinese but grew up in Australia and I could actually read the chinese part of the menu and I find it so hilarious. My entire family is having a ball reading this. When we went to visit in China couple of years back I noticed that alot of places has really bad English translations posted for whatever reason. Is actually very embarrassing because people then think all Chinese people are like that.

    It is funny, but it is also a perfect example of the very sad state of foreign language instruction throughout Asia.

    What many posters dont realize is just how complex the situation is. Im saddened by ignorant comments like English is relatively easy to learn and its very accessible.

    I cant begin to tell you how far from reality this is and I hope and pray that the majority of readers arent this naive.

    On the contrary, English is one of the most difficult languages to learn with exceptions to every rule, multiple conjugations, homonyms and multiple spellings.

    I certainly dont find this post racist or offensive, and I appreciate the unintentional humor, but there is a subtle racism here as illustrated by comments like: Im not saying that everyone HAS to learn English before coming to America but they certainly SHOULD.

    Uh correct me if Im wrong, but I was under the impression that the restaurant is in CHINA. So the poster is a guest in a country in which he is illiterate. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I wonder where Cowicide stands now that his/her high horse has swiftly been removed.

    The English translation on the menu was well meaning gift to visitors. Unfortunately, they simply used word substitution from a Chinese/English dictionary and through luck of the draw, picked the worst possible word in every situation.

    One of the problems is the lack of teachers. Schools have to settle for teachers whose mastery of the language is less than stellar. How often does the student surpass the teacher? Especially when the teacher cant even tell the student what theyre doing wrong?

    Before native English speakers go around bashing Asians for their poor language skills, perhaps you should look at the state of language instruction in the United States or other English-speaking countries.

    There are very few foreign languages offered and in most cases they arent offered until junior high school or high school well beyond the optimum age for learning foreign language (which is about 5 years old).

    America is rich nation. Imagine what the problem is like in a less fortunate country.

    Believe me, I see the humor in a menu that lists cowboy leg and every form of rape. It is funny. But these are not mistakes because people are stupid or lazy. Its a problem in many, many countries.

    Next time you go to a school board meeting or when you are trying to decide what school to send your child to, ask what age the district begins funding foreign language instruction. I challenge you to find one that begins in elementary school.

    Now whos ignorant?

    Im Cantonese Chinese, but was born in Australia, and I can read some of the Chinese on the menus and yeah, Im not surprised some of the translations have come out the way they have - its very literal. Most notably for me was the cowboy thing. As many before have explained what it is, I wont, but cow boy indeed. *smiles*

    As to the above and longer comment, I agree. English is not an easy language to learn - for those whose native language isnt English, or they didnt pick up early on, English is quite confusing to learn. Simply because it borrows from so many languages and evolves, doesnt it?

    I can attest to the learning a language at a young age though - English is my fifth language, but I learnt it when I was four/five-ish. And its probably the one Im most fluent in. H*ck, my English is better than most of the people at my age, Im told.

    Dont be so quick to judge. Its shallow.

  • 221 Gem // Mar 16, 2006 at 6:11 am

    Im too happy from laughing until tears to get seriously annoyed at people taking offense to this.

    Its not funny because we think theyre ignorant. Its funny because some of them are no where near anything resembling food, and because some of the combinations of words are just plain hilarious, not to mention the mental pictures produced upon reading this by anyone who has imagination.

  • 222 katherine // Mar 16, 2006 at 8:28 am

    lmao dude i was nearly on the floor laughing thereseriously good stuff
    benumbed fuck silk??!!!

    keep it comin lol

  • 223 Nossidge // Mar 16, 2006 at 8:44 am

    [quote]
    # posted by Anonymous : 11:43 AM
    Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
    Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
    Keep makin shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers wont know whats happening.
    [/quote]

    Umm Ever heard of the JPEG file format? Good Lord a SQUARE! Better yet a freaking square! Dont be acting all high and mighty and inferring PhotoShop leetness when you have no clue how picture files are compressed, and the image loss asociated to each format. JPEGs always have loss around border edges, text in particular.
    A note to the author, however: GIFs would have been the image format of choice for these pictures.

  • 224 Wynnie // Mar 16, 2006 at 9:31 am

    LOL I wonder if the translator got tired and pissed off close to the end of the job and filled in fuck where ever he wanted!

  • 225 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 10:13 am

    these poor guy must have used a machine. I am guessing the resturaunt should be good those that offer good English menus arent authentic for sure.
    for real laugh, go and check out googles translation function.

  • 226 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 11:21 am

    Great.
    Up until now my favorite menu item was from a Szechuan restaurant in New Yorks Chinatown: Boiled Tripe and Things. What things could you possibly want to eat with boiled tripe?
    You, however have topped it.

  • 227 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 11:59 am

    Beautiful Pole is the brand of the sauce correct. The two Chinese words are mei ji, the first being beautiful or delicious and the second being extreme or pole, so Beautiful Pole is actually extremely delicious. One can find mei ji sauces in any supermarket in China. Just look for the brand Maggi.

  • 228 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 12:27 pm

    this is a fake, even the worst translator in a chinese resturant cant do this, they know what rape and F*ck is :0 though rape is technically Yu Chai. the vegetable. clever. I am chinese and its really not offended. no chinese restruant should be offended by this either since tis is obviouly a fake one. though type this through a transltor this is probably what you get. Love it funny as hell.

  • 229 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 12:59 pm

    im reminded at this point of a local restaurant of our own its english speaking and everything, but one of the things on the menu is the now infamous wiener schnitzel. one of the side orders is the creamy poundies. i reckon that if you can order a wiener schnitzel with creamy poundies without laughing in the waiters face, you dont have to pay for it.

    You DO know that wienerschniztel is a real food, dont you? You DO know that Wiener means from Vienna in German, dont you? You DO know that they actually call it a wienerschniztel everywhere outside the USA, dont you? You DO know that just because you Americans think its amusing to decide some words mean penis, the rest of the world can use them in their normal meaning, dont you?

  • 230 Deirdre' Straughan // Mar 16, 2006 at 1:28 pm

    If its any comfort to the easily offended, Italian menus also commit the sin of translating literally into English (if, indeed, they translate at all). I was recently in a restaurant featuring veal to the chestnuts. Not as funny as cowboy leg, but consider that most Italians supposedly learned English in school, an advantage that most Chinese didnt have!

  • 231 Scott // Mar 16, 2006 at 1:54 pm

    Dude, this is just beautiful. AT least the cowboy with the black bowel didnt fuck silk.

    ROTFLMAO! A LEAR CRASSIC!!

  • 232 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 6:11 pm

    HAHAHA! Very funny indeed! (And, to those shouting racism, Im Chinese and have no problem with it.) Anyway, keep it up! ^_^

  • 233 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 10:33 pm

    A man (lets say hes Chinese) walks into a bank in the U.S. and exchanges some money, getting about $200. The next day he comes back with the same amount, but only gets $180 for it.

    I come yesterday, get 200. Today, 180. Why different? he asks.

    Flucuations, the teller replies.

    Fluck you white guys too!

  • 234 Anonymous // Mar 16, 2006 at 11:22 pm

    I am guessing that STAGHSSD NOODLE is a typographical error. For what, I dont know. But given that the writer has limited experience with English if any at all, he probably didnt spend much time spell checking

    Kind of reminds me of one of the first machine translators. The English phrase was The Spirit is willing but the Flesh is Weak. It translated to another language as The Liquor is intending but the Meat is diluted.

  • 235 The same gal from the Bronx // Mar 17, 2006 at 12:45 am

    wuahahahhahaha funney, no shit!

  • 236 Missem // Mar 17, 2006 at 12:49 am

    Excellent post - Shame some people have no humour and see it as rascist. Half the time they are the ones with a bigger chip. I emigrated to Australia from the UK where they have some very funny names for place. Having got lost we asked for help only to be told that it was Out Whoop Whoop. With names like Inaloo, Giddgegannup we felt we were being perfectly logical in looking it up in our map book but were disappointed when we couldnt find it. The punch line as we found out two hours later was that Whoop Whoop actually means something akin to The back of beyond or in even more simple terms A Bloody Long Way a Way!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our Aussie friends laughed so hard they nearly peed themselves - Rascist, malicious.NO, just BLOODY FUNNY!!!!!

  • 237 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 2:11 am

    HILARIOUS!!

    . fuck the salt. :)

  • 238 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 2:41 am

    It was pure joy reading this! Fish mouth steams vegetable sponge Sounds like todays headline!

    Mark from Spain

  • 239 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 4:33 am

    fucking funny !!!

  • 240 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 6:15 am

    Ive got a chest cold. Everytime I laugh I break into fits of coughing. Your web site almost killed me! Hysterical!!

  • 241 Jürgen // Mar 17, 2006 at 6:30 am

    Very, very funny.

    In reference to the comment mentioning I am a jelly doughnut: thats an urban legend.

    See
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ich_bin_ein_Berliner too.

    (Im german, born and raised here)

  • 242 ArtK // Mar 17, 2006 at 6:40 am

    For the doubters, you need to travel there to see the truth. Just around the corner from the Great Wall Sheraton in Beijing is a McDonalds-type restaurant with a huuuuuge neon sign out front advertising, in English, the Donkey Flesh King.
    Yuummmmmm

  • 243 Håkan A // Mar 17, 2006 at 6:49 am

    This was so funny I got tears in my eyes And as for stupid translations, try reading Electronic Arts swedish manuals from the mid 90s, they are horrible.
    When you try out a new language you make mistakes, I have said I will be born on instead of I was born on in japanese much to the delight of my teacher. The entire class, me included, got a good laugh and went on with it. /Håkan

  • 244 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 8:12 am

    Dear people who are offended by this: GET OVER YOURSELF!

  • 245 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 8:15 am

    DONT KNOW WHAT IS ABOUT CHINES FOOD IT JUST MAKES ME HORNY, IM A GUY AND LOVE THE TAST LICKED OFF ME FROM MY MISSES WHEN SHE GETS IT HOME, THEN I GET THE TWO PINAPPLE RINGS AND EAT THEM OFF HER LOVEL DDS. ONCE FINISED I CLEAN THE SIROUP OFF WIV MY TOUGUE.

  • 246 Milou // Mar 17, 2006 at 10:57 am

    Oh. My. God! I dont think Ive laughed so much in ages - I literally scared the bejeeses out of my cats!

    Ive also read some of the comments, and I think its sad that so many people cant see the humour in this, thinking its racist English is not my native language - Im Swedish - and Im faced with mistranslations every single day in my own country. It still makes me snort with laughter, and these are my fellow Swedes! I also have a British friend who is currently learning Swedish as a second language, and when he takes out his pretty little dictionary, I know Im going to have to keep a straight face - took me 20 minutes to explain to him that one word can mean two things, and that the dictionary usually shows the noun first He couldnt understand why Michael sheep movie tickets! Får means both sheep and recieve/get *chuckles* Another -American- friend had to look twice at the sentence Fadern, Sonen och den helige Anden from the Bible he accidently translated it into The Father, The Son and the Holy Duck. Im still cracking up when I think about it *chuckles*
    On the other hand, when my British friend introduced me to Spotted Dick, I thought he was joking. Badly. I still think it sounds like something you should be aware of *L*

    Sorry for the long post - just thought Id give my two cents to the discussion. These mistranslations by dictionary occurs everywhere, no matter where you are or where you come from. Just remember the Swedish-produced advert for hoovers - Nothing Sucks Like An Electrolux!

  • 247 Coco // Mar 17, 2006 at 1:06 pm

    Funny.

    Sorry, but it is funny.

    Sure, Im a whitie. But I also laugh a bagload at Japanese websites showing mistakes in Japanese. Id laugh at other languages too, if I could understand them.

    I only hope that I provide as much mirth for others as I struggle with another language.

  • 248 Kay Dekker // Mar 17, 2006 at 5:51 pm

    This kind of accidental humour has a long and glorious history. Probably the best-known example is a small book often known as English as she is spoke (1883) which was apparently produced by translating a perfectly good Portuguese-French phrase book using a French-English dictionary and very little understanding of English.

    For more information, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_as_she_is_spoke

  • 249 Emi // Mar 17, 2006 at 6:23 pm

    Goddess. This had me laughing and feeling offended at the same time.

    XD

    Sometimes, these people ought to find a *real* translator for this stuff.

    Every Form of Rape being Choices of Vegetables we Offer
    Fuck the salt(beautiful pole) duck chin meaning Peppered duck chin(decorated).

    How the hell do they even manage to translate this stuff?!
    Im going to bring a blindfold with me when I go back to CHina this summer to avoid my eyes bleeding.

    ^__^

    But this, is way too funny.

  • 250 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 9:00 pm

    That is really a howl! I am still laughingDo you suppose that English is NOT someones first language???

  • 251 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    Thank you so much. I went to a 5-star hotel in Dengfeng and my menu was just like this.

  • 252 Anonymous // Mar 17, 2006 at 11:19 pm

    Every form Rape. Hum sounds lovely, but I think Ill pass. Where is this place anyway? Thanks, needed a good laugh!

  • 253 Anonymous // Mar 18, 2006 at 3:24 am

    Absolute classic - Im crying with laughter :-)

  • 254 Alex Reid // Mar 18, 2006 at 3:38 am

    Wonderful. Just amazing.

    Heh, bear in mind that that 3T of sausages would in most places (including, I think, China) three SI tonnes (also known as the megagram (Mg), or one million grams), making it ~300 kg (661 lb) more massive than three American short tons! Well, you certainly get value for money…

  • 255 Anonymous // Mar 18, 2006 at 4:08 am

    My favorite is: Big bowl fresh immerse miscellaneous germ

    Sounds like primordial soup.

    Honestly, this was so funny it made my ribs hurt from laughing. I honestly feel a combination of sorrow and disgust for people who are so angry at the world that they find this offensive. The intention here is not to make the translator look stupid. It is a wonderful, damn funny example of word for word, sometimes literal translation.

    My husband said to me: Ive got some beautiful pole for you. I was so dissapointed when it turned out to be BBQ sauce.

    Im sure these people did the best they could in a busy restaurant. I dont think anything should be changed. Its a great menu.

    I still want to know what duck chin is

  • 256 Anonymous // Mar 18, 2006 at 9:12 am

    couldnt stop laughing mann.. too funny! anyone pays to get fuckand rape? !!!

  • 257 llc // Mar 19, 2006 at 1:55 am

    Funny stuff!!! Super.

    Everybody assumed the translation was from Chinese mandarin, but menu items are mostly Cantonese. The infamous cowboy leg beautiful pole is Extremely tasty BBQ veal leg.

    Here is how it screwed up, the Cantonese phrase mei ji in items 5001-5004 refers to extremely tasty. There is no comparable mandarin phrase for it. Hence, when the person looked the phrase up in his little dictionary, he could only find the translation for mei and then ji separately. In Mandarin, mei is beautiful, and ji is pole or the very end of. The translator simply put them together.

    Well, not that I am opposed to any extremely tasty cowboy legs, but its good to let people know what it really was after the laughter.

    By the way, fuck the salt is salt and pepper powder. You figure it out. :)

    Finally I have to make a comment about all those racism accusations. If you have not figured it out, I am Chinese, too. I just dont see how the jokes were connected to racism against Chinese. Even if it were, I dont think throwing racial slur about white guys will make it any better. That will only make you a racist. If you want to make a critical comment, thats fine, but please it is really not necessary to make it insulting.

    I also dont agree with the guy who made the comment about fucking the guy back to China. Since you are talking about freedom of speech, it is for everyone, not just for the majority.

    well, enough political speaking. Fuck salt the extremely tasty cowboy leg, and lets keep ducking bukkake.

  • 258 Zach Inglis // Mar 19, 2006 at 8:13 am

    Those are just too good to be true!

  • 259 Obbop // Mar 19, 2006 at 8:51 am

    am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??

    Yawn..

    Yawn..

    The mind-control aparatti are functioning well. The knee-jerk rhetoric devoid of independent thought continues to assault the self-actualizing blokes and blokettes of the land.

    Yah know, there ARE folks who can see racism in a loaf of white bread.

    Sigh.

    So much blathering. So little true thinking.

    Go bleat ye blathering little sheep. Grovel at the feet of thine masters who fill your little heads with their self-indulgent rhetoric.

  • 260 Mifuyne // Mar 19, 2006 at 2:51 pm

    Wow, I had to stop reading about 1/2 - 3/4 into it. I couldnt stop laughing! My jaws and my tummy is sore now. Thanks! :P

    ~Mifuyne

  • 261 John // Mar 19, 2006 at 5:54 pm

    Really funny.

    But not half so funny as someone using the term whitie and then compaining about racism.

  • 262 Anonymous // Mar 19, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    Re: Dry = Fuck
    I ive in Taiwan and after asking a local friend how to ask for dry noodles (i.e. noodles WITHOUT soup) in Mandarin, I was told to ask for gan mien (lit: dry noodles). I got the tones wrong and unwittingly asked for fuck noodles. Its VERY easy to do.

  • 263 Anonymous // Mar 19, 2006 at 10:46 pm

    Wow, Ive lived in China for a long time and have seen some good ones, but this is beyond anything i could have even imagined. I have no doubt that its real though.

  • 264 Anonymous // Mar 20, 2006 at 10:07 am

    I am put in mind of the writer Calvin Trillins periodic attempts to learn menu Chinese; he writes at one point that two dishes sounded a lot more appetizing UNtranslated: Shredded meat three kinds, and Big intestine salty water.

  • 265 Anonymous // Mar 20, 2006 at 10:29 am

    Although Anglo-Americans in general might find this funny, and yes, haha, little chuckle, this underscores a sad reality about Americans in general.

    If an American travels to China, and makes even the smallest effort to know even a few words of Chinese, the locals are ultimately and completely appreciative and impressed by this effort; by comparison - we Americans, literally now the assholes of the world, will sit and scorn anyone and everyone who does not have a Harvard level grasp of the English spoken word and/or written langauge.

    This has nothing to do with racism, it has everything to do with Anglo-American Imperialism, Ignorance, and Intolerence. It is truely sad that we as Americans assume everyone should pander to our langauge when in reality the English langauge is a vestigial leftover from colonial times, and in fact will no longer be the predominant language of Americans sometime in the next 15 years as the rise in Spanish-only speaking Latino birth-rate around the country is currently almost double the birth-rate of English-only (both Latino, white, and Chinese Eglish only speaking populations.)

    When you then consider that MOST Latino-Americans speak Enlish and Spanish, and MANY Chinese-Americans speak English and Chinese, and MOST Anglo-Americans ONLY speak English it really paints a picture of who is really the most ignorant, in general.

    BTW - Me: White guy, Write and Speak English Fluently, speak some Spanish, French, Italian, German, and a little bit of Russian, and have attempted to learn Chinese. It is really hard and I suggest anyone who thinks they are really smart try and teach yourself Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. If you only get a foundation in these langauges it will give you a true appreciation for what these groups must go through coming to America. Anyone who has learned Spanish, French, or Italian can tell you English is one of the most not-logical, not-sensible, not easy to understand langauges in existance.

    I dare anyone to open a Hot Dog stand in Bejing. Call your food whatever the literal translation for hot dog is. Let us know how business is.

    IGNORANCE IS BLISS, DARE TO THINK

  • 266 Anonymous // Mar 20, 2006 at 11:01 am

    OMGBBQ! My eyes are still burning 2 days later from laughing. I had to take a day off of work because I couldnt stop!

  • 267 Anonymous // Mar 20, 2006 at 12:54 pm

    Fake..

    Look at the second from the bottom Every form rape. You can clearly see the photoshopping around the word because it is darker than the others. Look closer at the rest - you can see it on those as well.

  • 268 Anonymous // Mar 20, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    HAHAHA oh dude I just made an idiot outta myself Im sitting here at university in a crowded computer lab PISSING myself with laughterNICE ONE!!!

  • 269 Joe Wilson // Mar 20, 2006 at 5:02 pm

    Hey, those of you who are so upset because this post is making fun of an attempt to accomodate the language, please take a moment.. breathe. reach down, between your legs and carefully untwist thy panties.

    Finding humor in everyday life is part of what keeps us sane and keeps life interesting. Finding humor in something does not necessarily devalue the effort that was made to take the action, only finding humor in the result. I am just as intertained by English phrases/slogans being mangled in the language of another country, as I am in the reverse.

    ~joe

    p.s. my favourites are pig live bowel, every form rape, and carbon.

  • 270 Haley // Mar 20, 2006 at 7:49 pm

    I will have Plaster w/ coconut juie for dessert pleasewait, does that come in liquid form? or is it already hardened?

  • 271 casey paleos // Mar 20, 2006 at 8:11 pm

    first of all, let me be the umpteenth person to say that i think this page is freaking hilarious. i havent laughed this hard in a long time. i want to thank rahoi for taking the time to put this together.

    second, please let me explain to the humorless tight-asses who somehow blundered onto this website why laughing at this fails to constitute racism or to indicate collusion with some kind of imperialist american hegemony (as a staunch critic of americas foreign policy, i am not here to argue against the fact that the american govt behaves badly; but that has absolutely nothing to do with this because it is not from a standpoint of imagined superiority over other nationalities/races that we are laughing. this will hopefully become clear below).

    in a nutshell:

    what so many of us find funny is not the idea of some chinese person making a fool of himself. anyone who takes that meaning away from this page is projecting that interpretation from their own prejudices and/or insecurities.

    what we do find funny is the absurdity inherent in these jumbles of words. reading a menu is normally such a mundane and practiced experience that to see phrases like wood flower picks sea cucumber hoof in place of what we expect to be the ordinary name or description of a dish catches us off guard, and thats funny. above and beyond that, the mental images evoked by these phrases (a roasted cowboy leg on a plate or a sea cucumber with hooves, for example) are so cartoonish and nonsensical that they are hilarious.

    the point here is that the reason this is funny stems from the words and phrases themselves, and is completely irrespective of their origins. this could have been a botched translation from italian or russian or portuguese or french or navajo and the effect would have been exactly the same: it would be exactly as funny for exactly the same reasons. it has nothing to do with the person who made the mistake. its not the mistake thats funny, its the result. that is an important distinction.

    sorry for the boring rant. its sad that some people actually need to have the concept of a sense of humor explained to them. how the hell do you people get through the day? you must be miserable. do us a favor and stop being fun-stealers. keep your misery to yourselves. your self-righteous posturing accomplishes nothing, save to annoy people like me. learn how to embrace the absurdity of life, how to not take yourself so god-damn seriously, and youll be much happier in the long run, i promise.

  • 272 Anonymous // Mar 20, 2006 at 9:29 pm

    I saw the same thing in Chinese restaurants in Germany. The ideograms would be translated into German with some unfortuante results. But with the translation theyd also list the ingredients and from that I could figure out the likely dish since I was into cooking Chinese dishes at the time.

  • 273 Dambedir aka Abyssion // Mar 21, 2006 at 2:05 am

    Well, Id have to say This is funny. Its not every day youre sent a link like this, and get a nice chuckle out of it.
    Good work, and I hope to see more of this. :)
    Now, the nasty stuff
    Id like to point out to the hypocrites, who go on about ignorance, and also how were all racists for laughing at the misinterpretations of this menu:
    Whities is racism. Before you start throwing racist slander at us all, learn to read what you are typing! Learn to think before you post. Before you click the Publish button, re-read your post. Itll show you youre a hypocrite.

    Your ignorance is quite clear to us all. Mr Rahoi is of Chinese ORIGIN as he has stated, along with many others. He LIVES in CHINA! Another point youve missed. His wife, is chinese. Thought Id add that to emphasise the point. He knows all too well the difficulties and problems that occur with multi-lingual translations. He knows how poor the translations can be, due to machine translations. For once in your life, READ!!! You might learn something.

    Finally, Practise what you preach. You go on about us being ignorant, and how were racists, yet you are your own enemy. You hate people who are racist and ignorant, yet youre the same as them. Very hypocritical of you, isnt it?

    Oh, before I finish up - Any language you are not accustomed to hearing at all will most certainly be difficult to learn. Whether it be English, Chinese, or Ancient Hebrew.
    All are difficult.

    But, enough of that. Youve done a good job on this site, and continue your work :)

    ~Ramblings of a 16yr old child; Dambedir aka Abyssion~

    P.S - Enjoy the truth so pure, that in your heart you know its true; spoken by a child so corrupt, he can make spoons rust by looking at them.
    If you fail to see the irony in that, I dunno what.

  • 274 Anonymous // Mar 21, 2006 at 7:18 am

    I cant help but laugh at a: the menu, which is priceless, and b: the sanctimonious prats who think its racist or unfair to laugh at it.

    Ive lived in China for four years, two in Dongbei (Haerbin), and two in Shanghai.

    Menus, signs, notices, etc are often machine translated on these little translator gizmos almost every student has. That creates some profoundly interesting English, and its funny.

    To those who think its racist, come here for a bit. Go to someplace a bit rural, say, Suihua, and try to speak Chinese. The locals will laugh, because they think its funny- and it is (a bit disheartening for learners though).

    I think that laughing at the translation is just fair turnabout, and makes up, just a bit, for the interminable hello laowai, hello! followed by wild laughter youll find on the streets.

  • 275 Anonymous // Mar 21, 2006 at 7:55 am

    Absolutely side splitting stuff, I still cant stop laughing!

  • 276 Anonymous // Mar 21, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    Fake..

    Look at the second from the bottom Every form rape. You can clearly see the photoshopping around the word because it is darker than the others. Look closer at the rest - you can see it on those as well.

    No. That effect is from the scanner software, not from Photoshop. I have an Epson scanner that does the very same thing. The laminate on the original menu probably caused a glare that the scanner compensated for by reducing it around the darker letters and symbols. That accounts for the squiggily lines there. Further, notice how those marks appear around ALL of the letters and symbols, not just around the ones you pointed out.

    I have extensive experience with Photoshop and can tell you with a straight face how easy it would have been to eliminate those lines all together. If he had pasted this in, youd see straight, flat lines that stood out. It would be obvious and easy to spot and would require no close up study of squiggily scanner-lines.

    As for some letters being darker, again, this is easily explained either by the scanner having a normal hiccup, or by the original printing of the menu, which belongs to (I assume) a family-owned restaurant, and likely was run off by well-used machines. The same differences in tone can be seen by any one of you running a series of copies off on any printer or copier in your office. Even on the best machines, the tone is not going to be 100% all down the line.

    Finally, if you want to be so petty in your choice of supposed evidence of a fakery, I point you to the parts of the menu that are misaligned and crooked on the page. Not impossible to duplicate in Photoshop, but the stretching of the letters would more likely indicate that the menu was not always straight on the glass when he scanned it, or that the printer the menu came off of tilted the media as it was going through, and simply printed crookedly. Too sourcy to be fake.

    Look, languages sometimes get crossed. Its funny. Its not racism and it doesnt need to be faked. Its simply a fact, it happens, and we might as well chuckle at it.

  • 277 Anonymous // Mar 21, 2006 at 1:13 pm

    Having lived in Hong Kong, I fully appreciate the hilarity of such mis-translations. Absolutely wet myself there, I must admit. Splendid.

  • 278 Anonymous // Mar 21, 2006 at 4:51 pm

    every kind of rape? does that mean man rape, woman rape, dog rape, biotch rape???

  • 279 The same gal from the Bronx // Mar 21, 2006 at 7:25 pm

    wuahahahhahahahhah funney shit!

  • 280 Bec // Mar 22, 2006 at 12:14 am

    i will like to say is i kinda disagree with one of the comments. most of these words were in fact not made by hong kong people. non on the hong kong slang can be found there. it is mainly just mandarin. (look its in simplified most of the time!) + i myself a chinese from hong kong find it funny as well. but sad if ppl say that asians should all learn english fluently be4 they go to a certain country,are u ppl saying that u learn everyone single god damn language be4 u go on vacation else where? THAT IS NOT POSSIBLY!!! its just racist. we dun think everyone should learn chinese. anywayz. many ppl make mistakes with these kinda stuff even european ppl. if we give u chinese characters u possibly dun even know wat it means. they were obviously translating word for word. which is obvious if u can read the chinese.

  • 281 TomAllen // Mar 22, 2006 at 10:36 am

    Thanks for the fun menu, rahoi.

    Someday in the future, perhaps, all people on Earth will speak one language: Earthican. (Though I doubt it.) Until then, well have lots of trouble and lots of fun trying to make ourselves understood to one another.

    Translations of foreign menus to English are, if they arent done by experts, hilarious. Similarly, non-English speakers laugh their asses off at what Americans try to translate into Spanish, or French, or Chinese, or Hong Kong Chinese, or whatnot. For thousands, if not millions of years, every culture has laughed at other cultures that try to translate anothers language into their own. Most of us take it in good humor, and try to politely make ourselves understood. We call it good manners.

    But that doesnt stop us from laughing at siily menu items. I mean, spotted dick indeed! As if some sort of English speaker would name some foodstuff that! Oh wait a minute.

  • 282 Anonymous // Mar 22, 2006 at 11:47 am

    I probably would have bought the menu too. I mean, how are you gonna pass that up.

  • 283 Joshua_Tree // Mar 22, 2006 at 2:05 pm

    OMG! I havent laughed this hard since, well, ever. :D

  • 284 Anonymous // Mar 22, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    Sorry to disappoint, but we use rapeseed oil here, only we call it cannola oil, and in China youll be served rape as a green vegetable. It has yellow flowers which are lovely when you pass a field of rape on a fast-moving train.
    Now, if somebody could tell me what my local restaurant was offering up as cold stirred disgusting fellows from the ocean Id be mighty appreciative. When I finally got up the nerve to order it, they were out.

  • 285 Gunnar // Mar 23, 2006 at 4:57 am

    Im sorry I cant take it anymore hahahahahah :)

    This is just one menu? Therre really skilled to be able to come up with such a menu.
    Great!

  • 286 NasrafRekcos // Mar 23, 2006 at 8:34 am

    Wow Im crying!
    What did you order?
    I think a cowboy leg with a Fuck the salt( beautiful pole) duck chin on the side would be interesting. And then I would snack on some Strange flavour Of Inside Freasure. Great

  • 287 Fatboy Steve // Mar 24, 2006 at 1:53 am

    I have seen this kind of thing many times.
    But I think the mistakes come from the translation being to literal and doing a word by word translation which makes no sense at all in English. (use AltaVista Babel Fish translator and you get the same results with languages such as Japanese and Chinese)

  • 288 Anonymous // Mar 24, 2006 at 4:27 am

    This is without doubt the most dangerous thing i have ever read!!! I am sat here at my desk at work getting strange looks as i giggle completely out of controltears washing down my face..the pain in my belly.oh make it stopmake it stop!!!

  • 289 Anonymous // Mar 24, 2006 at 5:34 am

    Absolutely brilliant, had me crying with laughter!!!!

  • 290 Anonymous // Mar 24, 2006 at 7:35 am

    WTF!!!????
    Fuck the salt(beautiful pole) duck chin????

    No thanks.

  • 291 Mistress Blue // Mar 24, 2006 at 2:01 pm

    Thank you so much for putting all the work into obtaining and posting this! Its fabulously funny!

  • 292 Mark Hadgraft // Mar 25, 2006 at 5:17 am

    best laugh ive had in a while.
    You had me in tears. Love to meet the translator funny guy or stupid guy lol

  • 293 Anonymous // Mar 25, 2006 at 1:08 pm

    OMG. Im CRYING, Im laughing so hard!

  • 294 Anonymous // Mar 25, 2006 at 4:34 pm

    at 0130am on a cold night, this brought a laugh and a stitch at the same time, but it made me forget about the cold. goodun

  • 295 Anonymous // Mar 25, 2006 at 5:03 pm

    I tried to figure out how to contact Simon directly via his blog but I dont use them or read them much, so I failed. Anyway, I wanted to point out that hes repeating a couple of myths because Im really anal like that.

    and, having been raised here in the states, i have to say that most of my favorite mistranslations are still stupid things we americans have carried to other countries in our wonderful attempts to be cosmopolitan

    I am a jelly doughnut, anybody? and i think weve all heard the one about why chevrolet could not seem to sell their famous Nova in mexico? in fact, i seem to recall an absolutely hysterical advertising campaign, when coca-cola first tried to make a big push into china

    The Nova sold well in Mexico and didnt require a new name. http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.asp

    Berliners didnt and still dont think the JFK quote was funny, unintentionally or not. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ich_bin_ein_Berliner

    I dont know what you meant by the Coke in China reference. Given the status of the other two, Id verify it before repeating it it if I was you.

    There are examples of international bonehead moves by American businesses and officials. But there are myths as well. For some reason people who consider themselves at least fairly cluey cheerfully believe JFKs speechwriters and GMs Latin American marketing department were completely incompetent.

    Personally, I found the comments about as interesting as the menu. However, I didnt read much past Simons post because I got distracted looking up links and now I have to leave the house. So, if somebody or somebodies already debunked it, apologies.

  • 296 Anonymous // Mar 25, 2006 at 8:46 pm

    Plaster with coconut juice?! Talk about adding more fiber to your diet. Sorry, I cant order anythinglaughed myself sick!

  • 297 Mike Stallard // Mar 26, 2006 at 12:38 am

    Yummy!
    I LOVE Cowboy leg!
    Eat up, the escrungeant.

  • 298 Adlib // Mar 26, 2006 at 11:05 am

    Thanks alot! I loved it. Just keep these coming!

  • 299 Anonymous // Mar 26, 2006 at 5:05 pm

    Ive studied four languages and have rarely seen anything as hilarious as this desperate mistranslation. Pure class!

    Um, fellow posters: you will find it singularly helpful to read the other posts before making one yourself. ie, your question may be answered; you might actually learn something (cowboy is veal); and you can avoid making a duplicate comment if someone already said/asked the same thing. You could even avoid looking like an idiot, which is always a good thing.

  • 300 Anonymous // Mar 27, 2006 at 4:35 am

    Really funny, but Id like to help these chineses translating.
    If I was mean, id translate do this
    [][][][][]
    You are stupid so but good in soup of
    [][][][][]
    Burger Kid wiht bleeding kid
    [][][][][]
    Old Very pizza junk

    But im nice, so ill translate to simple enGlish.

  • 301 Ravages // Mar 27, 2006 at 4:49 am

    Oh man! Where is this place. I have always wanted to die a happy man and this way, I will achieve both the happy and the death. ROTFLMAO.

  • 302 Anonymous // Mar 27, 2006 at 7:31 am

    I am Mexican and I dont think my country has ever made or processed cilliy. Thats so cilly, man.

  • 303 Anonymous // Mar 27, 2006 at 10:19 am

    Anon Prof had it all right. Anyone who has spent any time traveling around China will encounter restaurant menus with similarly gut-busting funny mistakes.

    As a clarifying note, though, it should be pointed out that these are not machine translations. Most Chinese words are complex combinations of multiple characters. Its rather obvious that the translator (ahem) did the best he could, literally translating, in most cases character by character, with the resulting jibberish. Add in a few unfortunately hilarious garbled spelling mistakes, and you have the resulting classic. But, hey - youve got to hand it to the guy who tried. Some of this stuff reads better than Hemingway.

    And its no easy task, either. Reading a menu in China, no matter how many years youve studied Chinese, is daunting. Its practically its own dialect. Most of us guailuos simply find the primary noun (beef) and hope for the best.

    By the way, Fuck the salt (Beautiful Pole) Duck Chin is
    Salted Duck Gizzards (very nice or delicious). Frankly, Im not sure the corrected translation helps much. Ive never been a big fan of gizzards chicken, duck or otherwise.

    And the mysterious Staghssd Noodle? The Chinese characters read Italian-style Noodles. I would guess that Staghssd was a valiant attempt at spaghetti.

    For those getting all wrapped around the axle and all serious about this stuff - Jeez, relax. Stop by my house in Seoul. The local bar advertises Rum and Cock on their mixed drink menu. To tell you the truth, I havent had the guts to order it yet.

  • 304 Diane Joyce // Mar 28, 2006 at 11:30 am

    I laughed and laughed more until tears were streaming. NIce site!

  • 305 Anonymous // Mar 28, 2006 at 6:48 pm

    I am Chinese and I enjoy seeking funny stuff all over the world. Ive translated a small portion of the Chinese, and hope

    everyone would have a better idea on what the menus been trying to say, and how the original translation endded up in such

    way. So, enjoy it!

    Note: No Discount on Special Offers/Bargain Items and/or on Bank Holidays

    Special Offer/Bargain Items

    Roast Chicken

    House Steak

    Lamb Shin

    Beaf Shin

    Rib Eye

    Roast Rice in Souce of Choice

    Deep Fried Toast (* usually in syrup or honey)

    Salad

    3001 Tuna Salad

    3002 Cheps Pick Mix

    3003 Fresh Mix Fruit Salad

    3004 Country Life Salad/Rutality Salad

    3005 Mix Fruit Salad

    6007 Best Selected Fine Steak ( Dont really know what it is, unless I can see it first.This is the only way I can think of

    translating it.)

    6014 Dont know which part this is. Sorry.

    All above steaks can be served with a sauce of your choice from below: Black Pepper,Tamato Sauce,Gravy,Garlic Sauce,Lemon

    Sause,Orange Sauce (a bit odd isnt it? lol^_^),Plumb Sauce or Hot Mexican Sauce (Tobasco?). Following additional options are

    available: Tieban/teppanyaki (a pre-heated iron plate to heat up dishes),extra sauce,egg and rice. Each costs 2 Yuan (the

    basic Chinese currency unit)

    Shaoxsing Style Yellow Wine

    1310 Mouthwatering fried delights on the farm

    1312 Grilled Pork Pole and sea cucumber with Broccoli

  • 306 Anonymous // Mar 29, 2006 at 8:29 am

    Still laughing! Absolutely wonderful :-)

    /CAx

  • 307 Anonymous // Mar 29, 2006 at 9:32 am

    Love it that they got sprit. In Swedish thats booze, plain and simple :)

  • 308 PC Dirtybath // Mar 29, 2006 at 12:49 pm

    Well, like most people, Im partial to a bit of cowboy leg, but too much of a good thing fellas

  • 309 Anonymous // Mar 29, 2006 at 2:33 pm

    i seriously think that there was an american guy typing this up that seriously wanted to fuck with people, and by the end he was just like, PAH, fuck the salt!

  • 310 Anonymous // Mar 30, 2006 at 10:01 am

    Good one :)
    Heres something I found funny;
    they write deep-fried chieken wing, then the very next item on the menu is labled deep-fored chieken legs. What are they trying to do? write down every possible way they think it might be spelled?

  • 311 'Lenore on the Floor // Mar 30, 2006 at 4:57 pm

    Carbon Burns Black Bowel Man, I just HATE it when that happens to me! There used to be a special at this Chinese restaurant I really love called Deep Fried Pork Bungs. I dont know wtf a bung is, but I never ordered it and i wish I had now.
    I bought some oil paints the other day and read the blurb on the inside. The second paragraph is as follows:
    Maries Oil colours select and adopt the most permanent pigments, the best refined botanic oil, mixed and are finely ground into smooth paste. Varied chemical and physical properties are strictly examined. They have a suitable degree of dryness and as the paste is steady, they can keep up and give full play of the strokes of painters. The white colour [sic] are particularly parepared [sic] to ensure from yellowish. If painting is drawed with Maries Oil Colours, it could be [reserved well in a very long time and the surface will never crack, that is why the artists welcome to use them.
    PS I live on top of a furniture owned by a Chinese man named Mao (who sells chairs chair Mao never mind); the store is called Wellcome Furniture. Thats Wellcome, with 2 Ls. What freakin ever, man. God, I love languages

  • 312 Anonymous // Mar 31, 2006 at 11:46 am

    Remind me of: hydraulic ram = water sheep.

    Im Candaian Chinese, born in Hong Kong, so I can see/understand the translation- or mis-translation. Too funny - If you cant laugh at yourself .

  • 313 Soruk // Mar 31, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    The duck chin sounds all very well - until you get the bill.

    Best laugh Ive had in years, thank you!!

  • 314 Anonymous // Mar 31, 2006 at 3:54 pm

    Tell me, this is not a real menu!

  • 315 Anonymous // Mar 31, 2006 at 9:03 pm

    Ive never laughed harder in my life! Thank you. :)

  • 316 Anonymous // Apr 1, 2006 at 3:19 am

    omfg!!! sooo funny lol!
    has any1 tried 2 fuck the salt lol
    seems like a hard thing 2 swallow lol
    ive been larfin at this 4 ages nd told all my friends bout it im onli 12 but still find this funny as
    luv meg

  • 317 Anonymous // Apr 1, 2006 at 3:42 am

    omfg!!! sooo funny lol!
    has any1 tried 2 fuck the salt lol
    seems like a hard thing 2 swallow lol
    ive been larfin at this 4 ages nd told all my friends bout it im onli 12 but still find this funny as
    luv meg

  • 318 Anonymous // Apr 1, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    fake or not, as those of us who speak more than one language know, translation can be a very daunting thing. english is my first language, but i also speak german. am i somehow racist for having answered, when asked what i thought of the weather, that it was a beautiful day, as the sun was snowing and the air was homosexual? were the people who laughed (rightly so) at me when i said that racist?
    hell no. i called the air homosexual! how is that NOT funny? (and just to explain that mistranslation: the german word for humid or muggy is schwul pronounced roughly as sh-vool. the german word for homosexual is also schwul, but with an umalut over the u, rendering the pronunciation sh-vull. the verb to shine, scheinen is what i meant to apply to the sun, but the verb to snow, schienen is what i said instead.) the differences are sometimes so subtle that mistranslations or miscalculations like saying that the sun snows just happen.

  • 319 Anonymous // Apr 1, 2006 at 4:41 pm

    i´m hungry!! can u take an order??

  • 320 Anonymous // Apr 2, 2006 at 6:58 am

    Am I the only one that noticed that the menu says Strange Flavour of inside FreasuSe, with an S and not an R? Im not complaining, but it was going to drive me crazy to not say something.

    Now if youll excuse me, Im a little thirstyI have to go get a can of Coca CocaHaha. Nice.

  • 321 Anonymous // Apr 2, 2006 at 8:55 am

    Cowboy leg, Beautiful Pole? Wasnt that in BrokeBack Mountian?

  • 322 Ciel // Apr 2, 2006 at 9:48 am

    Humorous.
    I dont know about the people claiming to pee their pants or shed tears at the hilarity - I dont find it THAT funny, but perhaps it depends on the angle theyre approaching it from, i.e.- life experiences, social environment, age, etc.
    I would love to see, as others have mentioned, the reasoning behind the mistranslations posted along with future messed up menus and the sort - that would make it funnier to me.
    As for the people who are obviously scouting out things to get offended over - get a life. Work on becoming a more well rounded person and dont have your entire identity revolve around your race, no one cares. Youre the only one turning funny observations into racial slurs.
    If a clumsy cat falls off a couch and I laugh, are you gonna accuse me of hating cats?

  • 323 k.a. odegard // Apr 2, 2006 at 7:29 pm

    Dont ever take this page down, okay? Im having too much fun making people almost wet themselves.

  • 324 Anonymous // Apr 3, 2006 at 9:03 am

    I got kicked out of the library for laughing so hard and loud!

  • 325 Anonymous // Apr 3, 2006 at 9:13 pm

    Dudeive been to China like a million times and Friend Beef rice w/ Scorn and egg PWNS

  • 326 Anonymous // Apr 3, 2006 at 9:48 pm

    Absolutely hilarious.
    The typos are always great people not used to roman characters/english cant scan a sentence for spelling mistakes as quickly and accurately as native users. My Japanese professor always used to tell us to Work on your surnival skills!

  • 327 Anonymous // Apr 3, 2006 at 9:56 pm

    scorned eggs PWN

  • 328 Anonymous // Apr 3, 2006 at 9:57 pm

    Scorned eggs PWN

  • 329 Yvette // Apr 5, 2006 at 8:09 am

    Wish I have had the chance to go to such a GREAT restaurant!
    Fuck the salt(beautiful pole..)

  • 330 Caitlyn // Apr 6, 2006 at 12:47 am

    Years ago (1978 or so) The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction held a contest: translate a famous science fiction title literally into another language. Then take the literal translation and translate that literally back to English. Funniest result wins. And the winner was

    The Doors of His Face, The Lamps of His Mouth by Roger Zelazny became

    He Has a Hole In His Head and His Teeth Glow In the Dark

    That was a nice, common European language, mind you.

    Yes, I laughed out loud over and over again. I have traveled throughout Asia and I do believe this to be real. It isnt racism or imperialism to find this funny. I certainly have had my attempts at some languages I am not fluent in laughed at and when I knew what I said I joined in the laughter.

  • 331 mirrorzoom // Apr 7, 2006 at 1:15 am

    ok. now i finish laughing out for hours, I can now type. As much as i enjoy this whole thing, it is or at least the last part is staged. from the first part of this thing it seems obvious that the person translating this thing have no clue about the English language whatsoever. Hes just using a dictionary or perhaps a translating software. But when the word fuck finally appears in the end, it becomes clear that the translator (be it the author of this blog or not) knew both Chinese and English rather well. He knew exactly what he was doing.

    Im Chinese, so i can put this whole thing together word for word. Gan4 is the character translated into fuck in the last few items. That character have many meanings which one of them is slang for fuck. However, I cant image any dictionary or translating software put this meaning as their first explaination for gan4. In fact, most dictionaries dont even mention that definition. Other definitions such as dry,do,execute,stem,backbone are all on higher priority than slang for fuck on dictionaries. so put it in one sentense theres no way anyone using a dictionary or software can get fuck out of gan4.

    summary, These arent written by a person who only speaks Chinese. theres no way he could use fuck for gan4. These arent written by a person who speaks English and limited Chinese either. the fuck definition of gan4 is not something youll learn in your first Chinese lesson. =) So, this is why i said the person who wrote this knew both Chinese and English pretty well. > staged.

    i suspect the resturant did this on purpose =P so they could sell em to make a few bucks.

  • 332 jon // Apr 7, 2006 at 1:33 am

    seriously - NOT STAGED. And there is no way in hell the restaurant did this to sell to foreigners, as I was likely the first one to ever set foot inside. This is not Beijing or Shanghai - its Foshan, a town known for kung fu. The only people who come are those lucky few on business or there to strengthen their Qigong. The whole time Ive been there, Ive seen enough foreigners to maybe have a full-court basketball game. With subs. And most of those were at the downtown Pizza Hut. This restaurant was off the beaten path, on Dai Fook Nan Lu, where very very very few gwailo ever go. So no, it wasnt staged, and no, it wasnt on purpose. If you want to call them and ask what whack dictionary they used, be my guest. In fact, I think Ill do that and save you all the trouble. More on this as it develops!

  • 333 Anonymous // Apr 7, 2006 at 10:40 am

    Congratulations - this is effing hilarious. I cant remember laughing out loud like this in ages. (your comments helped)

    My friend brought home a picture of a menu from Mexico (she couldnt get them to give up the original), that listed eggs to the pleasure and roasted beast crust.

    I love it. Great job!
    Lisa

  • 334 Anonymous // Apr 7, 2006 at 6:30 pm

    oh lord. i almost wet myself all over my swiveling desk chair.

    hysterical. i wonder what cowboy legs taste like?

  • 335 Anonymous // Apr 8, 2006 at 2:37 pm

    This is a riot. I am just back from a week in Shanghai and lost in translation comes to mind there. Nothing is an exact translation. Anytime we got into a cab we had to have our destination written out for us because saying Hyatt Hotel or Airport doesnt translate into chinese.

  • 336 Anonymous // Apr 9, 2006 at 8:57 am

    If more people fuck the salt then there would be less heart diesease. Though i doubt this is what it meant

  • 337 Anonymous // Apr 9, 2006 at 10:18 am

    lol would love to see the real menus!!
    great cant wait for next bach

  • 338 blueberrycoffee // Apr 10, 2006 at 1:50 am

    Such an AWESOME menu!!
    I live in Hong Kong and I just wonder why the menu in Chinese is such fun!!!
    Actually, I think they should really find one who knows English to translate that menu!!
    Hah! The menu is totally nonsense.
    What the hell is beautiful pole?
    It MUST be Maggi seasoning produced by Nestle.

  • 339 finitesimal // Apr 10, 2006 at 8:30 am

    Very hilarious! I seen terrible translations but not as bad as that. Good enough to be an in-house entertainment. :)

  • 340 chibified kitsunes // Apr 11, 2006 at 12:09 am

    Tsk.

    Its translations like this that makes me ashamed to be a Chinese.

    I find it hilarious that they can muck up translations like that though.

    Although I absolutely detest the stereotyping that since I am a Chinese, I cant speak proper English.

    I would have paid good money to see the scene at the restaurant when you wanted to buy the menu. XD

  • 341 Anonymous // Apr 11, 2006 at 6:06 am

    Lots of blather about intent and foreigners and fakes and racism such - what a shame. The posting is a gem. English is one of the toughest languages to learn. No mystery there. Its one of the most irregular languages in the world - and one of the very few, if not the only language, in which the be verb is irregular.

    Its also one of the funniest - intentionally or unintentionally.

    So Chinese, Koreans, Germans, Russians, and Luxembourgians screw it up, with (as in this classic example) hilarious results. But, jeez, guys, thats the beauty of English. EVERYBODY screws it up. No one more so than native speakers. Thats why its such a versatile language.

    And no one screws up English more than native speakers. And even among the native speakers, its a toss-up. I still cant understand half of what your average Welshman, Irishman, or Scot is saying (Im American). I sometimes think Canadians just make up new words just to screw with their neighbors to the South.

    I lived in Hong Kong for two years. Imagine how stupid I felt when I walked down the stairs to the subway, to discover it was actually an underpass. Those friggin Brits fooled me again! The examples are endless.

    I had a British professor in college (or, university for you Brits) who once tried to tell a joke to a classromm of American students. I cant recall the joke, but it was about some guys trying to hitch a ride on the back of a truck. He kept saying, Joe got on the lorrie and Jim got on the lorrie and Bob got on the lorrie and on and on.

    Finally, a girl in the back of the class raised her hand, and asked the question that each and every one of the American students was secretly thinking:

    Excuse me, Professor. Who is Laurie?

  • 342 Anonymous // Apr 11, 2006 at 11:17 am

    A previous poster wrote:
    Otherwise, I just might look like a jackass and I would expect some ribbing from the locals when I accidentally mislabel my sausage as roast donkey penis, etc.

    Ive seen grilled beef penis served in an Argentinian grillhouse.

  • 343 Anonymous // Apr 12, 2006 at 3:03 pm

    This is truly something me and my friends spent hours laughing at this.

    Hey, Im chinese and this is just hillarious, to me!

  • 344 Anonymous // Apr 13, 2006 at 11:15 am

    A haiku:

    Lthick mordacity
    Cowboy leg a beautiful pole
    Carbon burns black bowel

  • 345 newyorkisbetterthanyou // Apr 13, 2006 at 6:57 pm

    At least they saved the best for last. Ill take two!!!

  • 346 Andrew Craig // Apr 14, 2006 at 3:53 am

    Anonymous wrote: Wow, Last time I checked we lived in the US where we have free speech. So, really if you dont like the page then you dont have to come back.

    You may be surprised to learn, mate, that there are some users of this internet thingy who DONT live in the United States!

  • 347 Anonymous // Apr 14, 2006 at 12:16 pm

    1327. Explodes cow sun.
    I am totally collapsed after this

  • 348 Anonymous // Apr 14, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    hmmi just hope the customers werent so offended by the fucked up menu.

  • 349 Anonymous // Apr 15, 2006 at 5:37 pm

    laughed out loud till tears came. thanks

  • 350 Kevin // Apr 16, 2006 at 6:21 am

    I tried fucking the salt on a beautiful pole, and Im not ordering that. Now my penis is sore! I demand compensation. Now, what do I do with the beautiful polemmm!

  • 351 K. A. Zei // Apr 17, 2006 at 6:15 pm

    One sounds appetising, at least until the last bit

    Fresh bulb lilicelery west fruit.. in eyes??? WTF? Why in the eyes? Why not in the mouth?

    ROTFL at this menu.

  • 352 Anonymous // Apr 19, 2006 at 3:21 am

    Oh my god! Tis menu made me non-stop laughing all day long. I hope 2 see more of tis.

  • 353 Anonymous // Apr 19, 2006 at 5:34 pm

    told you .. chinese is stupid ..

  • 354 Anonymous // Apr 20, 2006 at 3:41 am

    Hahaha! Heres more!

  • 355 Anonymous // Apr 20, 2006 at 6:34 am

    this is awesome. i cried laughingin the middle of the school library.

  • 356 Anonymous // Apr 20, 2006 at 8:56 am

    Lots of blather about intent and foreigners and fakes and racism such - what a shame. The posting is a gem. English is one of the toughest languages to learn. No mystery there. Its one of the most irregular languages in the world - and one of the very few, if not the only language, in which the be verb is irregular.

    Uh être = to be in French. Its irregular. Ser = to be in Spanish. Its irregular. My guess is that because these two are, its irregular in Italian, and if all of these are irregular, it probably is in Latin, too.

  • 357 Anonymous // Apr 23, 2006 at 1:12 pm

    Lmao!!! okay i am a chinese too but this is just funny! i lived in china for many years but neva seen such menu before ( probably cos i neva read the english part of the menu ), next time i go to china i must bring a back a few menu!!

  • 358 Anonymous // Apr 24, 2006 at 4:10 am

    Im laughing so hard I almost choked on my cowboy leg ROFL oh thank you thank you

  • 359 That's MIZZ Gypsy To You! // Apr 24, 2006 at 1:21 pm

    All those years I lived in Colorado and it never occured to me that Cowboy tasted good. Who knew?

    Thanks for sharing this. Although Im not injured from trying not to let my boss know I was reading it.

  • 360 Anonymous // Apr 25, 2006 at 8:38 am

    Whomever wrote that first flame has no grasp of the English language either.
    If you are going to flame, please learn to type first.

    The translations are hilarious!
    Thanks for sharing!

  • 361 Maven // Apr 25, 2006 at 10:00 am

    One of the funniest things Ive read in quite a while. Both the menu and the PC wars. Thanks for posting it.

  • 362 Anonymous // Apr 29, 2006 at 12:10 am

    Alright, I am a translator and trust me, this is NOT machine translation. Machine translation would have been probably better than this.

    Here is a little explanation on why English is so twisted in China. In China, where people work for much less money than, say, in the States (well, if you convert their earnings anyway), translators are popping up all over the place because many people there figured out that its easy money (you can work from home) and it pays well. So, manu Chinese - just like the rest of the world, by the way - improvise themselves as translators when they hardly speak other languages than their own. There are thousands of translation agencies in China, and if you check them out, you will see that 80% of them are a single person working from home.

    Now, I would like to attract your attention on something. Laugh as hard as you can and as long as you can at these incredibly funny language tortures, because from now on, they are an endangered species. The Chinese government has decided this year to do something about it all. They have realized that if they want to do big business - and they are now more ready than ever - they will need to learn to communicate in English. They are training translators for free and teaching large amounts of people English. So, from now on, these funny bits will become rarer. Enjoy them while you can!

    Thanks for the laugh - I have a hiatal hernia, but I dont mind

  • 363 Anonymous // Apr 29, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    didnt really find that very funny! it was amusing but not very entertaining

  • 364 rwen // Apr 29, 2006 at 10:45 pm

    Hahahahaa. oh gods, direct translations ftw (and ftl)!

  • 365 Cz // May 1, 2006 at 11:05 am

    I can imagine how this whole thing happened.

    It comes from a non-English speaker, with zero knowledge of english language. There are softwares in Chinese operating systems, that you can just put the mouse over a Chinese charactor and itll give you the english translation, but you gotta do it word to word. So basically someone did that and wrote down the english. Without knowing what they are reading and add that on top of not knowing how to type, you can get a lot of wrong letters easily. For example. cilily for chilly, and a lot more.

    Its good laugh anyway.

  • 366 andy3004 // May 2, 2006 at 12:21 pm

    Great, just great! XD

    I can fully understand how this english translation came to life, and I know too that the people obviously put much effort into it
    but still I couldnt help myself laughing til it hurt.

    Actually, I think that westernes like me face similar problems when trying to learn an Asian language. (Im slowly approaching fluency in Japanese and also began to pick up Mandarin - and both language prove to be a much bigger challenge then acquiring skills in English or even Spanish)

    I also remember some scene from a book or movie, where one american guy decided to get a tattoo, and he chose the Kanji 大 and 便 because those traits, he thought, reflected best his characters. Unfortunately, this combination of Kanji has quite a different meaning in both Japanese and Chinese language

  • 367 Anonymous // May 5, 2006 at 1:28 pm

    You know, I have laughed so much Ive got the hiccups, then was sickthis didnt happen this time but I did hurt my back, sort of laugh ow laugh

  • 368 RELAX!!!!! // May 5, 2006 at 5:45 pm

    beleive it or not, the english language is the most difficult to learn. that is a proven fact. if its fake or not, i dont know. like another commenter said, we would have a hard enough time learning their language much less writing/typing it. its all the same. has it ever entered your brain that they do the same thing to us? PEOPLE,,,,, ENJOY THE HUMOR. MAN..

  • 369 Death // May 5, 2006 at 6:35 pm

    i wonder where they get their supply of cowboy meat, is there a farm for that i wonder? XD

  • 370 Anonymous // May 6, 2006 at 9:41 pm

    Thats so funny.How many chicken ears do you think they serve per meal?

  • 371 Firefly // May 7, 2006 at 10:30 am

    This is the funniest thing Ive ever seen, ever.

    For the person who said that this is fake is absolutely wrong, he/she probably doesnt know about the .JPG formats.

    .JPG formats are image formats with a very low filesize, which means a low quality, if an image has a white background and some black letters the contour of the letters will look blurred.

  • 372 Rita // May 9, 2006 at 2:45 am

    I got two things to say:
    First, English is not easy to learn. Its relatively easy for people whose mother language bases on the same structure. So Germans will understand the basics of English relatively quickly. And even if German English can be quite funny, it will still be understandable. On the other hand native English speakers wouldnt have too many difficulties with learning German, or maybe Spanish or French, because these languages have a lot in common . That changes if you try to learn languages with a completely different concept of how things are expressed. An English native will have a lot of difficulties to learn Chinese, because the grammar is so different. And its just as difficult for the Chinese to learn English! (Not to mention pronouncation and alphabet.)

    Second: Some people wrote that the restaurant at least took an effort to translate the menu into English, and that one should be ashamed to make fun of it because most Americans wouldnt even try to say something in Chinese. Well, if some Chinese tourist was trying to talk to me and it would sound funny I wouldnt jeer. But the restaurant is a public place. If you address customers you should take care that your translation is correct. Im a programmer and know what Im talking about. My English is quite good enough for conversation but I wouldnt want to write our manual in English - because my English is not THAT good. When I am not sure about an English word (say, on some dialog button or the like) - I ask a native! Im not asking Babelfish and dont give a damn. Have you never been upset about (or amused by) the gibberish you try to understand in your TV manual? Even in the TV manuals of well-known global-player companies?
    And thats why I would never jeer at a Chinese waiter trying to help with the menu and recommending cowboy leg. But a Cowboy leg as an item in a written menu? If ones addressing the public he should do it right. And if Id have to translate word by word with a dictionary because I dont speak the language at all, Id think about asking somebody who actually knows something - or just leave it! If not, well - I made a fool of myself. And that IS funny.

    This text probably contains German English. Feel free to hoot at it.

  • 373 Anonymous // May 11, 2006 at 5:46 am

    Im an American trying to learn Mandarin (not nearly good enough to try and read this menu, though). To everyone who is so offended, I say bah. My profs favorite phrase is you go to China and say that, people laugh at you. When I go to China to teach English next summer, I fully expect to be laughed at. Ill be disappointed if I dont get laughed at, because I know my Chinese isnt nearly good enough to avoid it.

  • 374 Anonymous // May 12, 2006 at 11:56 pm

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA freaking awsome best thing ive seen on the net!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my fave: Ginger Bumping Milk(hot)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 375 Anonymous // May 13, 2006 at 12:22 am

    I needed that laugh!

  • 376 Billy_1974 // May 14, 2006 at 7:33 pm

    So, what can i say about? It defenitionally have some plus.
    But every medal have got it`s back-side. Will see.

    Billy.

  • 377 Anonymous // May 15, 2006 at 11:54 am

    I re-read this after I was able to see the screen without tears in my eyes. And then I read Jons comment about the name of the restaurant and its intended audience and market positioning.

    Of course the owners dont give a damn if the English is awful in this menu! The English is there to convey a sense of exoticness of Western-ness. He said so explicitly. The restaurant does emphatically *not* seem to be trying to attract actual Western tourists who would not want to order fuck silk but rather to convey and ambiance of an Edinburgh or mei restaurant.

    Much like here in the USA, we have ridiculous Mexican or Italian restaurants that are run by huge corporations that have no idea of real Italian of Mexican culture, they just appropriate some vaguely ethnic-looking things and us white folk dont know any different.

    I suspect thats exactly whats happened here. The owners didnt give a shit if their menu was in mangled English, because the English was there only to make the the menu fit in with the Western image and food to go with all the beautiful pole food they serve.

  • 378 Hinrik // May 17, 2006 at 10:48 am

    FUCKING GREAT!!!!!!ALVEG FRÁBÆRT!!!

  • 379 Anonymous // May 22, 2006 at 4:58 am

    Well done! Fuck the salt is brilliant to conclude with.
    Now for the serious part: I was asked to translate a more or less Chinese menu and am not very keep on somebody posting my work of art. Any suggestions?
    Keep laughing and beware few of the dishes!

  • 380 Andrew // May 22, 2006 at 11:31 am

    To add more the the blind and ignorant minority who shallowly proclaim the faking of such a document and that the use of the document in such a context of racism:

    1. You must realize that it is not a fake due to its surreal disassociatedness. In fact the face value at which the Chinese characters are taken at is mirroring the face value you take this humor at.

    2. Wouldnt you consider it a fake if it were perfect, too? So doesnt image compression and artefacting now contradict your own point?

    3. Sometimes us Chinese appreciate ourselves being laughed at. Being a Singaporean Chinese, and having daily contact with China scholars daily, I find ourselves lauging at each other; us at their English, them at our Chinese. If neither of us can reach a compromise and derive laughter out of it, then this will be a rather sad way to take this matter.

    4. Racism: a form of discrimination based on race, especially the belief that one race is superior to another. Now tell me. What makes you think the author, a Chinese, is being racist? Or are you under the impression that the Chinese and the Chinese are a race apart?

    5. Even though there are people like me who pride ourselves on phonetic accuracy in both English and Chinese, we must also realize that though our language grasp is extensive, you must realize that their language grasp is intensive; Let me give you an example. In Singapore, fishball noodles are simply called yu2 yuan2 mian4, which is literally, fish ball noodles! Whereas in China, as you may have seen, visual, connotative and metaphorical evidence is put into play - things which cannot be translated without skill nor losing meaning; same goes for translating English idioms into Chinese.

    I hope that you would please consider the entire situation before making a comment, as such deconstructive commenting is of a negative influence and does nothing but to flamebait. Responders should also bear in mind to be objective and leave as little room to aggravate as possible.

    Just my 60 cents worth :)

    Haha first time I saw mentions of sex in a restaurant menu :D

  • 381 Anonymous // May 23, 2006 at 10:52 am

    These kind of translations arent fake, neither are they rascist.

    They happen everywhere when people try to help their customers a tad to much.

    With languages and cultures that far apart direct translation means nothing.

    So a direct translation of shredded silk is useless, since the reciever doesnt have the cultural background to connect it to dried shredded tofu.

    Google for the Star Trek TNG Episode Darmok for an extreme version of this.

    Even living in a country like sweden where people tend to think that we are good at english I see stuff like this almost everyday.
    And thats with two languages and cultures that are much closer than english and mandarin.

    The current favourite is:
    In the US its common for cars to have fart controls.

    Well, it should be nice, but fart actually means speed in swedish, so its a cruise control.
    (same root as far, ferry, fare and forth in english)

    I have to say that we are better at mangling english than brits and americans are at mangling swedish only because we know much more english than you know swedish.

    Same thing applies for most other languages, I promise you that a machine or dictionary translation of the menu of your local pub/steakhouse would be just as hilarious in chinese.

    I wonder if anyone would order a large rubberised raincoat for lunch

    As in Big Mac

    // hdw

  • 382 Eustace Bright // May 24, 2006 at 6:58 am

    How was the food?

  • 383 Anonymous // May 25, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    I could go on for a half a page of why this site is racist or i could just tell you this:
    white people, this is why over half the world wants you dead.
    remember 911 ?
    remember bali bombing ?

    *think about it*
    next time it could be your daughter or wife on that plane

  • 384 Anonymous // May 25, 2006 at 10:45 pm

    omg talk about engrish! ahhahh funniest thing im going to show it to all my friends so random i love it

  • 385 yumyum // May 28, 2006 at 7:05 am

    Man fruit braises the north almond? Black bowel, shrimp boils, cowboy leg. JJ living the bowel? I laughed so hard I wet myself.

  • 386 Kimala // May 30, 2006 at 8:43 pm

    This is hysterical!!!!! Jared is now going to print this and take it to his Chinese I class tomorrow! Should be entertaining!!

    Love,
    Your sister

  • 387 Suexilin // Jun 2, 2006 at 12:33 pm

    that was amazing..i laughed, of course, and its all so true.
    ive been living in China for 6 years already,i majored in chinese in university, and after 10 years of speaking the language with its creators, i have to tell you- when they speak any other language its a feat.:)
    By the way, go and check this pic on my flickr, it was taken last may in one restaurant in Dongzhimen, area heavily populated with foreigners. The restau of course was a pizza-buffet. See for yourself. :)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/suexilin/158843482/

  • 388 Anonymous // Jun 4, 2006 at 7:40 am

    please post this on http://www.engrish.com

  • 389 Anonymous // Jun 4, 2006 at 8:23 am

    LOL! I look stupid in the office reading and laughing by my self! Good Stuff!

  • 390 Anonymous // Jun 5, 2006 at 5:27 am

    Great! One of the funniest websites on the net. And this is no fake!
    I am living in China and bumping into mistranslations daily. To everybody who thinks laughing about translation mistakes is racist: well, I am laughed at by my Chinese co-workers as well! And I dont think this is racist in any way, for even my best friends do that from time to time. Not mastering a language can lead to most hilarious outcomes!

  • 391 Anonymous // Jun 9, 2006 at 9:13 pm

    thats awesome. I can read some of the chineseso i know what they are but youve put a HILARIOUS spin on it. thanks for the great laugh.

  • 392 Anonymous // Jun 14, 2006 at 2:44 am

    Wow. those arequite literal translations, although i cant really tell, since my chinese isnt getting any better. it was funny though :] only thing is, i have no idea why you chose to marry into a chinese family and have your kids live in china and then go on a trip that lasted for months and then come back and be asked to gain back weight. thats absurd.

    thats ok though. youre kids are really cute :] im not a pedo i promise.

    ~~~

  • 393 Anonymous // Jun 19, 2006 at 10:13 am

    Wow - a site with an American laughing at other people basterdising the English language. Now thats surely the funniest part of this site.

  • 394 Richard // Jun 19, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    During the time I was living in China, I was also bemused by menus like this. Then, I went on to learn Chinese. Even when I understood the Chinese characters, I still hadnt got the foggiest what the food were!! Asking my Chinese, assistant, she hadnt either!! Apparantly, many restaurants invent flowery names for their dishes that even the locals cannot understand!!

    Richard.

  • 395 Anonymous // Jun 19, 2006 at 1:16 pm

    How great is this menu. One word - Brilliant.

    Do you good speak Engrish?

  • 396 Twiglet // Jun 19, 2006 at 1:41 pm

    Oww!! My sides hurt, still laughing

  • 397 Lord_Piglet // Jun 20, 2006 at 4:05 am

    Absolutely brilliant! My wife is Chinese and has translators and software that give results like this, a minefield for those who do not have a full grasp of the English language. My attempts at speaking Cantonese and Mandarin seem to have similar results. Much hilarity among the family at times although others are much too polite to laugh! Wonderful country, wonderful warm people.

  • 398 Bratanniya // Jun 20, 2006 at 7:53 am

    A friend said So then how do you translate fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin. The duck chin part is clearly to be taken literally, as seen in various pics pulled up by Google image search (e.g. www.arthurhungry.com/pictures/aug04/duckchin.jpg). Fortunately we have a visiting scientist from Xinjiang in the building who could easily read the rest of the menu line. What it means reading literally from left to right is spicy salty (beauty extreme) duck chin or what could be given the English gloss of hot salty (height of deliciousness) upper duck neck.

    Hot turning into the ubiquitous fuck must have been those colloquial dictionaries doing their thing again.

    The menu is the laugh of the decade, and also strangest form of artistic perfection ever encountered.

  • 399 G. Val Hart // Jun 21, 2006 at 11:20 am

    This is too funny! Ive seen a lot of this in my travels and on a few websites, but never quite so bad!
    I run a small business that includes document and tattoo translation services to and from Chinese and have seen bunches come across my desk (confidentiality prevents me from disclosing more info than that), but this page is priceless! Worst case scenario here! Youve just been saved on my Favorites, Ill come back often to read whatever else you have here.

    Oh, I also enjoy reading what others post about your stuffone in particular on this page is by someone who couldnt get a good kanji translation because the only dictionary he had is in JapaneseI got a good belly laugh out of thatIm not sure what he really meant, but Japanese characters ARE Kanjimost of which are borrowed from the Chinese Hanzi (Language of the Han people, or Mandarin Chinese characters)perhaps he meant to say he wanted a Hanzi translation but all he had was a Kanji dictionary? I dont know, but it was funny anyway.
    Keep up the great work!

  • 400 Anonymous // Jun 25, 2006 at 5:57 am

    This is not funny at all. And as far as fakes go, this is a good one.
    I hate the stereotype all Asians are bad at English, dipshit.
    For non mandarin speakers this is the funniest shit in the world but if you understand it, its not funny at all.

  • 401 raznboyz4 // Jun 25, 2006 at 10:28 pm

    Okay, so tell me again, whats for dinner. . . .

  • 402 Lugubert // Jun 26, 2006 at 2:11 pm

    You USAmericans who dont understand that not everybody in all other countries have perfect command of your language, whats your opinion of this beauty:

    Where available, you can get 24 hour service.

    From a very large company, known all of the world. And its as USAian as can be.

  • 403 Michi // Jun 27, 2006 at 1:55 am

    be is indeed irregular in latin as well - and there is a linguistic argument to be made for this verb to be one of the most irregular verbs of any language. Irregularities occur among commonly used words of a language and the copula tends to be one of the very most used (if it exists as a separate word at all)

  • 404 Anonymous // Jun 27, 2006 at 9:13 am

    Every part of me hurts with laughing!!!! The funniest thing I have read in years!!!

  • 405 Anonymous // Jun 28, 2006 at 2:55 pm

    I really cant remember when I have last laughed like this. brilliant, thank you.

  • 406 Ryan // Jul 1, 2006 at 7:02 pm

    Quote:
    I could go on for a half a page of why this site is racist or i could just tell you this:
    white people, this is why over half the world wants you dead.
    remember 911 ?
    remember bali bombing ?

    *think about it*
    next time it could be your daughter or wife on that plane
    End Quote

    As a White American i find this comment offensive. While I must say America does many things wrong I find the killing of innocents the worst crime imaginable. I appologize if half the world can not find hummor in these thing.

    Good guys dont wear masks. My name is Ryan if you want to comment about my post.

    Also. I was in tears from laughter at Every form Rape.

  • 407 Anonymous // Jul 1, 2006 at 10:34 pm

    haha wow i would never eat from there

  • 408 Anonymous // Jul 3, 2006 at 2:11 pm

    Having lived with a Korean girl for the past couple of years and helping/watching her learn English all I can say is you need to have a sense of humor about this because of the amount of frustration that goes into learning English later in life.

    A couple of classics I got that made me pause:

    salad sauce

    we need to melt the meat

    This visuals of melting meat is pretty staggering.

  • 409 Anonymous // Jul 4, 2006 at 7:54 am

    I found this so funny my sides are killing me

  • 410 Anonymous // Jul 7, 2006 at 9:50 am

    Makes my mouth water with deliciousness!

  • 411 Urashima Keitaro // Jul 17, 2006 at 11:11 am

    whoa ahaha. the part with the fucks just made me laugh silly. im a chinese so i understand and its funny how they screwed up the english

    maybe i can make a quick buck helping restaurants in china translate their menus :p

  • 412 Anonymous // Jul 18, 2006 at 3:24 pm

    Lmao that is funny i was going through some sites the title i was looking for was Funny asian resturant names for one of my room names for habbohotel, but i came across this site as the first thing. But i like how they sell sprit - a.k.a Sprite. Why didnt they call it Spit? and the way they use the word fuck too lmao. anyways if anyone wants to talk about this funny translations contact me @ www.HabboHotel.ca my name is Dawn666 . Bye and keep up the posts!!!

  • 413 Anonymous // Jul 20, 2006 at 6:23 am

    omfg! this is soo funni!

  • 414 leatherargento // Jul 20, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    Your Engrish is soooooo Top of Cool. We are Livng. On! Down! In awe of you laughness-provision features!

  • 415 John T. Woods // Jul 21, 2006 at 7:49 pm

    Do I order this or agree with it?
    this is when i started to lose it. thanks for this.

  • 416 Anonymous // Jul 22, 2006 at 7:10 am

    LOL you are a riot !!!!! My fav is the Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole
    Sounds like a gay Porno !!!! LMAO

  • 417 Anonymous // Jul 22, 2006 at 7:10 pm

    Um, yeah not that funny.

  • 418 NarcoLeptic // Jul 24, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    duck bukkake! LMAO

  • 419 NarcoLeptic // Jul 24, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    duck bukkake! LMAO

  • 420 Anonymous // Jul 30, 2006 at 8:27 pm

    I printed this and I showed this to my friends and even to my TEACHERS!

    Too bad that some phrases, such as Fragant spring onion sauce explodescow son werent written as: Fragant spring onion sauce explodes cow son, same with carbon burns fatty cow New Zealand instead of farty.

  • 421 Anonymous // Jul 31, 2006 at 11:20 am

    I laughed so hard that i cried a little :D i really needed this

  • 422 Anonymous // Jul 31, 2006 at 3:45 pm

    Still wondering what Nixon means in Chinese.

    You should put a date along with the time comments are made.

  • 423 Koffee // Aug 5, 2006 at 9:48 am

    THAT! Is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life. Is there a blowup of the menu as-is?

  • 424 Anonymous // Aug 11, 2006 at 11:19 am

    Just to be fair to the person questioning the authenticity.. there is a hard edged box around ONLY the english translatios in the blue channel of the scans. It is very very subtle.

    I dont know if this is caused by jpg artifacts or if the text is pasted onto the menu which might put a blue cast on the scan.

    I lean towards some sort of scanning artifact since anyone capable of doing this well a photoshop job would have known to avoid that very simple mistake.

  • 425 Mark // Aug 11, 2006 at 3:15 pm

    First, to the guy who said this is why over half the world wants you dead. Wow. Just wow. People want other people dead because they laugh at some translation errors and the people laughing are the ones who need to rethink their outlook on life?
    To the master of bloviating who posted the following (mega-condensed):
    Although Anglo-Americans in general might find this funny, and yes, haha, little chuckle, this underscores a sad reality about Americans in general
    If an American travels to China, and makes even the smallest effort to know even a few words of Chinese, the locals are ultimately and completely appreciative and impressed by this effort; by comparison -
    This has nothing to do with racism, it has everything to do with Anglo-American Imperialism, Ignorance, and Intolerence. It is truely sad that we as Americans assume everyone should pander to our langauge
    BTW - Me: White guy, Write and Speak English Fluently not-sensible, not easy to understand langauges in existance
    IGNORANCE IS BLISS, DARE TO THINK

    1)effort. By comparison - You have started a new idea, therefore start a new sentence.
    2)imperialism, ignorance, and intolerance - (a twofer) These should not be capitalized, as they are not proper names. Also, it is spelled intolerance, not intolerence.
    3)truly, not truely
    4)language, not langauge
    5)write and speak English fluently - again, capitalization issues. Also, this is what makes me pick the nits of your post.
    6)languages, not langauges
    7)existence, not existance

    I point this out because you claim to be write and speak English fluently. Others have said we can only laugh at/with someone if we first offer to correct them. I am correcting you, so I can now laugh at you. Petty, isnt it?

    As far as this being racist, stereotypical, blah blah blah, get over yourselves you self-important gonads. What kind of racism is it when you think that laughing at something like this is so offensive to the originator that it must never see the light of day, out of fear of cwushing their wittle hearts, like theyre a bunch of children?

    And now, my funny foreign language story:
    A friend, who speaks decent Spanish, went to Mexico on a vacation. She was in with a group of locals (non English-speaking) in a bar, and was trying to communicate to them that she was quite warm and would like the air adjusted, or a cold beverage.
    However, she could not remember the proper way to say Im warm. so she blurted out (loudly) Tengo caliente!, which is slang for Im horny! You can bet your sweet bippy that the locals had fun laughing at the silly gringo for that mistake. And you know what? She has fun recounting the story.

  • 426 Patti L // Aug 14, 2006 at 1:45 am

    My eyes are still blurry from the tears that have formed while laughing hysterically!! The funniest thing I have ever seen on the internet! Thanx, I needed that.

  • 427 Anonymous // Aug 16, 2006 at 2:31 pm

    unbaleefaplie helahrius

  • 428 Anonymous // Aug 17, 2006 at 4:45 am

    Simply the funniest thing I have ever seen. I almost crapped myself from laughing so hard.

  • 429 pam singal // Aug 20, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    stupendously amusing. the tears are still rolling and i been here to re read this more times than i care to count.. a great find! a fantastic blog!

  • 430 Anonymous // Aug 25, 2006 at 10:42 am

    I also remember some scene from a book or movie, where one american guy decided to get a tattoo, and he chose the Kanji 大 and 便 because those traits, he thought, reflected best his characters. Unfortunately, this combination of Kanji has quite a different meaning in both Japanese and Chinese language

    Ha ha ha thats hillarious. For those of you who would like to know, 大便 means Bowel Movement or Excrement. LOL

  • 431 Anonymous // Sep 2, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    Ive never laughed this much :DDD

  • 432 Anonymous // Sep 11, 2006 at 6:36 am

    Im French, and can I say, Americans are no better, and are useless at all languages, even when theyve lived years in a place, and know so little about ethnic cuisine.

  • 433 jon // Sep 11, 2006 at 8:50 am

    As long as were throwing out blanket stereotypes, Pierre, has anyone else ever noticed that French people sound COCKY when speaking English? Lots of Of course, and Yes, I know that? It cant just be me. Oh yeah and you smell. Here are some more. it seems we know more than you think, Froggish

  • 434 Anonymous // Sep 15, 2006 at 6:55 pm

    Some of the funniest translations I have ever read. (Unfortunately I am at work reading these, and was trying so hard not to laugh, I ended up just crying instead, lol.)

  • 435 Anonymous // Sep 28, 2006 at 7:10 pm

    PIG AMERICANS!
    FUCK YOU!

  • 436 Anonymous // Sep 28, 2006 at 7:13 pm

    这不是简单的翻译问题,涉及到民族的文化,我承认里面很多翻译的的确很不象话,但是个中情由,岂是竖子可知?
    别把你的大牙笑掉了!!!!

  • 437 DaffyGrl // Oct 3, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    Very very funny. This gave me a much needed laugh at work (tho I almost burst a blood vessel trying not to laugh too loud). Some folks need to get a sense of humor. No one is making fun of a particular race. Bad translations are a hoot. I dont know much about Chinese culture, but I do know they have poetic names for food, and that doesnt translate wellobviously.

    I think my favorite is salty egg king steams the vegetable sponge because its like beat poetryon drugs! And Roasted Squid looks so bizarre on this menu because, well, it looks too NORMAL! LOL!!

  • 438 Anonymous // Oct 5, 2006 at 3:47 pm

    everything looks so appetizing! im suprised you could choose only one dish. but if youre on a budget, i suppose any form rape and sunkast would be a treat, eh?

  • 439 Anonymous // Oct 5, 2006 at 7:19 pm

    omg.. thats the best thing ive ever seen on the internet. omg

    duck bukkakke. lol

    props for that my friend!

  • 440 Anonymous // Oct 17, 2006 at 6:03 pm

    I find the complaints of racism sad (including the comment in Chinese by the supersensitive nationalist towards the end).

    And for our Puerto Rican friend, if you want to sell hot dogs, they are called 热狗 (regou = hot dog) in China, just for your information.

    I dont think laughing at this kind of thing is racist. Its just so damned funny seeing how the original Chinese can be transformed into such hilarious English.

    People have given all kinds of explanation for how it got that way. The answer has to be a combination of machine (or computer) translation and human error. Perhaps czs explanation is the right one.

    I liked the example of Einbahnstraße. It was really funny.

  • 441 Crystal Walrein // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:21 pm

    Bloody hilarious. Its the first time my face has tensed up with laughter.

    Unfortunately, its all too common and the Chinese government has decided to put an end to this mess.

  • 442 Anonymous // Nov 4, 2006 at 5:42 am

    Burn Fat Cow New Zealand - YUM!

  • 443 Anonymous // Nov 6, 2006 at 9:15 am

    I admit that its the worst translation, but you can also see how poor the English language is in expressing other cultures. Hey, those who have laughed off your teeth, have you ever tried Chinese, and have you observed what stupid mistakes the few Americans who have the courage to learn Chinese? I would say this is nothing funny, but it let us see the evil side of the American character.

  • 444 Anonymous // Nov 10, 2006 at 3:38 am

    its actually funnier if u know Chinese. haha. its so hilarious. frog plaster haha its xue ha in Chinese. its actually some part of the frog (the intestine or god-knows-what) thats supposed to be a delicacy. and yes, people do eat frog porridge. well i dun fancy any of those but some say frog legs taste like chicken

  • 445 Tammy // Nov 10, 2006 at 4:14 pm

    Cowboy is the literal Cantonese translation of ow jie (English phonics used.) The whole phrase means little cow, mini cow etc. It can also be translated to cow lad. Thus cowboy..

    Ow jie gwut is actually a very good dish. I think it was called Cowboy leg or bone in the menu.

    Ow jie gwut should actually be translated into Beef spareribs.

    Ow meaning cow, and the spareribs tend to be small, thus ow JIE (meaning little, mini) gwut.

    Mini beef spare ribs. TA Da.

  • 446 Anonymous // Nov 15, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    Too funny. Like it how some New Zealand produce made it onto the menu - made me so proud, sniff! (Because Im a NZer by the way). Anyway, take it for what it is without over analysing it. Asian speakers have a good laugh at how we botch their language too.

  • 447 Anonymous // Nov 15, 2006 at 7:14 pm

    I agree! Fuck the salt!

    Oh, and Ill have some Man Fruit thanks.

  • 448 Anonymous // Nov 17, 2006 at 9:50 am

    To whoever stated that one should try to learn Chinese before making fun of these English translations all I have to say is, this is much funnier if you can read BOTH the english AND the Chinese. As a non Chinese living in China for 7 years now, i can now speak, read and write the language (of course, no where near to fluent), but enough to, lets say, read a Chinese newspaper. I do have an appriciation for how difficult Chinese is. (Mostly difficult due to the characters). I also after having studied Chinese come to realise how difficult English (my mother toung) is for someone who has to learn it as a second language. It is because I can read both the english AND the chinese that I find it so funny. Knowing both languages, I know exactly how and why they translated it as they did, which makes it all the more interesting. To those who think this is not funny, start taking chinese lessons. Maybe in 5 years you too will find this posting funny.

  • 449 No Nonymous // Nov 17, 2006 at 10:15 am

    To whoever stated that one should try to learn Chinese before making fun of these English translations all I have to say is, this is much funnier if you can read BOTH the english AND the Chinese. As a non Chinese living in China for 7 years now, i can now speak, read and write the language (of course, no where near to fluent), but enough to, lets say, read a Chinese newspaper. I do have an appriciation for how difficult Chinese is. (Mostly difficult due to the characters). I also after having studied Chinese come to realise how difficult English (my mother toung) is for someone who has to learn it as a second language. It is because I can read both the english AND the chinese that I find it so funny. Knowing both languages, I know exactly how and why they translated it as they did, which makes it all the more interesting. To those who think this is not funny, start taking chinese lessons. Maybe in 5 years you too will find this posting funny like I, and one other Chinese poster living in the US. One good example is the F@#ck Silk. This comes from the characthers “干” and 丝“. (干 is a type of cooking method, like 干烧鲤鱼 but this character also has many other meanings in Chinese. The F word is one of the more recent ones to come out and is only modern day slang. This prbably shows how closely Chinese and English are related. The Character one of the many meanings of the character 干 is do (as in what are you doing ni 干(gan)什么”. The f#@ck meaning of the character 干 (do), is similar to the english meaning of the word do, as in, Who did Bill do last night. If you looke 干 up in the dictionary, one many translations that would probably come up is dry, which is the most common meaning of this character.

  • 450 Anonymous // Nov 17, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    Im still laughing.
    This was great.

    Ive already brought a few friends over.

    - Marc

  • 451 purrplekat1989 // Nov 20, 2006 at 5:50 am

    Yes.. Um Id like an order of Cowboy Led and Plaster w/ coconut Julie to go please?

  • 452 Kat // Nov 20, 2006 at 10:30 am

    Yes Id like to order a Cowboy leg with a side order of beautiful pole please.

    xD Keep up the good work

  • 453 Charlie Hiang // Nov 20, 2006 at 1:45 pm

    ROTFPMSL!!! I am in tears!

    That has to be the most hilarious example of Chinglish I have ever seen in my life!!! Ahahahahahaha!

    Yep, it most certainly is not fake coz Ive seen numerous examples, so there! Check the Wikipedia article for Chinglish!

  • 454 Anonymous // Nov 25, 2006 at 10:02 pm

    Rape:
    A European plant (Brassica napus) of the mustard family, cultivated as fodder and for its seed that yields a valuable oil. Also called colza, oil-seed rape

  • 455 MagickLorelai // Dec 1, 2006 at 4:14 pm

    This was good for a strong laugh. I think the reason that people find this funny is not because its, someone foreign messing up the language, but because the images the mistranslations conjur up are hilarious.

    Im sorry to those who were offended. Try to take these things at face value, instead of looking for things to be offended by. I laughed because, as someone with an ongoing love affair with English, language used in an odd way is funny to me (for instance, someone earlier today mentioned that he was getting sick from all of the sudden f*cktuations, which brought to mind being spontaneously snogged. HA!).

    I guesstry to ease up a bit. ^^ There are better ways to promote tolerance than by beating people over the head for laughing at something funny.

    Meanwhile, to the author, thanks for posting this!

  • 456 Alicia // Dec 5, 2006 at 4:39 pm

    Cashew Not. Well then what the hell is it? HAHAHAHA

  • 457 Anya // Dec 13, 2006 at 3:45 pm

    Oh come on, its not racist. In fact, most of the comments claiming it is have been 100 times more racist than the actual post, not least the presumption that anyone who posted saying they found this funny must be white. Im not white, is this meant to mean I inherantly dont have access to the internet or something? Seriously, get a grip and look at what you are saying.

    Its funny because its funny seeing the little nuances in languages, and how something can sound so sensible in one language and so ridiculous in another. And because the names are just so absurd. It would be equally hilarious had the same thing been translated from english into chinese by some white kid in Rhode Island. In fact, Ive seen menus very like this in france as well.

    And for all the well YOU try learning chinese comments, I have. Most of what I came up with was admittedly hilariously bad. However, I wouldnt scream RACISM! at someone for giggling at my terrible chinese.

  • 458 PretLetters // Dec 18, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    Thank you so much for this. It is really great, especially because of the comments youve put in there. I can read just a few lines and then have to stop to dry the tears from laughing of my eyes, so I can read a bit more.
    Really great! Thanks again,
    Barbara

  • 459 Anonymous // Dec 30, 2006 at 2:14 pm

    (quote)
    The worst typically come from the free translator of InterTran, a British company, and they are easily recognized since their Swedish vocabulary is mixed up with Norwegian (end quote)

    This is true, in my own misadventures in learning Norwegian (in which I will talk with a friend of mine from there) I try to translate, but certain characters which are used in Sweden not Norway show up in the words

    I thought this was hilariously funny. I dont think that it was racist at all. Thats just my opinion on how I read the thing. I wasnt thinking about how stupid the translatOR was, I was thinking about how funny the translatION was. Whether its real or not, it was still funny. Which doesnt make me racist or thinking that Chinese people are stupid. Not one iota.

  • 460 Anonymous // Jan 4, 2007 at 11:22 am

    It is extremely funny. However, it is also funny that the poster became nauseous after reading #1215. Check your dictionary.

  • 461 Brian Dalton // Jan 4, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    Oh sweet JesusIm reading this in the back of my truck at a truck stop, and I actually woke the drivers on either side, I was laughing so hard. They came banging on my door, and I showed them this when they asked what the hell was so funny.Both of them were having trouble standing by the end.

    BTW, give up on the idiots that dont think its funny. They arent comprehending you. Theyre too wrappped up in there own ignorance and misery to figure out that humor can either drive people apart OR bring people together. If people on both sides of a situation can laugh at it, then it brings them together.
    If one side takes offense, then, yes, it can drive a wedge between them. But the worst situation is when someone takes it upon themselves to take offense on someone elses behalf, who isnt necessarily offended. It demeans the other persons dignity. It says that you think that person isnt capable of taking up for themselves.

  • 462 Tony // Jan 9, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    anonymous appears to think this kind of stuff is made-up racist propaganda hum not in my experience. I came back to my hotel room in Beijing one night to find 3 cards slipped in under my door Take a look http://anthonydawson.thelasis.com/funny/index.htm I definitelly didnt make this up! Im still trying to figure out what some of these offers are!

  • 463 Anonymous // Jan 14, 2007 at 3:22 am

    Cant stop laughing! Cashew Not is my favoritesimple and paradoxical. To the people who say its racist, or its meant to make the Chinese look stupidit was most likely translated word-for-word by someone with a dictionary who just didnt know any English. Not knowing English =/= stupid. Besides, English speakers do the same thing all the time. Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead, anyone?

  • 464 Anonymous // Jan 16, 2007 at 11:26 pm

    oh my god,,,honestly they could have do it better thograb someone who fluent in Madarin and English instead of internet translation service.

  • 465 Anonymous // Jan 19, 2007 at 11:18 am

    I laughed more at your comments than on the menu items.

    Precious!!!!

    Thanks for posting this. You made my day!

  • 466 urbnmonk // Jan 19, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    I laughed so hard I couldnt finish it. Great, engrish rules

  • 467 Anonymous // Jan 19, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    Thank You, thank you, thank you.
    A perfect pick-me-up after a long week.

    Im glad I went to Hong Kong rather than mainland China.

    Brilliant!

  • 468 Anonymous // Jan 19, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    hmmm ppl need to get over jpeg for every pic they use png would cleared up the artifacts greatly

  • 469 Quilik // Jan 19, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    !!! thats the best laugh alone in a long time

    brilliant ;)

  • 470 Tungsai // Jan 19, 2007 at 1:30 pm

    LOL!!!!

    I CANNOT BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 471 Tanya // Jan 19, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    I was literally rofl. Couldnt stop. Tears rolling down face.

  • 472 Anonymous // Jan 19, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    Burn the spring chicken
    love it
    www.glendalegolfs.com

  • 473 Anonymous // Jan 19, 2007 at 6:12 pm

    West Lake beef geng
    in the HIZOUSE boyeee!!
    *throws sign that oddly resembles some Chinese character*

  • 474 the Mad Pigeon // Jan 19, 2007 at 6:44 pm

    Thats too rich I almost had to change my pants after reading this!

    Ive posted a link to this at my site; this post definitely needs wider exposure!

  • 475 小魔 // Jan 19, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    This is funny shit!! Jon how did you finish your dinner!?

    I am a Cantonese speaking Chinese and I have to say For every Chinese who think this post is showing racism is an idiot

    Those people should make sure they are not finding it hilarious in their entire life when they see another person who is incapable of holding chopsticks in a restaurant.

    I feel bad for all the Westerners who are often accused of being racism because of these cultural groups.

  • 476 Gareth // Jan 19, 2007 at 7:46 pm

    Oh god thats too good! Im almost in tears.
    Really cheered me up. Thanks for taking the time to post this for us!

  • 477 Anonymous // Jan 19, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    Thanks, cant stop laughing but they are pity, they must have checked every single word from a dictionary, poor Chinese

  • 478 JC // Jan 19, 2007 at 9:36 pm

    Augh I think I may have fractured a rib from laughing so much. And as for the people who think this is racist or discriminatory get a life. Im an ABC American Born Chinese. Im fluent in spoken Mandarin, but couldnt read it to save my life. Im not offended at all.

    I had my folks take a look at it and translate some of it. They said a lot of it was a literal word for word subsitution and some phoenitic substition. Having spent several years in South East Asia Hong Kong, Singapore, Taipei etc, Ive seen this kinda goof up plenty of times before.

    And if you think Americans are the only people who find bad translations funny then you need to get a clue. Why do you think the Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries? Hrm No va literally means it doesnt go. Or when Pepsi screwed up their slogan in China, Makes you feel young again, ended up coming out as Brings your ancestors back to life.

  • 479 JC // Jan 19, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    Augh I think I may have fractured a rib from laughing so much. And as for the people who think this is racist or discriminatory get a life. Im an ABC American Born Chinese. Im fluent in spoken Mandarin, but couldnt read it to save my life. Im not offended at all.

    I had my folks take a look at it and translate some of it. They said a lot of it was a literal word for word subsitution and some phoenitic substition. Having spent several years in South East Asia Hong Kong, Singapore, Taipei etc, Ive seen this kinda goof up plenty of times before.

    And if you think Americans are the only people who find bad translations funny then you need to get a clue. Why do you think the Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries? Hrm No va literally means it doesnt go. Or when Pepsi screwed up their slogan in China, Makes you feel young again, ended up coming out as Brings your ancestors back to life.

  • 480 Anonymous // Jan 19, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    haha well i am a singaporean chinese so i can read chinese and it reallie cracks me up, they are literally translating directly word for word into english hhahaha hilarious. this does not happen in singapore btw, at least i have nvr encountered anything remotely like this here anyway

  • 481 SannzyPoo // Jan 20, 2007 at 1:28 am

    lol thats great.

  • 482 Anonymous // Jan 20, 2007 at 2:10 am

    What city is this restaurant in? I would be surprised if it is in a city with many Chinese restaurants. Chinese restaurants tend to copy each others menus. This kind of babelfish translation wouldnt happen if they just looked at another menu.

  • 483 just-a-native-Chinese-speaker // Jan 20, 2007 at 2:37 am

    Funny stuff. I think the menus author deliberately mistranslated some items. For example, Good to eat mountain is the translation for a wine if translated literally would mean flower sculpture. There is no connection there.

    Another example is the last item, Fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin. The literal translation would be pepper salt (beautiful grade) duck chin. There is no possible connection to fornication in any of those words.

    So enjoy the comic book the author wrote. It worked.

  • 484 Anonymous // Jan 20, 2007 at 7:43 am

    I know from personal experience that restaurants can have bad translations, but why dont YOU try translating them?

    And not every restaurant in China has terrible translations like these so stop your occasional racist comments.

    But you can blame them for not trying. ;) Its the worst attempt I have seen so far.

  • 485 Nick // Jan 20, 2007 at 9:16 am

    Thanks for posting this. I havent laughed so hard in a long time! HILARIOUS! Completely lost it ROTFL!
    ;o)

  • 486 hehe // Jan 20, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Nice language. funny.

  • 487 jon // Jan 20, 2007 at 4:01 pm

    the restaurant is in Foshan, Guangdong. Its called Edinburgh Western Restaurant, and its quite good - i recommend the lab shank.

  • 488 sherry // Jan 20, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    Funniest damn thing I have EVER read online!!!

    I have not EVER laughed so hard at something I read online as I just did reading that. I literally (and I do mean literally, not like when some people say it not knowing what literally means) was on the floor laughing, tears streaming down my face , slapping the floor until I was couging ( not completely over that flu yet) until I nearly barfed.

    My husband and son came in to read it too and were almost laughing as hard as I was.

    The coughing fit it spawned was completely worth it!

  • 489 kyoten // Jan 21, 2007 at 2:23 am

    God damn. I think I just made a pee pee in my pants from laughing so hard . . . . . . . . Also possibly a poo poo. . . . .

  • 490 Charlie Huang // Jan 21, 2007 at 9:12 am

    [quote]Another example is the last item, Fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin. The literal translation would be pepper salt (beautiful grade) duck chin. There is no possible connection to fornication in any of those words.[/quote]

    Actually, the pole you are referring to is 极 meaning extreme. In this case, it refers to 北极 or North Pole (lit. extreme north), so there is a connection there!

  • 491 Anonymous // Jan 21, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    Absolutely amazing.

  • 492 Anonymous // Jan 22, 2007 at 12:38 am

    Ah Chinglish at its best

  • 493 Trez // Jan 22, 2007 at 11:19 am

    Come on, people, this isnt racist. I assure you, my Chinese and Japanese friends are laughing just as hard at white folks who get those uber-popular kanji tattoos that dont always mean what the second-rate tattoo shop tells you they mean. (The only difference is, unlike this menu, those things are permanent.)

  • 494 Anonymous // Jan 22, 2007 at 4:10 pm

    This is just another example of how dumb the chinease are. I always new those yellow people were inferior. thats why they burnt all of their books and killed all their intellectuals. Isnt that why they cut themselves off from the internet so the rest of the world wont figure out how dumb they are?

    Sike! That is what racist comments would look like dumb asses. Making fun of a menu has nothing to do with race!!! This would be clearly obvious if he was making fun of german-american translations.

    What race would you say he was picking on therethe german race? It is incidental and unrelated to the funnyness that the people who speak chinese are generally not white.

  • 495 Jennifer // Jan 23, 2007 at 9:23 am

    Man, this is crazy. They sure love that Cowboy Leg, Ive gotta try that.

  • 496 Ian // Jan 25, 2007 at 11:25 pm

    Man I just got done reading this and by the end I was in tears from laughing so hard. I am somewhat proficient in Chinese, so it made the translations that much funnier. Thanks for the laughs.

  • 497 tangulzsa // Jan 31, 2007 at 12:03 am

    hahaa.
    this is totally hilarious.
    though it really isnt easy translating chinese to english.

    the funniest translation i have ever seen was swallow-fish-sand-bread which was actually tuna fish sandwich.
    i couldnt stop laughing.
    hahaaa:)

  • 498 Anonymous // Feb 1, 2007 at 11:52 pm

    Truthfully, I think its rude to mock their mistakes, I mean yea its funny.. but you shouldnt make fun of them. Theyre trying their best to start over in their lives.

  • 499 Garrett // Feb 13, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    Oh dear! Cant help but laugh out loud.
    After years of living in and traveling around Japan, China, and Korea, I thought Id seen some funny mistranslations, but I hadnt seen anything.

    Ive never seen such a literal verbatim translation. Hilarious.

  • 500 Sara // Feb 15, 2007 at 10:21 pm

    cant stop laughin Cool Post!!!
    I really lost in translation! lol!

    =========
    www.yeah-oops.com

  • 501 Duzi Guide // Feb 19, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    Great post.

  • 502 Anonymous // Feb 20, 2007 at 6:33 am

    Dude, seriously. Kick ass.

    You made my day. Too bad over sensitive assholes read it ruined some of the laughter and joy it brought me. But still, i just broke up with my boyfriend too! It made me feel a lot better.. LOL

    Keep posting! Ill make sure everyone i know reads this hilarious menu.

  • 503 Anonymous // Feb 20, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    Okay, when it says F**k the salt( beautiful pole) duck chin what is the pole? Do I want to know?

  • 504 Anonymous // Feb 22, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    Man this is seriously outrageous, I am so rolling on the floor, I cant stop laughing, its better than mushroomsand cowboy leg. lol,lol,lol

  • 505 Cals // Feb 22, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    OMG! HAHA! Excellent! Thats for that!

  • 506 Anonymous // Feb 23, 2007 at 7:38 am

    Its real funny! I dont think you guys could understand why they translate a Hong Kong produce Maggies sauce into Beautiful Pole. Its one of the Hong Kong famous sauce like soya bean sauce in the 70s. Anyone living in HK can buy a bottle of Maggies sauce. In Chinese pun, Maggie turns into extremely delicious.
    Now, gay guys cant wait to order a cowboy leg and his beautiful pole which is extremely delicious. LOL

  • 507 May // Feb 25, 2007 at 8:07 am

    this definitely had me laughing and falling onto the floorhahaha

  • 508 Anonymous // Mar 1, 2007 at 12:44 pm

    Whats with all the stupid racist accusations ( the accusers sound racist to me - by stereotyping English Americans as language ignorant !)
    This is just so funny - Im an englishman who speaks a little Spanish French - Years ago I made myself look a right plonker by ordering bacon half a dozen thursdays in a small spanish village shop - I dont think that the shopkeeper was racist cos he nearly wet himself laughing You gotta laugh at life, its too short for anything else ..

  • 509 Anonymous // Mar 3, 2007 at 12:23 pm

    yes, i do love classical music. I particually enjoyed your piece on Beethoven, (the strings were amazing, could you kindly send me the number of the violinist). I am positive that your most excellent work will be appreciated throughout time. Keep up the good work, will visit soon.xx

  • 510 Anonymous // Mar 5, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    I rarely post comments, but these food descriptions are downright funny! I live in the US and sometimes go to authentic Chinese places. While there are pig ears and intestines on the menu, I want to send this to my white boyfriend and tell him hes darn lucky I havent taken him to a restaurant using translations with duck chins, black bowels, or explodescow on the menu! Do chickens even have ears? :)

    Come on, if you cant find humor in deciding between items like wood flower picks sea cucumber hoof or the strange flavor of inside freasuse, then theres just not much you can laugh at and I feel sorry for you.

    Also, Id like to point out that the bad translations on this menu are hilarious because they are extremely bad and not usual. This is precisely why it was posted - which is also why it is not trying to perpetuate a stereotype. The poster says outright that he was stunned by the English blunders. He lives in China and was stunned by this. Now does that indicate that this menu is something common or uncommon? Hmmm

    Anyone who has tried to learn a foreign language or traveled where their native tounge wasnt spoken can likely relate to it, having had some similar incident. Liberal use of one word or catch phrase is common when you dont know much vocabulary; you just cross your fingers and hope the other person understands what you mean. There are also so many meanings for the same word that it often leads to many innocent translations being botched, even in the same country, e.g., the workers needed to pack fudge sign at a factory in MN.

    When we laugh, we are not laughing because we think we are superior to them and that every Chinese menu in China is like this, but because we all have made these types of mistakes and can relate.

    Personally, those comments about how offensive this is are much more offensive to me than the posting. Those people obviously think they are superior to someone who finds it to be funny. Futhermore, they claim those finding it funny to be ignorant on that basis alone, as if they dont understand what racism is at all. Thank you very much, but I do not need to be told what I should be offended by. And, I dont think anyone else reading one of those comments thought, WOW, I see how wrong I was to laugh now! I was so ignorant before, but now I see the light! I would like to see someone who finds it offensive give a good explaination as to WHY this particular post is perpertuating racism or stereotypes, as none of the previous comments on it do.

    While Im at it, as a Chinese American, it was sad for me to read a comment on being embarassed to be Chinese because of examples such as this menu. Would you ever see a white person claim they are embarassed to be white because the average American can only read at a fifth grade level and uses grammar at an even lower level? Or because former VP Dan Quayle spelled potato with an e? Nope, they say that is an embarassment to the American society, not to white people. Geez, get some perspective - does every mistake a Chinese person makes reflect badly on you, personally? That seems a heavy burden to carry.

    For those with humor, I will end my rant with a good note. Theres a restuarant near me that chose Pho King as its name. For those who dont know, pho is a Vietnamese noodle dish and is often mispronounced over here as faux, but the proper pronounciation is with an a, as in fa of the sing songy fa-la-la-lalah. Think about it. :) hehe!

  • 511 Anonymous // Mar 6, 2007 at 1:24 am

    Oh, this is great. :) And really, mistranslations are universal, theres nothing rascist about them. No, not everybody in the world has to know English-on the other hand, if you translate something, there comes a certain assumption on the part of the reader that you have at least the vaguest idea what the fuck youre doing. If I try to write something in a language I dont speak, Im going to have to expect it to come out pretty bloody funny. My pastor when I was a kid had a story about his time in Japan, when he accidentally called the young daughters of several of his congregation prostitutes. It happens to everybody. Laughter is healthy. :)

  • 512 Edward // Mar 7, 2007 at 11:19 pm

    Jesus tapdancing Christ. I swear I never faltered to such hilarity in such a long time. I think I actually got a fucking headache from laughing so hard. Not to metion, with my cough, it didnt help the pain much. Even my friends on an online game I play along with couldnt help but crack up as I posted comments and blurbs from this little gem. Ahahaha.

    Absoutly brillant! Specular! The moument of utter parody! Mistake or no, it was just so utterly amusing, its like a train-wreck. How the hell can you turn away? Think about it.

    Honestly. I fail to see how this meets any criteria of being, racism, then it simply lampoons the aspects of poor translation. Racism is defined in purpously attacking someone of a particular race of cultre as by lifestyle, habits and any other form that is clearly part of ones natural race. None of the things outlined, or MSTed, I should say in this entry even come close to bordering any of those.

    However, going back and making comments using words that pretains to the defamatory professment of ones race or culture such as whittie, cracker, half-breeds whatever you may is only a blatant epitome of irony and hypocrissy. So unless you can actually make a point without sticking the preverbal foot in said mouth, it may be best to refrain from saying anything, lest you wish to look like a bumbling jackass.

    Also. I had to add, sorry for the overly lenghty post. But Bukkake isnt a soba noodle. It pretains to something way off of anything food. Someone who obviously hasnt looked into the definiton of what it means would clearly mistake the word as food related. Its far from it. Believe me. And if anyone actually looks into it, the results will astound anyone.

    Anyway. Keep up the splendid work. You absoultly mastered the form of mocking prose not to metion turing something so obviously mistranslated into a form of utter hilarity. Keep up the good work. Kudos!

  • 513 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2007 at 7:45 pm

    lab shank!? You meant lamb or labrador?? teehee

  • 514 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2007 at 12:27 am

    Thank you for making me laugh harder than I have in a long time - and this coming from someone whos wrapping up her second year living in Beijing!!

    My personal fave was not a restaurant sign, but a sign I snapped a picture of while passing through the airport in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia. It read:

    -
    WOrN
    Honorific Passenger
    Please board from two sides downstairs
    -

    The sign, by the way, was located on the first floor of the airport, and positioned so as to be viewable while one rode down the escalator to the baggage claim area. To this day I still want to know what I was supposed to board, how I was (as a single individual) supposed to board whatever-it-was from two sides, and where the other downstairs of the airport might be located!! ;)

    Keep it coming. This was great.

  • 515 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2007 at 7:39 am

    yummy

  • 516 Anonymous // Mar 28, 2007 at 7:19 pm

    I definitely dont see the post itself as being racist. Its the way people respond to such blunders that decide whether racism is involved. There could well be people laughing because they think such blunders reflect the inferiority and ignorance of the speaker/writer. As a Chinese living in Hong Kong, I laugh at these because of the combinations of words and the unintended but funny association. I am not laughing at these people thinking they are stupid. Dont we laugh at the mistakes made by Cantonese speakers when they speak Putonghua incorrectly? I dont think we should drag political correctness into everything.

  • 517 Dustin // Apr 2, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    ive read this page dozens of times and I still crack up.

  • 518 Anonymous // Apr 4, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    Ducks have chins? Well

  • 519 Anonymous // Apr 7, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    Geat stuff - thanks for putting this up on the web. Ive travelled around the world and seen this kind of stuff in lots of places. However,I must say that this is the most extensive and funniest Ive seen.

    My personal favorite is one that I found on a lunch menu while trekking in Nepal: Hot Sewer

    (When trekking, you can buy a HOT SHOWER at some places - the mistake was obvious and funny as hell.)

  • 520 Ladyfox7oaks // Apr 9, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    These read like the things I catch in my SPAM Filter

  • 521 The Project Manager // Apr 13, 2007 at 12:43 pm

    This was awesome reminded me of my first year living in Italy and learning the language (Im a native English speaker).

    I recall telling a friend in Italian, I live on such-and-such street, my doorbell is marked blowjobs Turns out the former resident of my apartment and the word for oral sex were off by just a couple of letters.

    Pontini versus Pompini. I got ribbed for years for that

    I also used to confuse the word for ring and lamb (anello versus agnello). When I got engaged there was much amusement

    -M

  • 522 Pottsy // Apr 16, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    I am crying, I am laughing so hard. Cannot be made up. Too funny

  • 523 Valis // Apr 18, 2007 at 11:04 am

    omg great now my co-workers are convinced im having epileptic seizures.

    im going to have to repost this on my own blog you know

    Valis
    http://valiskeogh.livejournal.com

    drying my tears

  • 524 Anonymous // Apr 20, 2007 at 9:29 pm

    Seriously LMAO!!!!!

    For those of that are critiquing the scanning/uploading..whatever of this menuget a life! Just enjoy the hilarity of it!! Im Asian and think its fin hysterical!!!

  • 525 Anonymous // Apr 20, 2007 at 9:53 pm

    For those of you that find this offensive, racist, analyzing the translation to death and whatever elseGET A LIFE and just ENJOY the humor of it !!! If you dont like it..move on and dont come back. If you havent noticed this is not the only site on the world wide web. I feel sorry for yall that cant simply find the humor in life and have to be PC 24/7 !!!

  • 526 Anonymous // Apr 21, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    Dude, I am laughing so hard my side hurts. I think my fav is :
    The West bean buys the fish a soup.

  • 527 Emalf // Apr 28, 2007 at 6:54 am

    I cant help laughing, since I understand both the Chinese and other which seems to be English.

  • 528 Anonymous // May 1, 2007 at 11:44 pm

    LMAO!!! This is so funny! Thanks for taking the time to put this on the net so people that arent living here can enjoy what we see everyday. China should have stayed with traditional charactors. I think these errors are partially from over simplifying :o)

  • 529 anon // May 2, 2007 at 11:26 am

    i think i would go for the cowboy man fruit? man i am fuckin hungry!!!

  • 530 Nosaj // May 4, 2007 at 10:50 am

    Yup, pretty much the same results I had when I tried to translate a menu. Now I just point to a meat a recognize, but Im thinking of going with Wo yao su-sir sir-pin I want vegetarian food. I found out that names tend to change with the time too. Hardest part of chinese is the most useful. Irony, thy name is flying plate delivers ignorant foreigner with sliced sun in eyes.

  • 531 Andrew // May 5, 2007 at 8:52 am

    For those of you that find this offensive, racist, analyzing the translation to death and whatever else…GET A LIFE and just ENJOY the humor of it !!! If you don’t like it..move on and don’t come back. If you haven’t noticed this is not the only site on the world wide web. I feel sorry for y’all that can’t simply find the humor in life and have to be PC 24/7 !!!

    yeah but these people have the right to free speech just like you do. They can write that they think youre racist, just as you can write that you think theyre sad, pathetic, humorless, etc. You have to be fair.

  • 532 Jameson // May 6, 2007 at 5:40 am

    ahaha those were great. i almost died laughing like 7 times, they really do like their cowboy meat lol

  • 533 chintor // May 7, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    特價品 DOES mean bargain item. whats so funny about that? .though the one underneath means fried spring chicken, which isnt quite as funny, but still pretty funny.

    Actually, whats really funny about this is that most of these translations are _ALMOST_ correct, but have very obvious mistakes caused by whatever dictionary they used on the internet. Like the stanza thing in the first pic, thats actually a literal translation of the word 莭假, which unfortunately is only the first part of the proper chinese word 莭假日, which means holiday.

    西多士 is just the cantonese chinese pronunciation of sidurst. the problem is that sidurst doesnt mean anything (that im aware of).

    cowboy is what happens when the online dictionary just parces 牛 and 仔 separately instead of together as one word. together, 牛仔 is just young cow, or veal.

    pearl picks is a literal translation from the chinese. what the hell does that mean? good question.

    the farmer is small to fry the king, if properly parsed, should be as he fried the king, the farmer was young, which doesnt make any damn sense. its almost the young farmer fried the king.

  • 534 jfJbKJfnBznbvzb // May 8, 2007 at 1:52 am

    fuck you ass hole

  • 535 Zhang Fei // May 9, 2007 at 6:58 pm

    Wow - a bona fide mangled English menu all the way from Fut (as in rut) Sahn, home of the Wing Chun style of martial arts (as practiced by Bruce Lee). Jon Rahoi, the blogs author, is right - Chinese restaurants like this typically drape their menus in Western lettering in order to appear cosmopolitan - the target of these translations isnt Westerners, but Chinese. The translations are, in effect, a part of the ambience. They style themselves Western restaurants, but serve Chinese food that locals consider Western food, because to serve authentic non-Chinese food would be (a) too expensive because a lack of cheap local sources for ingredients, and (b) a recipe for going out of business, since Chinese really, really dont enjoy non-Chinese food.

  • 536 annon // May 15, 2007 at 11:37 am

    Where is this restaurant?

  • 537 Anonymous // May 17, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    I agree with chintor. The translator doesnt know any English. The menu is translated word by word with the help of a Chinese-English dictionary. It takes time to understand the subtle differences of what each word implies under culture references. I wont laugh at all if I have not lived in an English speaking culture for over a decade. It is a sad example of trying to construct a English meaning when one doesnt really understand the Chinese meaning of the underline menu.

  • 538 Anonymous // May 18, 2007 at 12:09 pm

    Because I was perplexed by why the word *fuck* has disturbingly occurred so many times (forgive me to quote this F word from the menu translation). I try to figure out why the translator chose this particular word. It makes me looked up three different versions of Chinese-English, English-Chinese dictionaries. I also looked up on Merriam-Webster’s an Oxford English-English dictionary.

    As it turns out, it fits the first meaning as a noun in *A NEW ENGLISH-CHINESE DICTIONARY* published by 上海译文出版社 (Shanghai Translations Publisher). I will be very pleased to exchange ideas if you have another explanation. So, if you happen to have the 1985 edition of this dictionary, please turn to page 505, under the word *fuck*, the first meaning under noun (n.) is *一丁点儿,些微 (English meaning is a little bit, some, not a whole lot, not much): I don’t give a ~. 我才不管哩。* This is precisely why the menu translator used the F word if there is a little bit (not too much) of one kind of ingredient. For example, scroll down to the last item of this menu, *椒盐(美式)鸭下巴-Fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin. The actual meaning is Very Delicious Duck Chin with *a little bit* of Pepper Salt.

    Another example on the menu *各式油菜- Every from rape*, on page 1100 of the above dictionary, the third meaning of the word *rape* as a noun (n.) is 油菜(English meaning is Chinese Bok Choy)。 If you happen to not familiar with this vegetable, you can take a look the images at the URL- http://images.google.com/images?um=1&tab=wi&channel=s&client=firefox-a&hl=en&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=Bok+Choy
    I believe most English speaking people have seen this popular Asian vegetable on their local grocery stores.

    The third most mentioned example is the word *silk*. On page 1276 of the above dictionary, the first meaning as noun (n.) is *蚕丝,丝,丝织品,丝绸* (English meaning: thin threads made by the silkworm, thin thread, product made from, silk). As you can see the translator cannot differentiate the English meaning of *silk* from the *thin thread*, because it resemble by the same Chinese character *丝*。Therefore, the two characters *干丝* on the menu are mistranslated as *fuck silk* instead of * a little of (so and so ingredient) cut to very thin like a thin thread made by the silkworm*.

    to be continued in the next post

  • 539 Anonymous // May 18, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    post2-continue from last post
    This is just three of the mistranslated examples. Please bear in mind that Chinese schools (esp. Mainland China), education programs and dictionaries are based on *British English*, but not based on American English. It also seems like most of the editors/translators of the main stream Chinese-English, English-Chinese dictionary have not lived in an English speaking country, or at least not long enough to pick up all the culture reference underline each words or phrases. Also, all the subsequent editions of A NEW ENGLISH-CHINESE DICTIONARY are *probably* all based on the original 1970 edition. If the 1970’s edition took ten years to complete, then the 1970’s edition was actually based on 1960s or earlier British English standard. As we all know, a lot of new meanings of particular English word has evolved followed by the obsolete of certain old meanings over the last 50 or 60 years.

    If you are interested in the Chinese characters and the translation, you can find the 1988 edition of A NEW ENGLISH-CHINESE DICTIONARY on Amazon.com, ISBN 0295966092. This dictionary is the most popular dictionary among mainland Chinese. You can find more information of the dictionary when google the web.

  • 540 Anonymous // May 18, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    post3- continue from post2
    On a different note, the Chinese characters on the menu cut-outs seem not to coordinate with each other. Some menus cut-outs used transitional Chinese character, which mainly used in Taiwan and Hong Kong. The cut-outs with traditional Chinese characters don’t have price listed. However, other menu cut-outs used the simplified Chinese character, which only used in Mainland China, have price all listed as 元 (yuan),which is mainland currency.

  • 541 Anonymous // May 18, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    post4-continue from post3
    Enthusiastic Chinese food lovers probably would not mind to work on a correct translation if the blog owner would not mind to pass on the correct translation next time he visits the place or can contact the place in any way. By the way, as you can tell, I am not the native English speaker; so, please forgive me if I made any grammatical mistakes in this post.

  • 542 Ken // May 21, 2007 at 5:39 am

    Well at least their English is better than my Chinese :-)

  • 543 EAD // May 22, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    I love it! Sweet cream, this is getting bookmarked for future use! I think my faves were wood flower picks sea cucumber hoof benumbed hot vegetables fries fuck silk and salty egg king steams the vegetable sponge. Imagery resulting of reading those nearly made me wet myself laughing.

  • 544 Melanie // May 22, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    My husband is just sitting there STARING at me because I am CRYINGlaughing so hard. And its been ten minutes. I am telling everyone I know. Thanks for the best laugh Ive had in a long time.

  • 545 Mix // May 24, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Ill add the sheet iron, please.

  • 546 Uieios // May 26, 2007 at 12:30 am

    Please dont be offended, people. As Anonymous Mar18 said, this is funny because of the word combinations, not because its intended to be condescending. I frankly have much more respect for the Chinese civilization than the Western. But look at this stuff, this is gold.

    Slippery meat in kings vegetables ? How do you rethink that as something edible? How about the Fresh sparerib in Kyoto? Do you have to fly there to have it? Did the Benumbed vegetables have to get drunk to fry the fuck silk? And my favorite: A west bean pays the fish a soup. What was the fish selling, and how much of it did the west bean get for a soup? I would have ordered that one just to see what it was, because the image in my head is HILARIOUS.

  • 547 finxiang // May 26, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    wow,take it easy,just for fun,not relative to racism

  • 548 Hiu // May 27, 2007 at 7:39 pm

    There are so many comments but what sticks out to me are the hurt Chinese ones in regards to people making fun of Chinese culture or people. I want to share with you that I was one of you before, as I grew up in Europe (am Chinese ethincally) and went through a period where I felt I was different, really wanted to be appreciated and at the same time not noticed for my difference. I now live in China for 4 years working in the media and I somehow managed to come to terms with China.

    We have problems here and we are learning to do things the better way. I have a menu story of my own, my mother bought a tiny little dumpling shop in Beijing and tried to run it for one month.I helped her with the menu because she hired a local company to translate the menu for her. The menu came out the same way because the translation company was run by lazy Chinese people who thought they could make a buck on translating with their software but since clients can not read or check, it didnt matter to them.

    As a matter of fact, Chinese restaurant people do care, they translated the menu so you can read and order, Come on! we are into making money! The ones who dont are the owners of the multi-translation/print/fax/computer shop next to the fruit shop or something.

    But many people are not well versed in English, the education system here is a lot about memorisation which doesnt help the total immersion of a language or culture and last but not least, it is true, some less developed CHINESE cities still have the attitude of as long as its done its ok and they do not care a lot about perfection or quality.

    You have to realise that marketing and branding and all that only came to China since the 80s, so it still takes time for all of China to catch on to whats happening in the major cities and new trends and way of doing things.

    So I did in fact spend four days translating this damn menu again for my mom as we also got golden fuck needle mushroom or something like that, the ending of this story is:

    She got tired of her business venture and sold it to another owner in one months time.and my well translated menu? Oh well, I think she chucked it somewhere.. ;)

    All I can say is I often find my office staff cheating work by translating sometimes with this software and I even get some pretty crazy stuff to read in my office! I have banned this software misuse now as I explain to them that it just doesnt work as you cant translate Chinese word by word. It is simply not feasible.

    We somtimes put two or three words together to form a new word! Computer is Dian Nao (electric computer - if translated word by word)

    And one last thing, one reader wrote about words being in Hong Kong Chinese and that it must have been a non-responsible American or something like that..I disagree with that and I think you are talking from a hurt viewpoint. What you need to realise is that being Chinese means helping China and the culture to be understood. Not make excuses and point the finger at another country or culture? It doesnt even make sense!

    If my mom hired an American to translate her menu, it would probably turn out better than the irresponsible local translation serviceBy the way it was not cheap either and my mother was really angry that they charged us so much money for this crap translation without any professional duty or shame.

    Whatever you say, people do not ruin their own or other peoples language intentionally, only mistranslations and computer translation softwares do that without emotions, any thoughts or understanding to whats being processed.

    I just had to say this to all the ethnically Chinese people with a chip on their shoulders (as I once had) : love your culture and make it better! Stop being so damn hurt and sensitivethats your issue, not the issue of China nor its people living in China. Everyone here is busy making this place nicer with a better standard of living for the people. Do your part there and stop ranting and raving at some webstie dedicated to funny translations!

    Use your patriotism wisely.

    Note:
    Oh by the way, according to China and its citizensHong Kong chinese are also citizens of China. :)

    Cheers to you all anon people..

  • 549 Hiu // May 27, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Last note: the spelling mistakes come from the fact that they retype everything again to photocopy (instead of cut and paste) cos not everyone here working in a multi-service fruit/print/fax shop knows how to use Word tools properly. So if they cant read English and they are retyping, they also wont be spell-checking..hence why the menu turned out so hilarious.

    It happens to signs too, people spend money to buy neon signs, give the word to the sign maker who cant read english who switches by carelessness a v for a w or something like that, next thing you know you got another word but since you paid for it and you cant read it.you dont care.

    You cant believe how many interns come to my office and only learned spell check, formatting and cut & paste after working with me for 4 months!

    Universities dont teach basic office admin software here.. :)

  • 550 Tiga // May 27, 2007 at 11:00 pm

    This is hilarious. Im learning Chinese and have said some pretty stupid things unwittingly, such as I want your butt (instead of apple) called someones mum a horse and said i would like to fuck an electrician - Chinese tones are hard to perfect and dictionaries often give you the wrong word. I have given my teachers much to laugh at, so its nice to get a laugh sometimes too!!

  • 551 Anonymous // May 28, 2007 at 4:11 am

    Oh my god, I cant believe I spent over an hour reading all of this!

    I found the menu mildly amusing, and chuckled in places. I have read similar menus on my travels through South East Asia. What interested me more were the negative comments posted regarding this as racist. The debate seems endless, and all over a badly translated menu.

    I agree that racism is wrong and should be stamped out, but I do think that political correctness has gone mad, and apparently we must all tread on egg shells to avoid upsetting others. Bollocks to that!

    If it doesnt hurt someone intentionally or being malicious and it is funny then keep it coming. We all need humour in our lives to keep our spirits up else we all become sad, miserable, twats like the ones who have bothered to spend time shouting this web site down.

    I love the world baby! But it aint gonna stop me laughing at it! :))

  • 552 Anonymous // May 30, 2007 at 6:05 am

    a restaurant in Foshan? Its a pity that when I was there, in 1992, there were no english menu anywhere.

    Anyway, europeans (I have no idea about americans) wearing T-shirt (or even worst having tatoo) with chinese characters written upside-down: thats quite funny too. I met a boy with a si (=death) tatoo. He had no idea of the meaning.
    And whats about the girl with a 我很便宜 T-shirt? ;-)

  • 553 AL // May 30, 2007 at 7:03 am

    hi, i live & born in hong kong, of course, im chinese, hey, can you remember and post the address of this restaurant?? i never see this funny stuff before, i cant stop laughing~~ have a nice day~~~

  • 554 Bookmarks « Christians Blog! // Jun 3, 2007 at 4:22 pm

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  • 555 jpw // Jun 4, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    I love things like this menu, or like http://www.hanzismatter.com/! I
    love languages, and the wonderful, strange myriad ways we humans find
    of expressing ourselves. Ive recently started trying to pick up a
    bit of Russian, since I have two Russian coworkers sitting near me,
    and I dont wanna be left out of all the fun they seem to be having!
    ^_^

    Someone else might be intimidated at two people speaking in a
    different language, assuming that they must be talking about him and
    saying something insulting. But me? I dont get paranoid; I just
    feel left out.

    And, really, that sums up the main difference between those polyglots
    whove left comments of appreciation and those insecure, self-important
    anklebiters bleating, racism! to hear the sound of their own
    voice or in this case, see their own words in-print in the comment
    section. Clearly, the latter group of commenters fall in the
    foreign-language paranoia group, reacting in anger at anyone
    speaking a language they dont understand, assuming (wrongly) that the
    conversation in that other language is All About Them.

    (Sorry, anklebiters, but its _not_ All About You.)

    Someone once asked me, Arent you afraid of embarrassing yourself in
    ? Oh, no, Id reply, I __know__
    Im gonna make an ass of myself. So I threw all shame to the winds
    long ago, and learned to laugh at myself. That attitude is,
    obviously, the one held by the polyglot commenters. Theyve made
    numerous howlers in the second/third/fifth/etc. languages they speak,
    and have developed an appreciation for silly syntax and mangled
    morphemes.

    Those who approach life with a sense of play will see this menu as
    fun, silly humor of Dada-esque quality.

    Those who approach life with xenophobic fears will see those fears
    reflected back, not only by this menu, but by anything and everything
    they encounter.

  • 556 fawker // Jun 5, 2007 at 6:41 am

    Fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin . sounds like the instruction manual for taking body shots off a penis. I loved it.not the body shots the menu!!!!!

  • 557 Sam // Jun 9, 2007 at 1:12 am

    incredible!! great find

  • 558 Bob // Jun 9, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    I always have trouble trying to decide as wellthe cowboy leg sounds appetizing but then again. the salty egg vegetable sponge liver pig soup sounds good too :)) good thing for smogs !!

  • 559 Maya // Jun 10, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    Oh god, this is the funniest thing Ive seen in weeks. Kudos to you. I cant stop laughing long enough to drink my Papsier, Pepsi. :P

  • 560 pop // Jun 11, 2007 at 7:30 am

    I think chinese laguage is too difficult for me. Its has a complex and a lot of symbol.

  • 561 MaureenChiatello // Jun 11, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    For those who think this is all made up (it could be) and its racist (I didnt see any phrases that Chinese people are stupid or ignorant or less than human or whatever) and for those who wish to be offended, but who I think could use a laugh anyway.
    go ahead and read the backs of packages at the Dollar Store. You really think all this is made up? (Anyone ever watch Lenos Stuff we found at the Dollar Store (or whereever) feature?)

  • 562 ralph teppy // Jun 14, 2007 at 10:06 am

    This making fun of me

  • 563 Anonymous // Jun 15, 2007 at 11:50 am

    I can not believe it. Our English is not as poor as you think. A lot of Chinese speak perfect English.

  • 564 Billy Gao // Jun 17, 2007 at 11:20 am

    Thats true, alot of us so speak proper English, the other 98% however.

    Anyway, PLEASE PLEASE tell me where that restaurant is, Ive never seen a menu as bad as that before :P

  • 565 Chubbs // Jun 17, 2007 at 10:59 pm

    My parents own a Chinese restuarant in Boston, and thank God they dont struggle like that. I dont think this is racist or anything, but people need to realize that they are trying to adjust to a Western language and culture. I mean, what if you were in their shoes trying to translate an American menu into Chinese?

    Funny shit thoughthe restaurant manager pretty much gave no effort into making the menu readable.

  • 566 Anonononymoose // Jun 21, 2007 at 1:36 am

    I suspect that the word Cowboy actually refers to a calf (cows boy, young cow), therefore Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole might be something like a veal kebab

  • 567 july // Jun 21, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    You guys are very unrespectful.. .
    Let me ask you ,, can you speak Chinese??
    If do not, please shut your mouth .. Zip your lips

  • 568 Camay // Jun 25, 2007 at 8:53 pm

    I dont think Ive ever laughed this hard in my life. And I sit here silently busting a gut because its late and my kids are asleep. This is just too hilarious, Im definitely forwarding this to my e-pals.
    Thanks for the laughter & tears LOL

  • 569 --- // Jun 26, 2007 at 3:42 am

    hahah i dont think theres anything wrong with this, im chinese myself and proud of my culture but i sat here cracking up while reading the whole thing. Nothing wrong with using a little racism in humor aslong as its light hearted.

  • 570 Salty Egg King Steams The Vegetable Sponge « MaoChan // Jun 29, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    [] Braised Man Fruit. []

  • 571 Some Guy // Jun 30, 2007 at 9:41 pm

    I saw some pretty funny things on the menu when I went to China too, for example what the hell is explode fries the snail!!!

  • 572 The Dude // Jul 4, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    This is friggin hilarious. I dont really think its that racist. Its like a comedy of errors. If I tried to translate English into Chinese, Im sure there would be eleventy billion Chinese people laughing at me for blundering so much, too.

    Dont get so uptight. Either lighten up or do yourself a favor and shoot yourself in the face.

  • 573 Alio // Jul 5, 2007 at 10:33 am

    Kin I git a Cowboy Leg with a side of Man Fruit?! YEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAA!!

  • 574 dink // Jul 6, 2007 at 2:26 am

    Laughed till I cried Havent done that since I found www.engrish.com for the first time! Once in a while I get a good chuckle when Im walking around town in Japan sometimes my students will come up with some pretty wacky stuff too but nothing so awesome as eating Cowboy Leg or the carbon burns black bowel Im guessing thats just the coals straight out of the BBQ?

    BTW, people who can read a good amount of Japanese (ie: me) can understand how a few of the mistakes were made too the rape and cowboy ones for instance

    In my opinion this is most certainly NOT a machine translation. A machine translation wouldnt make so many spelling errors. Youd never end up with retchup. because its not in the dictionary.

  • 575 fred dinage // Jul 6, 2007 at 7:27 am

    The best translation i saw on a menu was for fried chicken nipples. As i didnt speak any Chinese at the time i thought it best not to take pot luck with it.

  • 576 Elaine // Jul 8, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    my husband has a brain tumor and theres been not much to laugh at till this arrived thanks for the light moment..saving this on my favorites for future use!
    please submit more.
    PS Im Chinese

  • 577 2007FOODSAFETY « News about fruits and vegetables // Jul 10, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    [] Beijing moves to show it is tackling food safety problems. Details []

  • 578 Rob // Jul 16, 2007 at 12:07 am

    So what DID you order?

  • 579 Suzieq // Jul 17, 2007 at 12:18 am

    OMG i think my favorite is Sydney and white tree fungus braise pig heart that sounds absolutely replusing! tree fungus? ewww

  • 580 Camán // Jul 21, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    I after laughing so hard Ive got pain in my stomach, am short of breath and have a tear stained t-shirt. thanks! I needed that.

    Well done, spotting this, indeed.
    Good man yourself.

  • 581 LUNATALK Blog | Music, Musings, Mischief from Eva Moon // Jul 22, 2007 at 7:22 am

    [] MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER? - the absolute drop-dead funniest translation job ever. How could anyone resist the cowboy leg beautiful pole? []

  • 582 Billy // Jul 22, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Languages always get mangled up when translations are not done by professionals. The English translations on the menu are ridiculous and is nothing new as resources for expert translations are limited.

  • 583 Rika // Jul 23, 2007 at 6:42 pm

    Oh my god, so genius. I i just wet myself laughing

  • 584 Not so Anonymous // Jul 24, 2007 at 3:15 am

    I will have some more of the Rape please

  • 585 Michael // Jul 27, 2007 at 7:40 am

    Funny post, liked it a lot. But to be honest a lot of menus in English are getting pretty much incomprehensible too. for example:

    Braised soupcon of french veal served in a vintage fragrant wine sauce attended with rissotoes of riffled spinach and apple fried potatoes.. !!!

    why cant they just say fried deer with wine sauce, chips and spinach salad?

  • 586 Roostah // Jul 30, 2007 at 10:14 am

    I soiled myself, thats some damn funny internet..

  • 587 anonymous // Jul 30, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    If you want to see how bad machine translations are, simply take some text from a news report and paste it into Google translate, then translate it back.
    The more slang or technical terms the better. Better yet go through three or four languages.
    English-German-English

    If you liked to see, how bad machine translations are, simply something text of a message report takes and sticks it translated into Google, then it back to translate. The more jargon or technical designations the better. Improve nevertheless three or four languages continuously.

  • 588 cee // Jul 31, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    Michael,

    FYI, veals not deer, its calf. And wouldnt baby cow look appetizing on a menu? Yum!

  • 589 zenjewel // Aug 2, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    thats bloody hilarious.. I come from Singapore; when English isnt your main language it does come out hilariously wrong

    Thai menus, Vietnamese menus..

    The menus themselves are far more worthy an experience than the whole tasting the cuisine itself!!

    Brilliant site!

  • 590 Loserface // Aug 2, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    FUCK YOU HOES

  • 591 poohead // Aug 2, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    heres a good thing to put on ur site: shit

  • 592 Crunchy Mustard » 7 best Chinese dish translations // Aug 2, 2007 at 10:21 pm

    [] you Rahoi! This post is: Food, General Funny, Sensational Seven No Comments for the post: 7 best []

  • 593 jon // Aug 2, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    Looks like Loserface and poohead are the same person, in Calgary, Canada. Look, Caunckhole, its summer and Canada is beautiful - go outside.

  • 594 Best Chinese Food Menu EVER « Off The Broiler // Aug 3, 2007 at 7:56 am

    [] Rahoi.com May I Take Your Order? []

  • 595 kelly // Aug 3, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    I demand shrimp fucks!

  • 596 Matthew // Aug 6, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    I laughed so hard. How much did they charge you for the menu?

  • 597 Lizey // Aug 6, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    Yeah yeah we get it they dont speak English

  • 598 Barry // Aug 11, 2007 at 10:35 pm

    Well While in Changshu (Jiangshu Provice). I saw Frog Fat in Strong Smelling bean Curd. Now whether that was Fat Frog or Vice Versa, I still didnt order it.
    Food in China is SO different to westernized restaurants. If you go there be prepared to do your homework or suffer the consequences.
    Laugh at the translations on this site but dont jeer as Chinas national language isnt English, not until the US deems it has WOMDs

  • 599 Rich // Aug 12, 2007 at 3:15 am

    Dupe!

  • 600 N. Anonymous // Aug 12, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    We had an exchange student from Hong Kong, who couldnt speak English, but also couldnt speak Cantonese.
    Im not saying that all people from Hong Kong are dumb, but she sure was! Im sure now her parents put her in the exchange program just to pass her off.

  • 601 Rain City // Aug 13, 2007 at 1:08 am

    This is by far the worst menu translation. Its hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

  • 602 Snowdrops // Aug 19, 2007 at 10:04 am

    OMG, I literally have tears coming out of my eyes and my sides really hurt!! Thanks so much for sharing this, its friggin hilarious.

    My vote goes to Every Form Rape too, it absolutely bore no relations whatsoever to the original Chinese dish name. Methinks the translators tendency to loosely sprinkle words like fuck and rape over the menu is probably because hes a poorly-paid student whos just taking the piss, knowing full well that nobody will ever notice until now (Jon thank you for the trouble of buying the actual menu and scanning it for all the world to see!).

    Also, Im Chinese, and all those before me who were offended by this please ferchrissakes LIGTHEN UP! Jon never implied that ALL Chinese are as hopelessly lost in English translations as the owners of this particular restaurant, just that the problem is widespread in Mainland China because obviously, English isnt the peoples native tongue there. Im way more embarrassed by some commenters lack of a sense of humour than by this hilariously-mistranslated menu.

  • 603 Snowdrops // Aug 19, 2007 at 10:14 am

    Oh just saw the commenter above mine who perplexedly says that the HK exchange student s/he is hosting is dumb?! First of all, what the hell has that got to do with this?? And are you sure she really cant speak Cantonese, as thats actually the dialect in Hong Kong, or do you really mean Mandarin?

    Anyway, if youre such a hateful person why bother hosting foreign students in the first place? Im sure shes not speaking to you because youre not really that fun to be around in the first place.

  • 604 Lisa // Aug 20, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    HOW IS THIS RACIST??? How can you even choose what to eat based on this? IT IS funny. If you wish to sell your food to someone, you should first know how to communicate what it is you are serving!

    there is no insinuation that the authors are dumb in their native language but if I opened up a restaurant in China, Japan, or any other nation where I do not speak the language, you better believe the first thing I would do is hire a translator and then hire another translator to backcheck!!!

    THIS is crazy!!! You cannot even tell what you are ordering!

    For the fun of it I would have gone with cowboy leg.. and if it were any good I would have asked for the rest of the cowboy.

  • 605 Ummagumma // Aug 22, 2007 at 10:15 am

    I hear one of the ones near the end with a Joe Peschi accent:

    Why you gold silver lotus root silk fries shrimp fucks! Ill kill you all!

  • 606 Anonymous // Aug 22, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    This is the most hilarious thing Ive seen in a while. And to those who think its racist or something.

    Ever played Mad Libs? Reason why its so funny is because you put in random nouns/verbs/adjectives and the result is a hilarious nonsense story. Its a great game.

    So, it really has nothing at all to do with the fact that its Chinese - more with the mishmosh of words describing menu items than anything else.

    Even English speakers make fun of their own language. And yes, English is a difficult language to learn - especially when we have things like getting on the parkway and parking in the driveway and the use of on - turn on the light, put it on the table.

    Thanks for the laughs :) Ill be showing this page to all my buddies.

  • 607 N // Aug 23, 2007 at 11:22 am

    for commenter #43, please know that using an intellectual disability as an insult is an insult to the people with that actual label.

    this is very funny Engrish and having tried to learn various languages and not having had much success at Chinese yet, i definitely laugh WITH as much as AT.

    but, you gotta laugh

  • 608   Traduction dun menu chinois by _lang.doc // Aug 24, 2007 at 7:36 am

    [] billet rigolo sur rahoi.com, nous montre limportance de choisir un/une traducteur/trice à qui sa langue natale []

  • 609 iPood:Blag » Blog Archive » The Fig Braises the Lean Meat // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:01 am

    [] Link []

  • 610 andy // Aug 24, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    so what did you order?

  • 611 rosa mundi // Aug 25, 2007 at 6:02 am

    Oh my goodness, I have never laughed so hard and so long in all my 52 years, this took the biscuit, if not the odd cowboy leg or black bowel. Mines a man fruit braise the north almond please. South almonds had a bad year?

  • 612 NormaGold // Aug 25, 2007 at 10:01 am

    As an about to be tourist to China- I sure hope we see menu choices like this on our trip. Laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes.

  • 613 Cory // Aug 25, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    Ive lived in Qingdao for a year- is that where you are? Anyway, I know this is an expression often overused, but I absolutely mean it when I say I do not remember laughing so hard for so long in my entire life. It just kept getting funnier and funnier, and by the time I got to the end I had tears streaming down my face and my body was shaking violently. Thank you for this glorious post.

  • 614 Cory // Aug 25, 2007 at 7:07 pm

    Weird- I just looked two posts above mine, and noticed that rosa mundi said the EXACT same thing never laughed so hard and so long, as I did. That is weird!!! I swear I didnt read it before.

  • 615 aka_Pyro // Aug 25, 2007 at 10:33 pm

    OMFG. That doesnt even begin to describe how hard I laughed at Every Form Rape. Indeed, that would be strange to order to-go. LOL. LOL to the 10th power. I laughed so freaking hard I was crying and couldnt breathe.

  • 616 Sandy Lam // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:18 pm

    How can anyone say that this is not racist??? I cant believe that there is a whole page dedicated to laughing at this, laughing at these people. Im sure that they write the menu hoping that it will help English speakers. Obviously they did a horrible job but why wouldnt you tell them that their English translations are inappropriate and must be fixed?

    I AM SO ANGRY THAT PEOPLE ARE STILL RACIST. WE HAVE NOT COME FAR AT ALL. RACISM IS HIDDEN IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. WHERE DO YOU THINK WALL STREET COMES FROM? YOU LAUGH AND SAY ITS JUST A JOKE BUT SOMETIMES YOU CROSS THE LINE AND DONT EVEN KNOW IT.

    I AM NOT OVERREACTING. HAVE YOU EVER FELT WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER? FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE IT HAUNTS YOU, NEGATIVELY AFFECTING EVERYTHING YOU DO.

    DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS?

  • 617 Anonymous // Aug 28, 2007 at 12:16 am

    Sandy, your Caps Lock key is broken.

    Youre welcome. :)

  • 618 Otana // Aug 28, 2007 at 12:20 am

    Sandy Lam,

    The English in these menus isnt written to help English speaking tourists, its to boost the restaurants appeal and to make them appear higher class.

    Now get that stick out of your ass and stop seeing everything as racism. Or are you seriously defending this awful, awful English? Because if my Japanese were this bad, I would hope someone would laugh in my face hard enough to make me go back to school.

    Grow up and stop being so defensive about it.

  • 619 Dave Dude // Aug 28, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    LMFAO! this is the best thing i have ever seen, no kiddin! I lold like 100 times reading this. Oh and for all you non-believers, the haze around the letters is simply from the JPEG compression.

  • 620 Snowdrops // Aug 29, 2007 at 3:08 am

    Oh Sandy Lam*, grow up! How the hell did you ever equate laughing at this (the mistranslation) to laughing at these people (Chinese)?????? Stop being so freakin hyper-sensitive and stop confusing harmless humour based on cultural misunderstandings to racist humour! If anyone has crossed the line it is you.

    And yes, I am Chinese. Now stop embarrassing me and Chinese people the world over with your over-reactive defensiveness.

    *And could you stop using the Sandy Lam nick as shes actually one of my favourite singers, whos a lot more mature and level-headed than your post above suggests.

  • 621 Matt // Aug 29, 2007 at 6:25 am

    That was so funny i cried!

  • 622 Jessiqua // Aug 29, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    That was some of the funniest shit I have seen in a LONG time. I havent laughed that hard in forever

  • 623 Sandy Lam // Aug 30, 2007 at 12:55 am

    I knew I would get these types of comments fired back at me.

    Wow. My name IS Sandy Lam. And if I didnt post my name along with my opinion, then whats the point? No one would ever dare say this in public. Its sad that someone could receive such a hard beating for expressing ones opinion.

    It is also sad that racism can actually be humourous.

  • 624 Ling // Aug 30, 2007 at 4:10 am

    As an Asian American, Sandy Lam, I can assure you that my white boyfriends botched Cantonese in Hong Kong did brings laughs, but he instead laughed and saw teh humor when he realized what he did, instead of pointing his finger and yelling OMG RACIST!

    This is not a menu with minor english errors. This is a clusterfuck of terrible english mistakes, and whoever translated it, does indeed earn those laughs trying to pass that off as coherent english.

  • 625 annon // Aug 31, 2007 at 7:25 am

    Do you seriously think that English speaking persons who visit China are not laughed at (by the Chinese) for their feeble attempts at communicating in Chinese? Are they racist for chuckling when we ask for a a blow job, when we mean a hair dryer?

    Lighten up!
    Its just humor.

    Have you ever laughed at the Church Bulletin bloopers that have asked the church ladies to go downstairs after church for a good time with the pastor? A typists error. But its funny. Discrimination againnst secretaries? No.
    Just humor. Its everywhere, and life is a lot more fun if you can see it, especially in yourself.

    Good luck with that.

  • 626 The Clever Shark » Blog Archive » If thats what the menus are like, no wonder tourists only eat at McDonalds. // Aug 31, 2007 at 9:45 am

    [] May I take your order? Taiwanese restaurants English menu is more confusing than trying to read the original Chinese descriptions. Personal favorites include (seriously) JJ Living the Bowel, Cowboy Leg, Every form rape (DO NOT WANT) and The special features Namely Whets the Almond (huh?). []

  • 627 Lokrin // Sep 2, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    I was working late in a store one night when these two Chinese guys come in and ask me; You got big cock? Two litre? Oh, Big COKE!

    I also heard of a restaurant in New York where the owner painted signs on the mens and womens restrooms in a bunch of different languages. He didnt know the Chinese, so just copied the writing off the back of a plate he had. Everything was fine for a few years until someone broke out in hysterical laughter. Seems that translation was Chinese Relief and only someone who was familiar with both languages would have gotten the unintentional joke.

  • 628 You got the Wong person // Sep 2, 2007 at 10:24 pm

    Oh jeez. This whole page gave me quite a lot of laughs, but the comments dont compare to the original post itself. Every form rape for the win. =D

    For the record: Im Chinese. Well okay, Im a second-generation banana/twinkie/CBC because my mother came from mainland China, and my father from Macau. This page? Hilarious. Sure, Ive been picked on as a kid. Insulted for speaking/being Chinese? Of course. You know what? I got over it. Childhood ribbing isnt a big deal unless you make it into one.

    I showed this page to my brothers. They laughed. I showed my dad. He laughed, too. Especially at the last four. Clearly those who do scream that this page is offensive are simply looking for something to whine about.

    Stop defending people who arent offended, you morons. If Chinese people actually are offended, they would outright say it, as this Sandy Lam person did. Let us fight our own PC battle, okay?

  • 629 FaceFurFiend // Sep 3, 2007 at 10:40 am

    Fuck the salt (beautiful pole) Duck chin

    Even the hardly speaking Chinese know that we have too much salt in our diet.But I think duck chin would need some! Damn Chinglish.

  • 630 CAt // Sep 3, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    Definitely hilarious!!! I have laughed so hard I can barely breath, please keep on postin these things please, I came across this site by chance and have made it one of my favorites.

  • 631 james // Sep 3, 2007 at 9:35 pm

    bloody brilliant

  • 632 jamesflores.net » Blog Archive » May I take your order? // Sep 3, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    [] This is definitely the best of all Engrish jokes. []

  • 633 Russ // Sep 4, 2007 at 9:35 pm

    I think I had slippery meat in kings vegetables in pillar in Boy Scout camp once, but this is the first Ive time Ive discussed it in 24 years.

  • 634 gLeZeL // Sep 5, 2007 at 5:11 am

    hehehehei wish to visit there..hmmp!!been wonderin how to eat a mountain..huh?.. yeah ur ryt..what a shit!!

    cool blogshehehe

  • 635 TIHZ_HO // Sep 7, 2007 at 2:54 am

    What makes this even funnier is did you know that all Chinese must study English from primary School through to High School and in order to graduate from university they must pass an English proficiency test?

    You think they ought to check their English books!

    :lol:

    Cheers

  • 636 John // Sep 7, 2007 at 11:00 am

    Fantastic this made me laugh out loud, where is this restaurant, I dont know how much you paid for the menu but its a bargain.

  • 637 Pleiades Spark // Sep 12, 2007 at 4:09 am

    to bad that every resturant in the world didn’t have to acomindate every other language. You stupid white people think it’s so easy to know English. Try learning a different language and write a book. I bet you couldn’t do it without messing up.

    White people.interesting assumption from this commenter.

    I giggle-snorted my way through the whole thing ;>

  • 638 Zippy Cowboy Leg // Sep 15, 2007 at 11:20 pm

    And why is there a picture of Hereford Cathedral on the menu?!!!!

  • 639 hiutopor // Sep 17, 2007 at 9:20 am

    Hi

    Very interesting information! Thanks!

    Bye

  • 640 Ulf Raharjo // Sep 19, 2007 at 5:19 pm

    they only wanna do you dir. Ulf Raharjo.

  • 641 Terorrr // Sep 22, 2007 at 4:25 am

    This is really crazy! Those ppl doin the translation simply had no clue what soever.. Fuck the salt! hahahaha!!!

  • 642 paijo // Sep 24, 2007 at 7:12 pm

    its a good case to observe the mistranslation. however, its very funny. i cant stop laughing.
    :)

  • 643 matt and dave // Oct 6, 2007 at 10:49 am

    fucking hilarious.

  • 644 mark // Oct 8, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    I cried

  • 645 Trems mate Chester // Oct 9, 2007 at 7:51 am

    Is it wierd that that made me hungry?

  • 646 吹牛 « elch oder 12? // Oct 14, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    [] achja, hier noch nen link.. das ist perfektes chinglish []

  • 647 Nielle // Oct 18, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    Lol. I thought this was hilarious! Im Chinese myself, and I love Engrish! There were many valid points made in the bajillion above comments, but I dont see this post as racist in any way. It is true that English is hard to learn for someone who wasnt raised on it, and not really accessible in many parts of China, so please dont bash anyone by saying that they should have mastery of the language before opening a restaurant. However, people shouldnt go around calling this post racist either, get a sense of humor - who wouldnt laugh if someone offered you the carbon roasts the sheep sparerib? LOL.

    My dad found this funny too, we all love our Engrish in this household. Btw, is it ok that a linked a few of these pictures to your site? This was too funny not to share :) I think I peed my pants a littleahahahaha

  • 648 Andreas Tennyson // Oct 21, 2007 at 4:45 pm

    you had me suicidal, suicida. Andreas Tennyson.

  • 649 h$$ // Oct 23, 2007 at 6:55 pm

    hahahahaha this made me laugh sooo hard.
    the comments are great!

  • 650 G-Man // Oct 25, 2007 at 11:31 pm

    Well, I say this with tears streaming down my face, I dont think Ive ever laughed so hard in my life. Im hoping thats simply because its two-thirty in the morning, but who knows. Cheers!

  • 651 Mike // Oct 26, 2007 at 8:59 am

    Day 68 on J&J: Living The Bowel, and J has just emerged from the bathroom after completing a long, hard task.

  • 652 Kill It With Fire » Blog Archive » Good to eat mountain // Oct 29, 2007 at 9:36 pm

    [] Some great englrish menu items. []

  • 653 Dead man walking // Oct 31, 2007 at 7:15 am

    Hilariousand learn to laugh at yourselves if you find this offensive - if you cant and think youre just being proud, you are, in fact, pathetic.

    I speak only 3 languages and Ive certainly been laughed at using one of them but I have never felt offendedits a fucking learning process, or in this case not caring about getting someone to translate for yougrow up whiners.

  • 654 Nilrem's Lady // Nov 4, 2007 at 10:37 am

    So funny! And all the comments are great too! Thanks for the laughs and please keep it up!

    =^_^=

  • 655 liiii // Nov 5, 2007 at 8:31 pm

    lmao yeah i can see your frustration. i speak 4 languages . the translation IS correct word by word, but the real meaning is lost in the tranlastion. lol its hilarious though. i bet this wasnt a expensive or formal resturant.

    heck they spelled delicious wrong and coca coca?

    but i love china, food is really good=)

  • 656 pikey // Nov 7, 2007 at 6:26 am

    hahahahahaha.. this is really hillarious..

  • 657 大学生创业|创业 // Nov 8, 2007 at 6:57 pm

    So funny! And all the comments are great too! Thanks for the laughs and please keep it up!

  • 658 Jessica // Nov 9, 2007 at 3:00 am

    I am having such a bad week and this really made me crack up, thanks :)

  • 659 John // Nov 15, 2007 at 7:31 am

    Im living in Taiwan now and I can totally relate. when you are lucky enough to find a menu in english this is what it reads like. when I ask my friends what something is their favorite response is made by fish. what is that supposed to mean?

  • 660 Marcy // Nov 19, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    I have to say that although this was funny as shit, your comments were the best. Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?. HAHAHAHAHA!

  • 661 Links from LinkGrabber | steventhomas.co.za // Nov 21, 2007 at 12:43 am

    [] http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order/ []

  • 662 John // Nov 22, 2007 at 5:31 pm

    svHsB8 3v3445vtt075nvn0g8d0nb

  • 663 Alices Adventures in China » Blog Archive » Chinglish // Nov 26, 2007 at 8:31 am

    [] is Chinglish (incorrect English, particularly of the Chinese variety). The other day I came across this blog with a hilarious Chinglish menu on it. I laughed outloud for way longer than is healthy. What was []

  • 664 Faye // Nov 27, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    This isnt a racist post at all. It highlights just how much we misunderstand each other all around the world and just how humorous it is.

    Believe me, until youve lived with a French family whose teenaged daughter thought that f*ck was an acceptable word to use at the dinner table or have been laughed at (after the looks of abject horror crossed their faces) for asking your hosts mother to pass the condoms (preservatifs=condoms, *not* jam in French) you havent lived. ^^

    love your Manglish posts Mr. Rahoi!

  • 665 Sigart // Nov 29, 2007 at 10:09 pm

    Hilarious! I was laughing so hard I had tears coming down my cheeks!

    OMG, I LIVE IN FOSHAN! I need to go there where is it? I live in Nanhai, close by any chance?

    That aside English is extremely difficult to learn for Chinese because in English you have -grammar-, something that is practically non-existent in Chinese. As an English teacher in primary school I know exactly where it hurts; the whole idea that you use different words epending on when you did the action is completely foreign.

    Also some of the words that is one word in English is two, three, maybe five words in Chinese. (not exactly accurate, but its difficult to explain) I would have to say that the person who translated this translated every single Chinese word without knowing that they have a different meaning alone rather than put together.

    I still think it was effing hilarious. I dont see where the whole racist things comes into this, but damnit, I dont really care right now. So funny.

    Hey, you -will- tell me where it is? Please?

  • 666 张士恩 // Nov 30, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    This has probably been flogged to death on this thread already but the righteously indignant posters here are the actually racist ones. The only way you could find this offensive towards the entire Chinese RACE is if you think this implies that Chinese people are actually too stupid to learn proper English and that were laughing at their genetic deficiencies. What these jerks fail to realize is that NO language student Chinese or otherwise thinks that you can plug a menu into Google translator and get a perfect English translation. The translators in question just dont care because the point is not to be accessible for foreigners, its to create a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Its like putting bad latin on the arch of a library in Bumblef*ck USA. Its there for snob appeal, not to be read by people who need the information. I would be very surprised if the outraged posters here actually speak Chinese or have any decent understanding of Chinese culture. More likely theyre all entirely Americanized Californians who are thrilled to be up in arms about something. Ah, indignation, the tiny bravery of small minds.

    Oh and in case Im wrong about your cultural fluency 我还无所谓你对这件事有什么想法。

  • 667 Zhang Fei // Dec 1, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    Sigart: English is extremely difficult to learn for Chinese because in English you have -grammar-, something that is practically non-existent in Chinese.

    Ill have to disagree with that. Every Chinese dialect has its own grammar - including Mandarin (the Beijing dialect). Sure, each dialect speaker doesnt think his dialect has any grammatical rules, but thats kind of like a native of Belfast saying to a Londoner - I dont have an accent - youre the guy with the accent.

  • 668 horticulturalist // Dec 1, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    To say that this site is, or is not racist, is incorrect. In the fact that all who read are unique and in fact different. Some laugh at the miscommunication and misunderstanding; others laugh at the ethnic peoples attempting to bridge the cultural gap. The ladder holds my contempt.

    In this case, friends, you are your own judge, jury, and executioner. Make sure, however, that you know exactly what you are laughing at. Discrimination is segregation, segregation is abomination. We are what we choose to make of ourselves.
    and remember..
    fuck the salt eat healthy. In the words of Ben Johnson and Joanne McCloude, keep fit, and have fun.

  • 669 JulieAndrewsFan // Dec 1, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    I cant stop laughing! This is the funniest Ive read for a long time!

  • 670 Chris // Dec 2, 2007 at 7:07 am

    > Some people wrote that the restaurant at
    > least took an effort to translate the menu
    > into English

    I doubt it. Im a translator (Chinese to English) by trade.

    First, the entire menu looks machine-translated. This takes no effort at all, and avoiding getting the translation done professionally was probably a cost-saving measure. You get what you pay for.

    Second, anyone translating into a language thats not their native tongue who actually cares about the result would have a native speaker check it for errors. If they put any effort into it, they would have had an English-speaker look at it. They didnt. Why? Laziness, cluelessness, fear of losing face, or plain apathy.

  • 671 HD // Dec 2, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    red date silk-tubed container steams frog what the hell?

    and also what is hometown meant to be in chinese? lmao

  • 672 HD // Dec 2, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    also adding a peaceful could be of great value in this stressful world

  • 673 Nora // Dec 4, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    I laughed until my sides ached.

    Thank you

  • 674 We need a Learning Management System! Really? « Impactiviti blog // Dec 6, 2007 at 11:07 am

    [] P.S. Maybe the misspellers are using the same service that created this menu: []

  • 675 lees // Dec 6, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    i laughed like i hadnt in a long, long time.
    this just made my lunch that much more enjoyable.

  • 676 Xyre : Stir-fried wikipedia // Dec 6, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    [] on Chinese restaurant menus. This is, of course, not new (as has, of course, been widely documented), but this particular instance is quite amusing because of the way the word wikipedia shows up in []

  • 677 Pete Victor // Dec 6, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    >First, the entire menu looks machine-translated.
    >This takes no effort at all, and avoiding getting
    >the translation done professionally was >probably
    >a cost-saving measure. You get what you pay for.

    >Second, anyone translating into a language that’s
    >not their native tongue who actually cares about
    >the result would have a native speaker check it for
    >errors. If they put any effort into it, they would
    >have had an English-speaker look at it. They
    >didn’t. Why? Laziness, cluelessness, fear of losing
    >face, or plain apathy.

    Perhapsbut on the other hand, theyve gotten
    people from around the globe studying and
    discussing their product offering. Wish I could do
    that for free! :)

  • 678 John_s // Dec 6, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    Second, anyone translating into a language that’s not their native tongue who actually cares about the result would have a native speaker check it for errors. If they put any effort into it, they would have had an English-speaker look at it. They didn’t. Why? Laziness, cluelessness, fear of losing face, or plain apathy.

    I dont think this is about laziness, clueslessness or whatever the fuck, I dont think they CARE!. so just back the fuck off and have a sense of humour

  • 679 Randomness and the Internet « Montageman: A dude who writes // Dec 6, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    [] there is something so geeky about these pictures that I love.  Via del.icio.us today, I ran into one of the funniest things Ive ever read, which then led a friend of mine to offer this site as a further example of []

  • 680 jerry // Dec 6, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    I`ll have the Salty egg vegetable sponge liver pig soup!

  • 681 m // Dec 6, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    Its like the poetry.

  • 682 links for 2007-12-07 : Bob Plankers, The Lone Sysadmin // Dec 6, 2007 at 11:17 pm

    [] May I take your order? OMFG, ROFL (via Jeremy Zawodny) []

  • 683 Translated Chinese menu « sandipb.net // Dec 7, 2007 at 1:10 am

    [] May I take your order? []

  • 684 Marcs Voice » Blog Archive » Getting ready to head to Paris, Milan, Delhi and Banglore - blogging // Dec 8, 2007 at 5:37 am

    [] I just love this piece on cultural disconnect - using a Chinese Menu. I use Chinese menus as a metaphor for speccing out large projects - so this one specially hit home. []

  • 685 Jen Montgomery // Dec 8, 2007 at 8:44 am

    Wow. This is so funny. I am linking to it on my blog. our commentary is great. Thank you for buying the menu and sharing it with us.

  • 686 anon // Dec 9, 2007 at 7:11 am

    hey people dont u know that they made those funny menus deliberatelynow a lot of foreingers are wanting to visit Chinalol

  • 687 Alan // Dec 10, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Oh my god, that is the funniest thing I have ever read I am making a total obsene spectacle of myself laughing here at work, and no doubt wet my pants.

  • 688 Nagib Aziz // Dec 13, 2007 at 9:04 am

    notebook pda buy notebook today 5113 as5715z 1a1g08mi nout

  • 689 HK // Dec 14, 2007 at 2:05 am

    right. It is totally wrong.But it is not easy to translate. don´t laugh.

  • 690 Ari // Dec 21, 2007 at 6:05 am

    Hi,

    Love the siteI wasted many an hour reading your posts but this has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It was impossible to keep myself from laughing. Well done.

  • 691 David G // Dec 29, 2007 at 9:41 am

    Heh! - that was funny :)
    (hard to belive theyre real though!?!)

  • 692 Ash // Dec 29, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    *LMFAO!!!*

    Looks like they used an online translation function that DIRECTLY translated some rather colorful terms for Chinese food.

    Of course the mystery remains as to why dried translates to fuck.

  • 693 Ken // Jan 3, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Funny

  • 694 Anonymouse // Jan 5, 2008 at 1:08 am

    Ash:
    Start at the top, and scan for travelled
    Prof explains it there.

    An interesting aside: We have introduced the same equivalent the other direction, as in Yeah, Id do him.

  • 695 I am Chinese // Jan 5, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    I am a Chinese Amercian Born in the State, i can assure you no one within any giant knowledgable background of Chinese can do this stuff if they are fake.
    I know all of the Chinese mentioned above and it is freaking hilarous.

    This is a cooperation with poor word choice and typo..

    For example, Frying Noodle with 3 ingnedients means literally mean 三絲炒麵.

    Where 三 mean three, 絲 mean silk 炒麵 mean Fry noodle.

    Actually this dish is 3 type of meat (Beef, Pork and chicken) chop in to fine pieces and fried with noodle

    If you know Chinese and you start pick up character by character, this menu will perfectly make sense.
    P.S 干 is a foul work in China it literal mean fuck in English, therefore, you see so much fuck in this menu..
    If you want the whole thing translate to English that make sense, tell me about it here.

  • 696 I am Chinese // Jan 5, 2008 at 11:12 pm

    typing too fast, word, not work

  • 697 ken // Jan 12, 2008 at 9:29 am

    I love 1331. Its worth the 18 yuan. It looks and smells like a Tampon pulled from a cesspool. The garlic i9mproves the strange, unidentifyable flavor, which may be cowboy leg gone bad, but its low in calories. Maybe tastes like fuck. Aiiiyahh!

  • 698 katherine // Jan 14, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    awesome!
    Really I loved it!
    This is translation!
    Be careful because you never know when it could be you. I did few mistakes myself when i learned other languages. And just with my e-mail before i knew what it means in English. You have to laugh at yourself too. Enjoy and dont forget them!!!lololol
    p/s in the comment the pussy instand of pepsi was really the most hilarious comment i ever heard!
    katherine

  • 699 Ride-a-Cowboy // Jan 15, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Too funny! The translations are absolutely hilarious! Thank you! It reminded me of a few years back when an all-you-can-eat chinese buffet opened up here in town. The first time we went, the waitress asked what we would like to drink. Not having a menu in hand, I asked what our options were and she replied, Wahta, tea, pessy and sply. I asked for clarification because I just didnt quite get what the last two items were. Come to find out, she was saying Pepsi and Sprite. Yes, for the most part, we DID manage to maintain a certain level (borderline?) of composure but rest assured, we still had a good laugh about it. To this day, we often refer to our soft drinks as Pessy and Sply.

  • 700 feefifoto // Jan 15, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    Just today my sister and I had lunch at a restaurant where one of the specials was, according to the waitress, Field of Greens Salad (if you serve it they will order?) Neither of us could make eye contact with the other for fear of BWAHAHAHAHing out of our chairs. We decided it must have been a momentary slipup but ten minutes later she said the same thing to another table of customers.

  • 701 Make7UpYours // Jan 16, 2008 at 11:41 am

    But wait??!! Did you actually end up eating there?! Oh, and..Sour Bamboo Shoot Steams Fish Mouth? Its the living euphemism!

  • 702 A Jill of All Trades // Jan 16, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Thats hilarious!!! Everytime we go to this Chinese restaurant in town, I order Mello Yello no ice.

    She always repeats it back, Mello Yello no eye.

  • 703 Linda Lee // Jan 17, 2008 at 3:05 am

    As a native Chinese, I have the feeling that the translator had purposely mis-translated some of the words.for example, Good to eat mountain , fuck the salt and every form rape, I cant imagine how they got translated like this. And I doubt if its pure machine translation, because even a software would work better than this.

    Anyway, I laughed so hard over this that therere tears in my eyes. I think that only those who know the original meaning can fully understand the humor. I dont think its racist, its only an extremely bad case of irresponsible translation work, which is not rare, Im afraid.

    Sorry about any typing/grammar problems in my post, Ive been learning English for 8 years but I still have a long way to go.

  • 704 goatchowder // Jan 17, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Fuck! The salt! Salt the salting fuck salt! Salt! The fuck! F uck the fucking salt fuck!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyxNgnQ9m30

    Fuck. The. Salt. Fuck, yeah!

  • 705 optimizr // Jan 19, 2008 at 2:52 am

    Im a Chinese in Hong Kong, the menu are one of the awesome fun topics between us and the inland Chinese, since Olympics will be launch in Beijing (Peking) soon, the Chinese need to translate everything into English, but theyre not willing to hire (or ask) the right people to do the job, thats why these kind of funny translations were out.

    Well, lot of westerners love to travel Hong Kong, but across the border (to China) is another world, fully of fun, adventure and danger.

  • 706 Doorman-Priest // Jan 19, 2008 at 3:12 am

    Thank you so much. Ill have the Red Date Silk Tube Container Steams Frog - to go.

  • 707 Edward Nigma // Jan 21, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    Yes, is the Cowboy White or Dark meat?

    Burn the spring chicken Thats Cajun, right?

    Can I get Dlum Juice AND Mexican cilliy sauce on my steak?

    Have you tried a Colors World?

    In the Big Bowl White of Immerses Three Pill Can I get Zanex, Vallium, and Hydrocidone?

    I guess hell hath no fury like Fried beef Rice scorned.

    Sankist, I didnt know your sensi was so proud

    I didnt know your restaurant had a Yakusa sens of humor about steaming food

    Add a peaceful When the hell did Ghandi get here?

    So hows Whets the Almond these days?

    Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole OMG! THATS what this is!!!! Full Metal PANTS Jacket OR ELSE!!!!

    Yes, Id like to Moisten and Repair the Man Fruit on North Almond too Hrny bas-tas!

    When did we start plastering Coconut jews?

    That Carbon wouldnt happen to have the last name of Dallas would it? Confucius say, The First Dish is often The Fifth Element

    Those Hot Vegetables BETTER be benumbed. Fuck silk is delicate.

    Is the Every Form Rape gender specific?

    Animal Bukkake diagram, much?

  • 708 late-night-stumbler // Jan 26, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    OMG, I was almost ready to hit the hay, and I fell on this thing. Laughing myself to sleep is going to be tricky. My pick is the elegantly simple and straight to the point Sweet and sour bone Just tickled me more so than the others, although I will re-read it when fully awake, and no doubt find some others.

  • 709 I an Canadian // Jan 28, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    Thanks for the best laugh ever

  • 710 I am Canadian // Jan 28, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    err cant spell :PPPP

  • 711 The hell. // Feb 4, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    Stupid diptwat bashers. Its just a literally-translated menu. For all you people who think that this is racist and going ape-shit about it, you ARE overreacting. Take your head out of your ass; no ones laughing at the PEOPLE who made this menu. The characters were more or less shoved through a literal translator that butchered their meanings, and thats whats funny. Not the people.

    Yes, I am Chinese.

  • 712 ali // Feb 5, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    Every form rape has to be the ODDEST.
    likeits just total lol.
    Theres no other word.
    The poor people who dont know just how funny this actually is.

  • 713 Angel of Justice // Feb 7, 2008 at 11:00 am

    I had tears running down my face at Cashew Not (well, then, what the hell is it?). Wonderful, this really made my day.

  • 714 MoreMoose // Feb 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    I have to agreewe went to China, sat down in a wonderful Sezchuan restaurant in our hotel, started reading the menu and laughing harder and harderwe were afraid we were going to offend them. I almost bought a copy of the menu. There were things like Frog ovaries in bloody birds nest and Sauteed Fish Lips bowl.

  • 715 May I take your order? // Feb 10, 2008 at 9:03 am

    [] May I take your order? []

  • 716 ~ExAo // Feb 14, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    Where did you go for meal?
    Beijing? Shanghai?
    What is the name of that strange restaurant?

  • 717 yummy // Feb 16, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    ok,friend,I was once a waitress in beijing for three months at a big restaurant which served expensive cusines.my job was serving custemers overseas who speak english,cause i can speak fluent english,the restaurant aslo had a menu which concluding english names,but however they must have confused the guests who the restaurant eagerly wanted to please,well.you all could imagine what happened.so I spent so much time to get the menu come into normal.and I am s till working on how to inprove the situation of help more restaurant to get a better translation of menu.thats a big job,but I will try my best to avoid the mistakes,
    being a chinese ,I apologize for what happened on you guys.
    please get in touch with me, Id like to get some suggestions from u .
    thank u!
    yours

  • 718 Zhonghan // Feb 22, 2008 at 12:43 am

    As a Chinese, I must say Im not offended and its actually very funny.

    I dont understand 格式油菜, though. The proper translation should be assorted stir-fried vegetables and the worst literal translation should be Every Form Oil Vegetable, so I dont know why it ended up as rape. Its not even phoenetically accurate. Personally, I think some translators over in China dont like their job very much and just decided to have some fun.

  • 719 sponge/bob // Feb 23, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    that was awsome make sore to send more

  • 720 Lucy // Feb 26, 2008 at 9:03 am

    I love this sooo much - it literally makes me weep until I nearly pass outno-one could possibly make this up - its too funny! And I thought my local Chinese takewaway in Clapham, South London was funny because it had chicken wind on the menu.Keep it coming

  • 721 dcneby // Mar 1, 2008 at 3:46 am

    I have seen and enjoyed strange manglish. Some favorites are the Pitsa Parlore in Bethlehem, Israel, flyed Roster at the Bamboo Curtain in Odgen Utah. In Guam a Korean restaurant had something with the note gud and species wont keel you. And numerous Chinese (our favorite food) from the Phillippines to the UK, but never so many so concentrated. My wife and I feared we needed medical treatment for leaking eyes, ruptured ribs and jellied bellies. Thank you for sharing it.

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